February Weather

You never can tell what the weather is going to be like in south Jersey in February. It could be mild, then again it could be arctic-like. We had a little of both this week which is certainly not boring!

We didn't go out on Tuesday because the weather was not very inviting for being outside. Also, we had an appointment with a home health agency where a nurse came to our home to fill out reams of paperwork on us. 

A number of months ago, our daughters encouraged me to take a break from caring for Andy all the time, so I looked into getting some help. I contacted this agency, not really knowing anything about them except their name. I thought it would be good to have a professional agency come out for the first time so I could learn how they do things and see how it would go. A couple of weeks ago, a representative came out to do a free in home consultation. That went well and Andy and I were both pleased. Then we were told that a nurse would come out right before I went away to meet us and get instructions on what I needed her to do while I was away. I was under the assumption that she would be the one who would be coming to stay with Andy, make sure he took his medications at the proper time, ate at meal time, drank lots of water, did his exercises, etc. 

But as we talked with the nurse and I told her what I needed, she informed me that she would not be the one to come out. It would be an aide. And the aide was not allowed to dispense medications. I immediately got a sinking feeling. So why am I paying all this money for someone to come out and they can't even do what I need?

We continued talking and filling out paperwork, but after she left, I really struggled with my emotions. How could I go away and be confident that Andy was going to be ok?

I texted a nurse friend and asked her to call me. I thought she might have some positive input to give me. She didn't answer.

I was surprised that I was able to get to sleep that night. That was a gift of grace since I can get pretty worked up and then toss and turn all night. 

The next morning I was in the middle of another text to my friend, when I got a reply from her. She was able to give me good input and advice on how to take care of the situation and by the end of an hour or so, following her suggestions, I was feeling so much better and relieved. 

In hind sight, I can see how the Lord was working his little indications that he was taking care of me and the situation. You would think that with all the experience I've had with the Lord that I would be perfectly at ease in every situation by this stage of my life. Apparently, I still have a long way to go!

At one point a number of months ago, I read in one of Paul Tripp's books that it's an evidence of the grace of God in our lives when he allows us to experience trials and sufferings. I admit I had a hard time understanding that. But I think as I continue to go through this experience, I can see God's grace displayed in the way he provides and cares for my comfort, encouragement, enablement, joy, and even happiness in this difficult place. 

So yesterday morning, my nurse friend, P and her husband, J came over to meet with us. J is going to spend the night with Andy while I'm away next weekend. Not only that, he came with a pad and pen to make a list of handyman jobs I needed to have done. He wants to be a help not only in being a companion to Andy but also to do anything that might need to be done around the house. Is that the grace of God at work? I definitely think so. I was so encouraged and feel at peace with their determination to help me not worry while I'm gone.

After they left, I decided I needed to get out in nature. It was a lovely day with brilliant blue skies, although it was cold. That's ok, though. That just means you dress the part. We went to Long Bridge Park and hiked the orange trail through the woods, then onto the blue trail that goes by the Rancocas Creek.

C.S. Lewis wrote: "Any patch of sunlight in a wood will show you something about the sun which you could never get from reading books on astronomy. These pure and spontaneous pleasures are 'patches of Godlight' in the woods of our experience."

It was cold but invigorating. Everything is always ok as long as the sun is shining!

We went to church this morning. When we got home, Tommy, Kira and Kasey were in the driveway waiting for us. Tommy had come over to clean our gutters. I did not get a picture of him up on the roof, but someday I will. I can't tell you how much I appreciate him doing that job. We have so many beautiful, established trees around the house which add shade and make me happy! But they do create a lot of work in maintenance: millions of leaves in the fall, and constant dropping of dead branches and twigs. So while Tommy worked, Andy and I played with the girls.

 

 

A visit to our house includes going over to visit the neighbor's chickens. With us being out there, the roosters are constantly crowing. They have to protect their hens, of course. But with them making all that noise, the girls feel they need to go over to see them. Kasey really wanted to hold one.

It takes great concentration to hold a chicken.

Tommy was rewarded for his efforts with an omelet and lots of waffles - his request.

What a beautiful day it was today. The sun was shining brightly again, but the temperature was a lot warmer. It felt like spring. By mid afternoon, it was up to 63 degrees. So of course, we couldn't stay indoors and off we went again. This time, it was back to Mt. Laurel State Park. 

It seems like Andy is not up to long hikes any more. But he can still handle 30 - 40 minutes. Mt. Laurel State Park has an amazing maze of trails. It's perfect for small, short hiking. I confess, though, that the climb up the hill is strenuous for me. I'm so much more acclimated to hiking on level ground! 

I finished reading Randy Alcorn's Happiness. It's amazing that as I've read about the happiness of God in his book, the same thought was reinforced by J.I. Packer in Your Father Loves You. In Happiness, Alcorn quotes Jonathan Edwards who believed in "temperance with what's secondary but not what's primary. God is primary. We can't get too much of God; therefore, we can't be too happy in God." Then he goes on to ask: "What does my suffering do for me? It makes me see how implausible it is that I can find true happiness outside of God. When what I once leaned on for happiness crumbles to dust, the way is cleared for me to see that God still stands and is the one solid foundation on which to build my life and happiness. When we meet Jesus face to face, behold his nail scarred hands reaching out to us, see the look in his eyes when he says, 'Enter into your Master's happiness,' we will gain a new perspective on this life: the benefits of following Jesus always far outweighed the costs - each and every time."

Then J.I. Packer in the September 7th reading says: "By giving his love to us, God has voluntarily bound up his own final happiness with ours. He has in effect resolved that henceforth for all eternity his happiness shall be conditional on ours. Thus God saves not only for his glory but also for his gladness!"

It's an amazing thought to think about: how happy we'll be forever in heaven. Now our happiness is incomplete because we still suffer, but then it will be eternal and complete in the presence of Jesus. O Happy Day!

Loving Creation loves the Creator!

It had been awhile since we'd been able to enjoy the outdoors. Tuesday was a rainy day, and not just rain or drizzle, but RAIN with wind driving the rain sideways. It was miserable. In the morning, Dawn had a doctor's appointment so I went with her to hold the baby and take care of Kasey while she was in with the doctor. Cole is amazing - what a cool, calm baby. He was awake the whole time I held him but was content to just look around and not make a peep. 
  

So after such a long time of being indoors, we took the opportunity on Friday afternoon to get out. It was unbelieveably cold - only 39 degrees with a chilly breeze. But it was so good to get the nature therapy. 

I read Spurgeon's comments on nature and resonated with his statements:  "I like to see my Savior on the hills and by the shores of the sea! I hear my Father's voice in the thunder and listen to the whispers of his love in the cadence of the sunlit waves. These are my Father's works and therefore, I admire them and I seem all the nearer to him when I am among them."

I love the ocean, too, but the woods affect me the same way. Even in the winter, there are many colors and interesting things to take note of: trees tall and majestic or twisted in pleasing and unusual shapes, bird calls, bushes and foliage, and of course, ponds or water of any kind.

Loving creation is loving the Creator!

We went to Black Run Preserve and walked in the woods, an estimated 2 miles.

More of Spurgeon: "Surely everything that comes from the hand of such a Master Artist as God has something of himself in it. The Lord rejoices in his works and shall not his people do so?"

Because of unfit weather, we had been working on another puzzle. It was an extremely difficult one with a lot of black and brown pieces. We got all the pieces in except for the black, when it was obvious that there were about 12 pieces missing. Ugh! Typically, I don't give up on seemingly impossible tasks like this. I just have to gut it out, see it through to the bitter end. But in this case, when I realized there were so many pieces missing, I confess I gathered up the puzzle and threw it in the trash.

Just look at all those black pieces, looking exactly alike. Puzzles are supposed to be brain training and a challenge, but they just produce stress when there are pieces missing. So I'm not even going to feel guilty for junking that one!

What a contrast the weather was on Saturday. The temperature got up to 60 degrees. It was somewhat cloudy, but very mild and warm. So off we went again, this time to Rancocas State Park. There was one part of the trail we hadn't been on, so we took that one. We didn't stay very long, though, because we were both tired.

Ecclesiastes 11:7 - "Light is sweet, and it is pleasant for the eyes to behold the sun. For if a man lives many years, let him rejoice in them all." 

"We can and should rejoice as we live the life God gives us. There is color, light, warmth and beauty in God's world. There are people who say and do kind things. Life brings many delightful moments." (Your Father Loves You by J.I. Packer, August 21 reading)

Speaking of kind things that people do...someone anonymously left Valentine's balloons at our door last Saturday night with an encouraging note. And someone else gave us $75 in Shop Rite gift cards. Delightful moments indeed. Reminders that God is caring for us.

Andy's confusion and memory loss continues. One evening this past week, he came out of the living room, looked at me and asked where Phyllis was. I raised my hand, then he said, "oh, upstairs?" I had to tell him I was Phyllis. These kinds of conversations are occurring constantly. He is even confused in our own house. He asks me where the bathroom is, if there's someone else in the house, who my parents are, etc. Last night, he told me he wanted me to go get Phyllis and bring her back to the house. Sigh!

It's harder for me to think of things to help occupy him. This afternoon we went out and did some yard work together. As long as I am with him, he does ok. But I do have to keep my eye on him! It was nice and warm again, so pleasant to be outside. 

A couple of weeks ago, I made up a list of jobs I wanted to get done around the house and yard. Yesterday Andy helped me move furniture away from the walls as I dusted the baseboards. That was very helpful of him, even though I had to give him directions on how I wanted him to move it. He still has the muscle I don't!

This afternoon I was looking for something when I decided I needed to organize the "kids' drawer" with the crayons and coloring books. As I was sorting through papers, I found a group of cards that had been made by the Lindsays for Andy's birthday several years ago. That was such a fun memory to look at them again.

 Each had been lovingly hand made by the children and C & C (Claire hadn't been born yet). The funniest was a poem created for Andy:
   Who's so handy,
   Can sing so grandly?
   Who thinks his wife's as sweet as candy?
   Whose grandkids are so dandy?
   Who's glad his name's not Randy?
   You guessed it! It's Andy!

From Naomi:
Dear Pop-pop,
Thank you for being nice because you love us. Thank you for wrestling with us and going on vacation with us. Thank you for letting us sleep in your house...Love Naomi


From Grace:
To all the people who like to fix things because they might have to fix this card.
Dear Poppop. Happy birthday! This pop-up card is for you ...I hope you enjoyed it. (She had glued a little spring inside the card that was supposed to pop up when he opened it!)

What sweet memories! Yes, even in our difficult circumstances, God still floods our lives with happiness and joy. 

"The joy of the Lord is my strength." Nehemiah 8:10  

My Birthday Celebration

I am still reading Happiness, maybe halfway through. I am really enjoying reading and thinking on this subject. Of course, after posting last Sunday about how we can be happy and suffering at the same time, I hit bottom on Monday. But as the week went on, God graciously continued to minister to me, picking me up and encouraging me in my walk with him. 

My journal entries for the week:

February 7
The book of Psalms is an instruction manual for living a truly happy life. "Blessed" means "happy." Jonathan Edwards on Matthew 5:8 says, "Blessed (happy) are the pure in heart for they shall see God." It is a thing truly happifying to the soul of man to see God." I love that word: happifying!
William Barclay said, "The beatitudes say in effect, 'O the bliss of being a Christian!...O the sheer happiness of knowing Jesus Christ as Master, Savior and Lord! The very form of the beatitudes is the statement of the joyous thrill and the radiant gladness of the Christian life. In light of the beatitudes, a gloom-encompassed Christianity is unthinkable." 

February 8
God is the author of all true happiness, the donor of all true happiness, the maintainer of all true happiness and the center of all true happiness...therefore, he who has God for his portion is the only happy man in the world. (Thomas Brooks quoted in Happiness)

 February 9
Looking forward to future happiness brings us present joy...God's people experience delight when they celebrate him and his gifts.
Psalm 94:19 - "When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul."

February 11
Solzhenitsyn in Cancer Ward: "Happiness in suffering often comes as an infusion of grace in our hearts, a gift from the God of happiness. Suffering by its nature is never easy, but no one has greater joy than those who know Christ and believe his promise that present suffering will be followed with eternal glory and happiness."

February 12
Karl Barth: "Joy and grace are virtually inseparable. To be joyful is to expect that life will reveal itself as God's gift of grace...to be joyful means to look out for opportunities for gratitude." There's no greater reason for our happiness than God's grace.

Then I was reviewing the Beatitudes and had to stop when I got to "Blessed are those who mourn." If you substitute the word "happy" for "blessed", you have: "Happy are those who mourn." That seems so contradictory. But the rest of the verse explains how we are happy when we mourn, "for they will be comforted." I was reminded of 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 where we are told that God is the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." Ah yes, he is the God of all comfort. And I have experienced his wonderful comfort when I mourn. 

There are so many verses that demonstrate God's comfort and care:
Psalm 145:14 - "The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down."
Psalm 145:18 - "The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth."
Psalm 116:1 - "I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy."

Really all of Psalm 116 is rich with God's care as we struggle with life and death issues. 

These verses just scratch the surface of God's comfort in our troubles. And of course, we have the example of Jesus in his own suffering who endured without complaining, and advocates our case to the Father, interceding for us and administering grace to help in our time of need.

By mid-week, Andy was starting to seem a little more alert and with it. I started quizzing him every morning. "Do you know who I am today?" He almost always answered with my name. Then I would ask him how I was related to him. One morning he said he thought I was his second cousin. I'm not sure if he was teasing or serious, and I didn't probe on that one. On Friday as we were driving to work, he asked me if we were going to go get Phyllis. I wasn't quite sure what to answer. At first I said no, I'm not...then I followed it up with admitting that I was Phyllis. 

Yesterday was my birthday, so I'm now another year older. I can't believe how old I am, (although don't expect me to admit just how old on the internet!). It was a wonderful day with all our kids and all eleven grandkids coming to our house for lunch. What a blessing that we all enjoy being together. The cousins have fun playing together and the adults enjoy conversation.

Of course, Cole was the main attraction. Everyone had turns holding him.

The youngest & the oldest

Kasey wanted me to hold her and it was an honor. But she is heavy and after a while, my hip was getting sore. So I turned her around in order to hold her with both arms. She wasn't sure about that position. Don't you just love that face???

It's quiet again at our house today. We just stayed home and rested...it was way too cold to go outside. I think the high was only about 21 degrees. When I looked at the thermometer early this morning it was not quite 7 degrees. Now that is COLD. 

Being with family yesterday filled up my tank and I'm ready for another week. Bring it on!

Happiness

Isn't it amazing how you can be sad and happy at the same time? I don't know that I ever really thought much about that until reading Happiness by Randy Alcorn. I'm not finished with it yet, but so far, I'm being challenged by what he has written. 
 

 

I love everything Randy Alcorn writes, not only because Andy went to the same seminary Randy did, a year or two behind him; but also because he is so scholarly in his writing. You can tell he researches thoroughly and painstakingly on his subject. He quotes extensively from church fathers, Puritans, and other esteemed scholars and theologians. 

I was very saddened this morning by a conversation Andy and I had. We sat in the kitchen with our morning coffee, and he opened the conversation by asking me who my boss was. 

I looked at him questioningly, and asked him why he wanted to know. He said that if he was going to have a relationship with me, he felt he needed to get to know my boss and make sure it was all right with him. I told him my boss didn't need to know, that we were already married. Then he said things like: "we are?" "When did that happen?" I told him, "42 years ago." He said he didn't remember that. Then he repeated about needing to talk to my boss. His confusion was complete. Somehow he thought he had received an email (he doesn't do emails any more) from someone who was concerned about me and what I was getting involved in. Andy said he thought that was good that someone was looking out for me...and the conversation kept getting weirder and weirder. I tried patiently to explain the truth to him: that we were married and had been for 42 years. Then he asked me if we had children. I told him yes, we have 3 daughters. I asked him if he knew who they were and he said, "Ricky, no Amy." But that's the only one he could remember. I reminded him of all three names, then something must have clicked because he was himself again. He asked what was wrong with him. I explained that he had Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and how those diseases affect memory. Then he actually broke down and cried. I had never seen that before. He's been somewhat flat-line. I encouraged him that it was good to cry. 

He is more and more, though, confusing me for someone else. I'm not sure he always knows that I'm his wife. He talks to me about me! On one of our excursions, he asked me what my first job had been. I told him I had been a key punch operator. Then he said, Oh, that's really interesting. That's why my wife did when we were dating."

And there are too many incidences like this to remember all the details of every conversation. 

As sad as this is, we still have many instances of happiness. On Monday morning, our eleventh grandchild was born to Dawn & Tommy. The delivery was a little nerve wracking, but that passed, and we were delighted to be able to go visit and hold that precious little boy.

We stopped at the hospital Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to see Dawn and Cole. What a little sweetie and how much joy a new born brings. We didn't witness Kira's and Kasey's reaction to their brother, but Dawn sent me the cutest picture of the three of them.

The week before Dawn had Cole, she was at our house sitting at our kitchen table. With her being great with child, the extra weight must have added some stress to the chair on which she was sitting. She mentioned that it didn't feel very secure and that I should get new ones. So when my kids tell me to do something, I obey!

We had the new chairs delivered on Tuesday and they not only look good, they feel very sturdy. I think they also look a lot better with our kitchen decor.

The old

The new

Another thing that brings happiness to my heart is being out in nature. It seems like Andy and I can enjoy that together even if our conversations aren't very meaningful any more (at least to me, they aren't). For the last week or so, we hadn't been able to get out because of the mounds of snow. But the weather has been fairly mild since the storm, and I thought the trails might be relatively clear by now. So yesterday we conquered Mount Laurel - that's right - all 56 feet of it! Now that's my kind of mountain climbing!

I didn't realize how many trails there are in this park, and it's actually a state park! There's a tower at the top, although it's off limits to hikers. There was still a little snow in spots, but there were lots of trails to explore. 

Mr. Alcorn points out how happy God is with verses that state how he rejoiced over His creation, how Jesus, "for the JOY set before him, endured the cross." Of course, God grieves over the horrible things that go on here on earth, including our own pain, but at the same time, he is a happy God. He is always working for the good of those who love him, and he knows that in the end, the story will be "happily ever after!" 

Revelation 21:1-5
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.' He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!' Then he said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'"

Asher's Birthday

One of the things that grief teaches us is that time does not heal all wounds. "God is the source of healing, but God isn't a magic wand." (From Grieving with Hope by Samuel J. Hodges and Kathy Leonard) This past week was the 40th anniversary of our little boy's birth. In one sense, it seems like ages ago and no, the pain isn't as raw as when he was still born. But on the other hand, I still tear up when I think about that experience. It was a devastating loss. 

Another thing I've learned is that God uses suffering for good. I just finished reading the Genesis account of Joseph, who after his father died and his brothers came to him in fear to offer themselves as his slaves because of their treatment of him, actually wept as he explained to them how God used his experience to save many people. God used it for good. Romans 8:28 tells us that the good God speaks of is us becoming more like Christ. 

Sometimes I feel like I have a lot to learn. I still have many rough edges to be filed off. But I was encouraged this week as I met with a friend on Saturday morning. She thought I was looking good...like I seemed at peace. And I do feel that way. I think a big difference in turning the corner for me was my acceptance and surrender to God's plan for me. This is really one of the keys to getting through grief - surrender. Holding on tight to my plans and dreams and expectations of how life should be only makes the grief so much harder to heal from. Allowing God to write my story, trusting him to bring good out of every situation, surrendering to his plan - is the only way to find peace.

The peace I've been experiencing has motivated me to be more active in the kitchen. I've enjoyed Chick-Fil-A's avocado lime ranch dressing for their salads but can't find it in any grocery store. So I googled it and found a recipe. I bought the ingredients and voila!!!

 

It passed the taste test. It has a little kick to it with a serrano pepper as one of the ingredients. I wasn't sure I would like that, but it is very tasty.

Then I also made two strawberry pies to take with us today to celebrate Asher's birthday. 
 

Andy and I went to C & C's church today. Christy and Grace played the offertory and did a fantastic job on one of my favorite hymns: Oh, the Deep Deep Love of Jesus.  I was sitting there listening, praising God for the beautiful music, the meaningful words to that song, as well as thanking God that all the money we spent on piano lessons was not wasted!

I would have loved to have recorded them but thought that might be kind of tacky holding up a cell phone in church (even if I am the proud mother and grandmother!).

After church, we went to their house for lunch and pie and giving presents to the birthday boy. He was very happy with everything he got. In fact he was so happy with his presents, he forgot to eat his pie.

Andy seems to be doing better in the car. He's making the effort not to say anything about my driving and I'm making the effort to not drive too fast. (I'm only going 2 miles over the speed limit instead of --------!)

Then at one point, after we went through a toll booth, Andy asked me if I was getting reimbursed for my travel expenses. I said no, but I budget for it and we would be ok. He obviously was trying to process that information, because later he took his wallet out and got out some money to hand it to me. I asked him what he was doing and he said he wanted to help me. Oh boy. It made me wonder if he thought I was someone else providing a ride for him and he needed to reimburse me. 

He's been talking to me in the third person at times. One day this week, he told me he wanted to ask Phyllis to drive him over for a hair cut. Then another day, my phone rang while I was in another room. He answered it, then brought it to me and told me it was for Phyllis.

Well, we have a lot of birthdays coming up. This is a busy time in our family. Asher's birthday is today. Tomorrow, Baby Boy Sherf will be born. Then Dawn's birthday is Wednesday, Kasey's is next Monday, Christy's is the 11th and mine is the 13th. 

Let the fun begin!

Snow Storm of the Century

Since we're not that far into the century, it might be premature to say this was the snow storm of the century. But Dawn told me this morning that this ranks as one of the top 5 most severe snow storms in recorded history. Interesting little tidbit of info, right?

Tommy came over Friday night to get the snow blower out of the shed and prepare for Saturday's snow. It's a good thing he did because as he was looking it over, he discovered it needed a little fixing up. I'm not sure what that was, but I was helpful in holding it while he did the work.

Then while he did a little more prep work, Dawn and the girls came inside where it was warm.

 That's a lap-full!

Saturday was one long day of snow, snow, snow. Tommy and his father-in-law came over and with 2 snow blowers went to work. 

The snow was already deep and they worked really hard till they got it done. Then off they went to do someone else's place.

Being in the house all day, I needed something to do so kept the oven going making 2 batches of cookies. It helped to keep the house warm and cozy - and provided comfort food as well as payment to a certain son-in-law who worked so hard.

 

Later, toward evening, they came back to make another pass. That time didn't take as long and Kira came along to play with Andy and me while her daddy was working.

Sheriff Kira, with Pop-pop the prisoner!

The storm finally left our area, but not before dumping over 20 inches of snow. Today, the sun was brilliant and the skies were amazingly blue. It was a glorious day. Tommy and family came over again this morning. Tommy wanted to make one last pass with the snow blower. I'm glad he did come over because the driveway at the street was blocked with large ice/snow boulders from the snow plows. He had to shovel that clear before getting to work on the rest of the driveway. Dawn and the girls came in the house to have some coffee and together time with us while Tommy did the work.

She loves taking selfies!

Hmmm...what kind of fun things are in Grammy's purse?

 

What a difference today is - how beautiful that snow is. 

I'm so thankful for our family and I was struck with the concept of how God values family, too, when I read in Your Father Loves You (J.I. Packer) his devotional for March 22. (I know we're still in January, but I read ahead, ok?!)

Packer was commenting on Romans 8:28-29 on the phrase that God foreknew us. He said that in this verse, "foreknew" really means "foreloved." He continues by explaining: "Often in Scripture, knowing includes the idea of affection, as when a husband knows his wife or a friends knows a friend. God, then foreloved us and predestined us to be conformed to Jesus."

"To the question, 'What did God want out of this world with its sin, fallenness, and confusion?' one true answer is, 'He wanted an extended family.' He has one Son, we might say, and wanted more. Of course there are differences between Jesus and the rest of God's sons and daughters. Jesus is the eternal Son of God by nature while we are God's children through Jesus by adoption and grace. Nevertheless, the glorious truth about redemption is that God wanted to extend his family and have many, many people with him for all eternity bearing the family likeness: 'a great multitude which no man could number, from every nation, from all tribes and peoples and tongues' (Rev. 7:9). That was why he sent his Son to die for us and now sends his Spirit to call us to faith, keep us in faith, and renew us in Jesus' image."

In meditating on this concept, I couldn't help but think that any time a daughter announces she's going to have another baby, what joy and celebration we feel at the thought of another little person joining our family. I think I would be happy if we had 100 grandchildren. Just keep having babies, girls! Each child is precious, unique and special. 

I don't know that I ever thought about the fact that God feels the same about adding people to his family. Maybe having our own children and grandchildren helps in understanding that feeling. I love having our whole clan at our house, sitting around our table, being together. It's a beautiful picture of our fellowship in the family of God in heaven around his table one day.

Looking at this picture fills me with delight. And consider this verse in Zephaniah 3:17:
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

It was nice to have the snow storm to give our minds a break from the routine.

Earlier in the week, we had an appointment with a representative from a home health aide agency. She came to the house to assess our situation. Andy and I both really liked her and are excited about the chance I will have in another 6 weeks to get away for 2 days, leaving Andy at home. It was a good visit and we worked out some details of how things will be taken care of while I'm gone. 

Her visit, though, added to Andy's confusion. After she left, he kept thinking I was the care giver. After dinner that evening, he asked me if I liked to cook. I said I did. Then he asked another question that revealed he didn't know he was talking to me. (So many confusing conversations take place, it's hard to remember every detail.) Later that evening, I came out of the bedroom with my robe on, dressed for bed. At that point, he asked me if I was going to spend the night. I told him I was. Then he asked if I was sure I didn't want to go home. I told him I was home. He looked confused so I told him I was his wife. At that point, he buried his face in his hands and said he was so embarrassed. Poor guy!

Since then, he keeps asking when I'm going away, and how long I'll be gone, and when I'll be back, and what I'll be doing, and who I'll be going with. I keep giving him the details as he asks. Sometimes, he realizes he's heard the answer before, other times, it's new information. I'm happy to say that I think the Lord is giving me the patience I've been asking him for. How good he is to me.


On Wednesday morning, I took Andy to his neuropsychologist because the dentist recommended it after the trauma of last week. He continued to be so confused. It seemed like his disease was progressing rapidly. So the doctor made note of everything I related to him, was empathetic and encouraging, but what else could he do? The disease is progressive and Andy will never get better. 

During the doctor visit, Andy was asked if he knew what year it was. Andy answered it was, "2007." Then the doctor asked him if he knew what month it was. Andy said no. Then when the doctor asked what season we were in, he gave him multiple choice: "summer, spring, fall or winter?" Andy got that one right!

And there again, I read in Your Father Loves You, in the March 20th reading, a beautiful truth about the grace of God. "Grace is God drawing sinners closer and closer to him. How does God in grace prosecute this purpose? Not by shielding us from assault by the world, the flesh and the devil, nor by protecting us from burdensome and frustrating circumstances, nor yet by shielding us from troubles created by our own temperament and psychology, but rather by exposing us to all these things, so as to overwhelm us with a sense of our own inadequacy, and to drive us to cling to him more closely. This is the ultimate reason, from our standpoint, why God fills our lives with troubles and perplexities of one sort and another - it is to ensure that we shall learn to hold him fast."

And we have this assurance, that the troubles in this life are momentary in comparison to the glory of all eternity stretching out ahead. One day we shall see our Lord and Savior face to face, and the things of this earth will grow strangely dim. Oh glorious day!