Sunday, September 24, 2017

I often share about the all-sufficiency of Christ and how He meets my every need. Once again, I have evidence that He is and He does, indeed.

One evening this past week, I received an email from someone who indicated something that I was not expecting would happen. I was totally unprepared and unsuspecting of this information. Consequently, I was very unsettled but tried to commit it to the Lord and went to bed. Predictably, I was unable to relax and was awake most of the night, wrestling in prayer, committing this problem to the Lord, thinking about it, mulling it over. I could not NOT think about it...it was all consuming and overwhelming. 

In the morning, as I was preparing for my day, in desperation I asked the Lord for a word to calm my heart. In my heart, I heard the words: "Stand and see." I looked up that phrase in the concordance and found two instances where that was spoken.

The first one I looked up was 1 Samuel 12:16 where Samuel is scolding the people of Israel for demanding a king. He says to the people: "Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes! Is it not wheat harvest now? I will call upon the LORD to send thunder and rain. And you will realize what an evil thing you did in the eyes of the LORD when you asked for a king."

Then the Lord did indeed show His mighty power and great strength by sending thunder and rain. 

The other incident was recorded in Exodus 14 when the Israelites were at the Red Sea and saw the Egyptians coming up behind them. They were terrified and cried out to Moses. Then Moses told the people: "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still." (Exodus 14:13-14)

This was such a blessing to me...a wonderful reminder of God's deliverance of His people. They needed only to be still and watch Him work. This beautiful picture helped me calm down and trust that God was going to work out my own situation. He has promised to take care of us.

I have only to be still. I never saw myself as a worrier. But the situation I'm in has revealed to me that I am indeed so prone to restlessness and worry. I leaned a lot more heavily on Andy than I realized. If he would talk to me about issues, I would always be the one to say, "God is sovereign...He will work it out." In essence, I let Andy do the "worrying" for me. But I no longer have him to talk things over with - I feel the weight of responsibility.

But I long to be still, to have a quiet heart, to rest in the knowledge of God's almighty hand in my affairs. 

Psalm 37:7 ~ "Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him..."

Psalm 46:10 ~ "Be still and know that I am God..."

Isaiah 30:15 ~ "In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength."

Being still gives us the time and opportunity to contemplate God, what He is like and how He has worked in our lives in the past. Knowing Him gives us the assurance that things are in His competent hands.

Being still, though, is next to impossible for a "doer" like me. I need the Spirit's help and Jesus living through me, letting Him quiet my heart and trusting myself to His care.

Andy's condition continues to deteriorate. His tremors are out of control. If I take his hand to try to stop the tremor, instead of my stopping him, he controls my own arm so that it feels like it might just shake off. I don't know how he can stand it. Actually, it is very frustrating to him and causes anxiety. He's restless and can't sit or lie down for long. I don't think any position is comfortable for him.

I long to relieve his misery but I'm powerless. I've been reading Matthew's gospel to him, about all the miracles Jesus performed. I can't help but think that if we lived in Bible times, I'd take Andy to Jesus for healing. He is the Great Physician; He heals all our diseases. But even in Jesus' day, the people He healed all eventually died. 

So we look forward to eternal healing, where "our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." (Romans 8:18) 

"Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, because when we are clothed, we will not be found naked. For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life." (2 Corinthians 5:2-4)

Death will be swallowed up by life!  Eternal life - life as it was meant to be, forever and ever. No more sickness or ill health...fully alive in the presence of our Savior. Hallelujah!

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Since Dawn is now babysitting extra kids, it's not as easy for her to get to see Andy. It's not as easy to pack up 5 kids and take them somewhere, let alone to take them with her when she wants to see her dad. So we decided Friday afternoons would work for her. I meet her at Care One and we visit Andy together. This last week, she mentioned to me how blessed she is to have a dad who cherishes me, his wife. It reminded me of a song Andy and I used to sing together: Cherish the Treasure. He really practiced the words of that song. I felt cherished, he treated me like a queen. He was and still is a beautiful living example of the love of God, accepting, never failing, giving and forgiving.

Speaking of the love of God...the other night I was reading Psalm 136 to Andy. This psalm must have been a song because every verse includes the refrain: "His love endures forever." There are 26 verses in that psalm, so 26 times we're told His love endures forever. After I read a few verses, I stopped and asked Andy, "what do you think God is trying to tell us in this psalm?" He didn't know, so every time I got to "His love endures forever," I stopped, looked at him and said it. After another couple of verses, Andy said to me: "alright, already!" I told him I think God wants us to know His love never fails, it goes on and on.

Then today on the Christian radio station, someone was quoted as saying he was not proud of his love for God, but he was proud of God's love for him because it never fails. Amen!


Franklin Parker Preserve, 2015

Amico Island, 2015
Boundary Creek, 2015

Pakim Pond, 2015

Over a week ago, I took Andy to an appointment with his urologist for a cystoscopy. The appointment itself went well with some good results. The doctor was able to determine that his frequent uti's were not as a result of diseased bladder, kidneys, prostrate or urethra. The doctor said everything looks fine. His problem might be a result of the Parkinson's, but putting Andy on a maintenance drug might be the way to combat the problem. So far, it seems to be working. I was also wondering if the Alzheimer's might not be a contributing factor in the ongoing problem, as well. His brain is diseased and malfunctioning, and I'm sure this is affecting other parts of his body.

Andy has only been in the car 2-3 times in the last 9 months, so it shouldn't surprise me if he doesn't know what to do or how to get in the car. After our appointment, I walked with him to the car, taking him to the passenger side, then going back to the driver's side to unlock. While I was on the driver's side, he turned around and tried to get into the car next to ours. I told him that wasn't our car and to turn around, but that did not compute, and he continued to try the door of the other car. There was nothing to do but go over to him and physically take his hand off the car door, open our car door and tell him to get in. It still did not compute, and I was beginning to wonder if I did the right thing in taking him by myself. I had to get pretty firm in pushing him toward our car and into the seat. Once he was in, things were fine for the trip back to Care One.  

Ever since returning from my vacation, I've been very tired. That led to low feelings and an inability to handle any little stress that came along. On Thursday morning, in an interaction with someone, they promised to pray for me. By the end of the day, my mood had lightened, and I couldn't remember why I had been feeling so bad.

In another instance, God showed me how much He is for me. A situation came up where I felt like I was being forced to do something I really didn't want to. I talked to the Lord about it, being willing to do it if that's what He wanted but just not feeling at peace about it. I had finally decided that I needed to speak up and not let this happen. But before I could take the next step, I got a phone call that told me the situation was resolved. How good of the Lord. He knows my frame. He knows how hard it is for me to say no to someone and in this instance, He came to my defense and worked it out. I can't tell you how grateful I am.

Romans 8:31 ~ "If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?" 

Pastor's message this morning dealt with suffering in the world.There were many take-aways for me but I was especially struck with his statement that God is everywhere present, but "is NEAR to the brokenhearted." Psalm 34:18. So when we go through suffering, somehow God's presence is more felt and precious. He weeps with us, He ministers to us in ways that are compassionate, gracious and loving. He leads us to Himself through His kindness. He prays for us, sympathizes for us and understands.

Often our trials and difficulties cause us to understand on a deeper level the goodness of God.

Sunday, September 10, 2017

I happened upon a new song that really spoke to my soul. Although my sense of rhythm isn't that great, music moves me! Appropriate words and a catchy tune bless the heart like no sermon can. I had a choir director years ago, who often said: "He who sings, prays twice."

He Will
[Verse 1]
Heaven came and kissed the earth
Prophets long ago foretold His birth
He became the living word
To show the human heart its worth, oh-oh-oh-ohh

[Pre-Chorus]
Whether I'm in want or plenty
Whether I'm in health or ill
Our God promises His children
He will, He will

[Chorus]
He'll bind up the brokenhearted
Oh He will, oh He will
He'll set captives free from darkness
Oh He will, oh He will
He'll breathe hope into the hopeless
Help a restless soul be still
Oh-ohh, oh-ohh
He will, He will

[Verse 2]
He came to walk in truth and grace
Man of sorrows entered all our pain
On the cross, He took our place
Then He rose up out of the gra-a-ave

[Pre-Chorus]
Whether I'm in want or plenty
Whether I'm in health or ill
Our God promises His children
He will, He will

[Chorus]
He'll bind up the brokenhearted
Oh He will, oh He will
He'll set captives free from darkness
Oh He will, oh He will
He'll breathe hope into the hopeless
Help a restless soul be still
Oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-ohh
He will, He will!

Oh-oh-ohh, ohhh-oh
Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-ohh
Oh-oh-ohh, ohhh-oh
Oh-oh-ohhhh

[Bridge]
He'll give beauty for our ashes
He'll restore the oil of gladness
We will praise Him through our sadness
Until the promise is fulfilled
Oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-ohh
He will, He will

 [Chorus]
He'll bind up the brokenhearted
Oh He will, oh He will
He'll set captives free from darkness
Oh He will, oh He will
He'll breathe hope into the hopeless
Help a restless soul be still
Oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-ohh
He will, He will
Oh-oh-ohh, oh-oh-ohh
He will, He will

Psalm 147:3 ~ "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."

Luke 4:18 ~ "He has sent me (Jesus) to proclaim freedom for the [captives]." 

Psalm 42:5 ~ "Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."

Philippians 4:11-13, 19 ~ "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstance. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength....And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus."

As I listened to this song several times, with his many promises to be fulfilled ("I will"), I was reminded that he already has many times over:
  • bound up my wounded heart,
  • breathed hope into my hopelessness
  • stilled my restless soul
  • brought light to my darkness
  • provided for my needs 
So doesn't it seem reasonable to believe that since he's taken such good care of me in the past, he will also do so in the future and always.
Last weekend with the holiday, I decided I better make plans for my days so they wouldn't be so long and lonely. So on Sunday, I drove up to see Christy and her family. They had lots and lots of ripe tomatoes that needed to have something done with them, so I watched them work and helped a little while the tomatoes got peeled, mashed and cooked down for sauce. I loved seeing the family work together to accomplish this. I was also able to play a game or two with Claire and Asher before driving back home in time to visit Andy.

On Labor Day, I drove to a different part of Pennsylvania to see Amy and her gang. I had lunch with them, then drove with them to a craft store so Amy could pick up some materials for her art class she was teaching the next day. Again, I didn't stay long because I wanted to get back to see Andy.

I enjoyed just hanging out and doing life with both families while I was with them.

I didn't realize until afterwards that I had neglected to take any pictures of my time at both places. Grammy fail! I guess I'll just have to fall back on vacation pictures with Christy's kids. 






One of my favorite stories of Jesus is when he healed the paralyzed man let down through the roof by his friends. Jesus first told the man his sins were forgiven. This shocked the Pharisees because as they said, no one can forgive sins but God. How right they were! And then to prove Jesus had the power of God, he also healed the man. Every time I read this story, I think it's a beautiful illustration of Psalm 103:3 where David, the Psalmist, says that we are not to forget the Lord's benefits - "He forgives all our sins and heals all our diseases." And this is truly something to praise God about. 

Another song I heard this week (Tell Your Heart to Beat Again):

"Let every heartbreak and every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
'Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven's working
Everything for your good."
Tell Your Heart to Beat Again, Written by Matthew West, Bernie Herms, Randy Phillips • Copyright © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group, Capitol Christian Music Group

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Vacation! What a lovely word because it conjures up all kinds of pleasant feelings: getting away from it all, no work, relaxation, having fun, contentment.

I had been looking forward to this vacation since January. I must confess, that eight months ago, August seemed a lifetime away, like it would never come. But it did and now it's gone and in the past. 

It was bittersweet because it was another first to be experienced: the first time I was on vacation without Andy. He always added that element of fun and craziness to our vacations, and I couldn't help but miss that. But the sweet part was being with Christy and her gang. I am so grateful they invited me to join them.

I like to keep a record of each day's happenings while away. As the memories fade, we can refer back to that record for details we may forget.

I left work on Friday, August 11, finished packing, then drove to Harleysville to stay overnight at Christian and Christy's. We all went out to eat and while sitting at dinner, Christy mentioned that she couldn't find Claire's passport. It suddenly hit me that I had not packed my own passport. It was still in the safe at home. There was nothing to be done, but drive back home and get it. Fortunately, it was still early enough, and I was so relieved that we had thought of it before leaving the next day or when we got to the Canadian border a week later. 

Saturday morning, August 12, we woke early and left at 4:00 am, stopping at 8:00 for breakfast and at 1:00 for lunch. I drove my own car the whole way and averaged 59-60 mpg (I'm happy to say!). Several of the kids rode with me which helped to pass the time. We finally arrived in Eastport, Maine at 6:00 pm, to a house Christy had reserved through Airbnb.

Eastport, Maine...looking across to Canada
On the way to our house, we passed Cornerstone Church, so we decided to attend on Sunday morning. I'm glad we did. It was a small church but with good preaching and friendly people. As the pastor was saying Amen to his closing prayer, my phone buzzed. (Fortunately, I had put it on silent mode.) When I looked to see the caller id, I was somewhat apprehensive to notice it was Care One. But I answered and the nurse said everything was ok, but Andy wanted to talk to me. I guess he wanted to hear my voice because he didn't say much, just answered my questions. I couldn't help but wonder if I was going to hear from him throughout the two weeks I'd be gone, but as it turned out, he didn't call again.

After our lunch on Sunday, we spent several hours on the beach. It's a rocky beach, typical Maine, with no sand. The kids spent time in the kayaks but didn't have a lot of fun on the beach itself until they got the idea to build rock castles instead of sand castles. 


It's not a very comfortable beach to lie on. I'm very glad I brought my own chair.

The next day we drove into Canada across the International Bridge to spend the day at Roosevelt's Campobello "cottage." We did an interactive fun tour of the house and grounds and ate our lunch there. It was a beautiful spot. 


 


The kids and Christian played croquet on the front lawn. On the tour, we learned that FDR was quite a pianist and loved music. In one of the neighboring cottages, there was a Bluthner piano, a rare, exclusive piano made in Germany. The Bluthner family has hand made these pianos for more than 160 years. It is the piano of choice of many of the great late 19th century/early 20th century classical composers including Debussy, Rachmaninoff, Prokofiev, Ravel, and others. As part of our tour, the guide asked if one of us in the group would like to play something on the piano for the rest of us. We all encouraged Asher to do the honors and he did - beautifully.


After the tour, we explored more of the island, found a beach and camped out there for a while so the kids could throw rocks into the water. There was no problem finding rocks.








The next day, Asher said his muscles ached and he thought it was from all the rocks he had thrown the day before. I can believe it.

Our second day of vacation began with thick fog, so thick we couldn't see the beach from our house. It was also damp and dreary so we decided to spend the day in town. Our first stop was the Mustard Museum. Ray's Mustards is the only cold pressed mustard processing plant in the US and possibly the world. I personally am not a fan of mustard, but Christy was excited about all different flavors that were available.

By the time we left the mustard museum, the fog had lifted but it was still cloudy, so we went to the Eastport Library for Christy to check her emails on their wi-fi. The children's section of the library was a hit with the kids who were all too ready to settle in.



The following day was gorgeous and we fit a lot into it. Shackford Head State Park was close by with the promise of a nice hike through woods. But the area was infested with red fire ants, even the parking lot was covered with them. We started hiking on the trail but after one or two of us got bit by those pests, we decided to leave and try a different place.





We drove an hour to Cobscook Bay State Park - much better - no ants and beautiful views right on the water. We hiked about 1/2 mile through woods with the smell of balsam, coming out to the sea which then added the smell of salt water. We ate our lunch looking out on the water. Christy finished first and decided to hike over to another higher rocky area.



After she got over there, the rest of us decided to join her. What we didn't know until we were well on our way, was that the lower in-between section was deceptively wet. The mud sucked at our shoes and it was hard to get our footing. I was pretty nervous that I was going to lose my balance and fall, getting not only my shoes muddy but the rest of me, too. But Christian was helpful and gave me a hand. Once over there, we all had a good time watching the kids, what else? - throw rocks into the water! Of course, we did eventually have to cross back over. Christy had worn sandals, so her feet as well as her shoes were caked in mud!

We were grateful that the house we were staying in had a washer and dryer, so when we got back, everyone's shoes got thrown in and washed.

Our next stop was the Quoddy Head State Park. There was a picturesque light house with a visitor center and a lovely trail down to the beach where we had such fun playing on the rocks and getting some good pictures. 









One of the things that we all were amused by was the boast of the area as the "eastern most...in the U.S." Eastport is the eastern most city, Lubec is the eastern most town. We passed a sign for a campground that maintained it was the eastern most campground. In town, we stopped at the eastern most candy store. The kids had a lot of fun picking out tasty ways to spend their money.




On Friday of our first week, we stayed close to the house, playing games with the kids, reading and sitting on the beach. The kids kayaked and threw rocks in the water. In the evening we decided to check out Old Sow, supposedly the biggest whirlpool in the western hemisphere, caused by high tides. It was difficult to get a good view because of private homes on the shore.


"The shape of the Bay of Fundy between Nova Scotia and New Brunswick acts like a funnel. When ocean water flows through the mouth it gets funnelled to the far end of the bay where the water steadily rises as the bay narrows. The gravitational pull of the moon also affects these tides. The Bay of Fundy has one of the greatest range in the world between low tide and high tide -- up to 17 meters."  

This makes for interesting and unique phenomena in the area. Another of those is the Reversing Falls. Because of the significant rise and fall of the tides, the water goes in one direction going toward high tide, then reverses direction as it goes toward low tide. We got up early on Friday, August 18 so we could go witness when the tide changed. There are several places to watch this happen, but we went to a spot that was remote. When we got there, seals were diving and cavorting in the water, eagles were flying from tree to tree and calling to each other, and we saw several loons, as well. We were the only people at that location until a man and his dog joined us.


It was a fitting end to our time in Maine for the next day we continued north to Prince Edward Island. We had been hoping to stop along the way at the Hopewell Rocks on the Bay of Fundy but the weather did not cooperate. It was rainy and windy the whole day long. We were happy, though, that we were in the car and didn't lose out on beach time!

Christy had reserved another Airbnb house on Prince Edward Island and it was very nice, right on the beach with an unobstructed view of the ocean. The kids didn't waste any time in exploring the beach for critters and playing in the water.



We visited a couple of touristy places during the week, the Bottle houses, the Anne of Green Gables site and the potato museum.

Anne and Diana accommodated us by posing with us!

Lake of Shining Waters
Lover's Lane

White Sands Hotel
 

But other days we were happy just to stay put enjoying the water, sand and relaxing. Prince Edward Island is a magical place with its red sand, green grass and dazzlingly blue ocean and skies. The sunsets over the ocean were amazing.









All in all, it was a wonderful time away, and I am very grateful for the Lord's gifting me with family, time away, adventures and his beautiful creation.

I was concerned in how Andy would be affected by my being gone so long, but when I continued my visits this week, he didn't mention anything about it. He doesn't seem to have a concept of time, so this was another gift to me.