Amy, LBI, Another Puzzle and the Latest Book

We didn't just sit around at home this week. Monday was Amy's birthday and I had some gifts to take her, so we went up on Sunday after church and spent the afternoon with her and the family. I made a cake on Saturday that everyone enjoyed after our lunch together.

It was fun seeing them all and spending some time with them.  Can you believe it that our baby is now 34 years old?????

Isn't she beautiful?

Here is the evidence of some of the craziness:

 

Silly kids!

 

Traffic wasn't too bad on Sunday afternoon even on the expressway, although there were some pockets of "slinky traffic." That was Andy's term for the speeding up/slowing down phenomenon. 

Andy had been hinting that he wished we could take a vacation. But after explaining again why we can't go away, he was ok with my promise that we'd take day trips to the shore or other places close by. So when a friend last week invited us to visit them at their shore house, we decided to give it a go. Their place is on LBI so it was only an hour's drive from our house. It's been hot and humid here, but there was a sea breeze that day so it was a nice break to enjoy the outdoors and be a little cooler. We enjoyed lunch together, then went to the beach and sat on a bench at the top of the dunes, looking out at the ocean. 

Bob has a hard time walking, he's unsteady on his feet and his legs are shaky. So he walks with a walker or cane. He has been feeling depressed because he's slowing down and not able to do what he has all his life. I was amazed, though, by the way Andy interacted with Bob. He was engaged, asking questions about Bob's business and his family. The questions were perfectly normal and appropriate. He still has his pastor's heart. When we left, I felt like they really appreciated our spending the time with them.

I love looking at the ocean.

 

As much as we enjoyed the time, though, we were exhausted the rest of the week. We just can't seem to do even the simplest of excursions without it taking its toll.

I've been thinking of Andy and how it is around here. On the one hand, he is very forgetful, not even knowing what day it is. This morning (Sunday), after his shower, he put on a blue t-shirt and shorts. In fact, it's the same outfit he has on in the above picture! When I saw how he was dressed, I told him it was Sunday. He knew he needed to change into a nicer shirt and long pants. Later, when we sat down to have our morning coffee, he still hadn't changed. I asked him if he was going to change and he asked why. I reminded him that it was Sunday, and he said he didn't know it was. 

On the other hand, he is so sweet, kind, loving, good-natured and gentle. He's constantly concerned about the other person. In most cases, that's me. But at church, he's very much attuned to others, even when he's very tired. He was so tired this morning, he couldn't stand for all of the singing. But after the service, when people were talking to him, he interacted and talked to them as if everything was normal. Oh, sometimes, he goes off on a totally different direction from where the conversation was going. But in his mind, there is some connection. And everyone is so kind and loving to us. 

We worked on a very difficult puzzle for the last several weeks. With each one we do, we comment that this is the hardest one so far. But this one really was. We were able to do the white pieces, the clock, the man and outer edges fairly easily. But all the brown around the clock took twice as long as the whole rest of the puzzle.

But we finally finished it. And we're on to the next one now. I confess that I like doing the puzzles. I'm not sure Andy does, but he humors me by helping out sometimes. I think it's good for him to try and he does it because I ask him to.

Yesterday, Dawn stopped by with Kira and Kasey. We played with them for a little while over at the neighbor's house with the neighbor kids.

I finished a book this week loaned to me by a friend, Sensible Shoes. It's the story of the spiritual journey of four women. It was fiction, but not typical fiction because there was a lot of deep spiritual truth taught in a way that was engaging and riveting. I don't usually go for Christian fiction but this book was enjoyable and challenged me in my own spiritual journey. I highly recommend it.

Jesus Carries Me

Dear Angie,

A friend recently loaned my your book, I Will Carry You. About 2 years ago, my husband, Andy, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  Then a couple months later, the diagnosis of Parkinson's was added to the Alzheimer's. Needless to say, this was very difficult to deal with. Andy has been a pastor for many years, a Senior Pastor as well as Associate Pastor. God has blessed us with a loving, wonderful relationship with many good friends. Since Andy's diagnosis, our church has rallied around us, offered many prayers in our behalf, as well as helped us financially with a huge love offering.

When my friend loaned me your book, I think her purpose was to encourage me in my walk with the Lord in the trial we are facing right now. Your testimony of the Lord's grace, comfort, and presence during your pregnancy with Audrey and subsequent loss really blessed me and I cried many tears as I read your story. What my friend didn't know is that almost 40 years ago, Andy and I also had a child that died. Our situation was different than yours in that, we didn't know ahead of time that our child would not live. I felt movement from our baby even the day before I went into labor. Ultrasounds were not done that long ago, so there was no reason to suspect anything might be wrong. But even if there had been an ultrasound, I don't know that things would have turned out differently. I went into labor at 43 weeks. Yes, that's right, I was 3 weeks overdue. When we were in labor, the nurse tried to find the baby's heart beat, but was unable to detect it. I was hooked up to ekg and monitoring machines, but still no heartbeat. I was in labor for 24 hours and was told I would deliver a still born baby. The doctor wanted to give me an anesthetic so that I would be unconscious when the baby was born. He said it would be better if I didn't see the baby because it would be easier to bear if I never got attached. If I knew then what I know now, I would have insisted that I be allowed to see the baby. But I was young and inexperienced, and the whole thing caught us so off guard. The doctor seemed to think the baby may be starting to decompose and wouldn't be good to look at. However, after the delivery, he told us that the baby was perfect, with blond hair and blue eyes. He weighed in at 9 pounds, 5 ounces! The hospital took care of the burial but Andy and I never got to see our precious son or hold him. I still cry when I think about this. Things are different today. I think doctors, nurses and health care officials are much more sensitive to the need for connection to the life the mother has been carrying and preparing for.

There were a number of evidences of God's fingerprints involved over my reading of your book and my personal circumstance. Before reading your book, I had just finished Jesus Wept by Bruce Marchiano. He uses the story of Jesus with Mary, Martha and Lazarus to show how Jesus sympathizes and shares our sorrow. So your using the same example was another affirmation of the truth. 

I had never heard of you, but when I googled you to find out more about you, I discovered you were the wife of Todd Smith, lead singer in Selah. This was another little evidence of God orchestrating details because I had recently heard some of Selah's songs and even downloaded two of them. And then I saw you were also involved with the Women of Faith, so you have the potential for many opportunities to minister to hurting women.

I love the title you chose for your book because it's a beautiful picture of how God carries us, protects us, nurtures us, loves us lavishly even while we are so needy, inadequate and terribly flawed.

Thank you for your transparency and vulnerability in telling your story. It had to be very difficult, but I've found that even though life is hard, it's therapeutic to talk/blog/share about it and wrestle with the grace of God through it all. He is writing our story, and his desire in everything that he allows to touch us is that we become more like Jesus. Hard times also remind us that this is not our home, this is only a temporary stepping stone to our eternal home. Some day we will see our babies again and spend eternity with them and our dear Savior.

I pray that you would continue to grow in your walk with the Lord. God bless you.

 

A Sister in Christ...

In the Extremes

One of the things Andy and I really enjoyed about ministry is that there were always plenty of people we could have over to our house for a meal. Over the years, as I learned to cook, I surrounded myself with people who were good at it, learning from them, then practicing, practicing and practicing some more. As my girls got older, I even learned things from them. Christy was very good at throwing ingredients together and somehow they turned out tasty. Ask her for the recipe, though, and it was, "oh, a little of this and a little of that..." Very frustrating to a person who follows the recipe to a t. Then I learned how to make perfect cookies from Amy. Before she started experimenting with baking, I always burned cookies. They were rock hard and impossible to chew. But Amy knew when to take them out of the oven, so they were soft and chewy. 

But I digress...

Ever since Andy has been diagnosed, I have not had company. It was too stressful and I didn't want it to be hard on him. Would people stay too long? Would he have the stamina? And frankly, I didn't have the energy to organize and plan the menu, let alone host an evening with friends.

But lately, I've been feeling more like my old self. I use the term "old" loosely, you understand - meaning more like my "former" self. :) When our friends from Colorado were here, I just had to have them over for dinner since it had been so long since we'd seen them. That actually went well, with Andy even manning the grill. I kept the menu simple and we had a wonderful evening.

With that success under my belt, I've kind of gone crazy this past week with 3 dinners with friends. On Monday, we invited Beth, our upstairs apartment friend, to join us. On Tuesday, we invited Andy's mom and dad to dinner. Then this afternoon after church, our friends, Rich and Bev joined us for dinner. Rich had been Andy's biking buddy, doing many long bike trips. Bev and I were friends, too. Over the years, they had been in our small group. Then several years in a row, Rich and Andy had ridden their bikes to the shore on a fall day, while Bev and I drove down to pick them up. So we have a lot of years of friendship together. 

I kept the menu simple each time. For Beth, I fixed a delicious spinach basil pasta salad I found on allrecipes.com. I am not linking it, because when I looked for it yesterday, it was replaced with a different version of the one I use.  Here is the recipe I use and it is very tasty:

Spinach Basil Pasta Salad

Submitted By: _jennifer Photo By: nxtchieframsey Prep Time: 45 Minutes Cook Time: 15 Minutes Ready In:  45 Minutes Servings: 10

"Garlic is quickly fried then tossed with spinach and basil leaves for a great summertime salad."

Ingredients:

1 (16 ounce) package bow tie pasta 1 (6 ounce) package spinach leaves 2 cups fresh basil leaves 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil 3 cloves garlic, minced

4 slices bacon, chopped salt and ground black pepper to taste 3/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese 1/2 cup toasted pine nuts

Directions:

1.	Fill a large pot with lightly salted water and bring to a rolling boil over high heat. Once the water is boiling, stir in the bow tie pasta and return to a boil. Cook the pasta uncovered, stirring occasionally, until the pasta has cooked through, but is still firm to the bite, about 12 minutes. Rinse with cold water to cool. Drain well in a colander set in the sink.
2.	Toss the spinach and basil together in a large bowl.
3.	Heat the olive oil in a skillet over medium heat; cook and stir the garlic in the hot oil for 1 minute. Remove from heat. Add to the bowl with the spinach and basil mixture; add bacon; toss to combine. Pour in the drained pasta and retoss. Season with salt and pepper. Sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese and pine nuts to serve.

For mom and dad and again today, for Rich and Bev, I made chicken on the grill, with a tomato zucchini dish and Caesar's salad. I marinated the chicken last night and also made up the tomato zucchini dish yesterday afternoon, then popped it in the oven when we got home from church this morning.

The zucchini and tomatoes were given to me by my gardener neighbor, who not only loves to garden, but also loves to be generous with her veggies.

I posted this recipe on my blog last year, but it is so good, it bears repeating!

It's interesting to me that it always takes me a lot longer to assemble the dish than what the recipe indicates. For instance, this one says prep time is 20 minutes, but it actually takes me 40 minutes.

Tomato Zucchini Casserole

Submitted By: DELTAQUEEN50 Photo By: khershey Prep Time: 20 Minutes Cook Time: 55 Minutes Ready In: 1 Hour 15 Minutes Servings: 4

"A simple vegetable dish that highlights the summer flavors of fresh tomatoes and zucchini. It goes great with grilled meats or poultry."

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups grated Cheddar cheese 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano 1/2 teaspoon dried basil 2 cloves garlic, minced salt and pepper to taste

2 medium zucchinis, thinly sliced 5 plum tomatoes, thinly sliced 1/4 cup butter 2 tablespoons finely chopped onion 3/4 cup fine bread crumbs

Directions:

1.	Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Lightly butter a 9x9-inch pan.
2.	In a large bowl, combine Cheddar, Parmesan, oregano, basil, and garlic. Season with salt and pepper, and set aside.
3.	Arrange half of the zucchini slices in the pan. Sprinkle 1/4 of the cheese and herb mixture on top. Arrange half of the tomatoes, and top with another 1/4 of the cheese mixture. Repeat layers.
4.	Melt butter in a skillet over medium heat. Stir in onions, and cook until soft and translucent. Stir in breadcrumbs; cook until they have absorbed the butter. Sprinkle on top of casserole.
5.	Cover loosely with foil, and bake in a preheated oven for 25 minutes. Remove foil, and bake until the top is crusty and the vegetables are tender, about 20 minutes.

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED © 2014 Allrecipes.com

Printed from Allrecipes.com 7/31/2014

As much as we enjoy hosting friends for dinner, I'm not sure it's something we should do a lot of. It really wears Andy out, he has to nap when they leave. So maybe it's better to use a little moderation and spread out our company, rather than having so many in one week.

Speaking of extremes, this week in staff meeting, I was asked how I was doing. I answered that I was doing pretty well in spite of Andy not really getting any better. I said I was enjoying the peace of God which really does pass all understanding. This was really and truly how I felt. Then later in the meeting, everyone was encouraged to share what energized them as they looked to the fall and the start up of a new year of ministry. I wasn't going to share until Pastor asked me point blank. Then I fell apart and my over active tear ducts starting doing what they do so well! I said I had no energy, I was so lacking in energy, it was all I could do to get up in the morning and go to work 4 days a week. Nothing like putting a wet blanket on heart felt sharing. 

Well, such is the way things are right now. One minute I'm up, then next minute I'm down. But the amazing truth is that God is with me in both places: the ups and the downs.

I've recently taken The Valley of Vision off the shelf. 

 
This is a book of a collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions. I love the depth of thought that these men and women of God expressed but frankly, some of the language is archaic and difficult to understand. So I have decided to go through the book and rewrite the prayers in language that is meaningful for me. This is quite an undertaking because the book is 223 pages long. Well, maybe I won't do all of them!

I really like the introduction to the book because it is so descriptive of the way things are.

Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly, 
You have brought me to the valley of vision, 
where I live in the depths but see you in the heights;
hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold your glory.

Let me learn by paradox
that the way down is the way up,
that to be low is to be high,
that the broken heart is the healed heart,
that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,
that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,
that to have nothing is to possess all,
that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,
that to give is to receive,
that the valley is the place of vision...

Let me find your light in my darkness,
your life in my death,
your joy in my sorrow,
your grace in my sin,
your riches in my poverty,
your glory in my valley.

Don't we just love to be on the mountain top???

But God has promised to be with us even in the valley of the shadow of death. And I like how the puritans put it..."I live in the depths but see YOU in the heights."