We didn't go out on Tuesday because the weather was not very inviting for being outside. Also, we had an appointment with a home health agency where a nurse came to our home to fill out reams of paperwork on us.
A number of months ago, our daughters encouraged me to take a break from caring for Andy all the time, so I looked into getting some help. I contacted this agency, not really knowing anything about them except their name. I thought it would be good to have a professional agency come out for the first time so I could learn how they do things and see how it would go. A couple of weeks ago, a representative came out to do a free in home consultation. That went well and Andy and I were both pleased. Then we were told that a nurse would come out right before I went away to meet us and get instructions on what I needed her to do while I was away. I was under the assumption that she would be the one who would be coming to stay with Andy, make sure he took his medications at the proper time, ate at meal time, drank lots of water, did his exercises, etc.
But as we talked with the nurse and I told her what I needed, she informed me that she would not be the one to come out. It would be an aide. And the aide was not allowed to dispense medications. I immediately got a sinking feeling. So why am I paying all this money for someone to come out and they can't even do what I need?
We continued talking and filling out paperwork, but after she left, I really struggled with my emotions. How could I go away and be confident that Andy was going to be ok?
I texted a nurse friend and asked her to call me. I thought she might have some positive input to give me. She didn't answer.
I was surprised that I was able to get to sleep that night. That was a gift of grace since I can get pretty worked up and then toss and turn all night.
The next morning I was in the middle of another text to my friend, when I got a reply from her. She was able to give me good input and advice on how to take care of the situation and by the end of an hour or so, following her suggestions, I was feeling so much better and relieved.
In hind sight, I can see how the Lord was working his little indications that he was taking care of me and the situation. You would think that with all the experience I've had with the Lord that I would be perfectly at ease in every situation by this stage of my life. Apparently, I still have a long way to go!
At one point a number of months ago, I read in one of Paul Tripp's books that it's an evidence of the grace of God in our lives when he allows us to experience trials and sufferings. I admit I had a hard time understanding that. But I think as I continue to go through this experience, I can see God's grace displayed in the way he provides and cares for my comfort, encouragement, enablement, joy, and even happiness in this difficult place.
So yesterday morning, my nurse friend, P and her husband, J came over to meet with us. J is going to spend the night with Andy while I'm away next weekend. Not only that, he came with a pad and pen to make a list of handyman jobs I needed to have done. He wants to be a help not only in being a companion to Andy but also to do anything that might need to be done around the house. Is that the grace of God at work? I definitely think so. I was so encouraged and feel at peace with their determination to help me not worry while I'm gone.
After they left, I decided I needed to get out in nature. It was a lovely day with brilliant blue skies, although it was cold. That's ok, though. That just means you dress the part. We went to Long Bridge Park and hiked the orange trail through the woods, then onto the blue trail that goes by the Rancocas Creek.
C.S. Lewis wrote: "Any patch of sunlight in a wood will show you something about the sun which you could never get from reading books on astronomy. These pure and spontaneous pleasures are 'patches of Godlight' in the woods of our experience."
It was cold but invigorating. Everything is always ok as long as the sun is shining!
We went to church this morning. When we got home, Tommy, Kira and Kasey were in the driveway waiting for us. Tommy had come over to clean our gutters. I did not get a picture of him up on the roof, but someday I will. I can't tell you how much I appreciate him doing that job. We have so many beautiful, established trees around the house which add shade and make me happy! But they do create a lot of work in maintenance: millions of leaves in the fall, and constant dropping of dead branches and twigs. So while Tommy worked, Andy and I played with the girls.
A visit to our house includes going over to visit the neighbor's chickens. With us being out there, the roosters are constantly crowing. They have to protect their hens, of course. But with them making all that noise, the girls feel they need to go over to see them. Kasey really wanted to hold one.
It takes great concentration to hold a chicken.
Tommy was rewarded for his efforts with an omelet and lots of waffles - his request.
What a beautiful day it was today. The sun was shining brightly again, but the temperature was a lot warmer. It felt like spring. By mid afternoon, it was up to 63 degrees. So of course, we couldn't stay indoors and off we went again. This time, it was back to Mt. Laurel State Park.
It seems like Andy is not up to long hikes any more. But he can still handle 30 - 40 minutes. Mt. Laurel State Park has an amazing maze of trails. It's perfect for small, short hiking. I confess, though, that the climb up the hill is strenuous for me. I'm so much more acclimated to hiking on level ground!
I finished reading Randy Alcorn's Happiness. It's amazing that as I've read about the happiness of God in his book, the same thought was reinforced by J.I. Packer in Your Father Loves You. In Happiness, Alcorn quotes Jonathan Edwards who believed in "temperance with what's secondary but not what's primary. God is primary. We can't get too much of God; therefore, we can't be too happy in God." Then he goes on to ask: "What does my suffering do for me? It makes me see how implausible it is that I can find true happiness outside of God. When what I once leaned on for happiness crumbles to dust, the way is cleared for me to see that God still stands and is the one solid foundation on which to build my life and happiness. When we meet Jesus face to face, behold his nail scarred hands reaching out to us, see the look in his eyes when he says, 'Enter into your Master's happiness,' we will gain a new perspective on this life: the benefits of following Jesus always far outweighed the costs - each and every time."
Then J.I. Packer in the September 7th reading says: "By giving his love to us, God has voluntarily bound up his own final happiness with ours. He has in effect resolved that henceforth for all eternity his happiness shall be conditional on ours. Thus God saves not only for his glory but also for his gladness!"
It's an amazing thought to think about: how happy we'll be forever in heaven. Now our happiness is incomplete because we still suffer, but then it will be eternal and complete in the presence of Jesus. O Happy Day!
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