Happiness

Isn't it amazing how you can be sad and happy at the same time? I don't know that I ever really thought much about that until reading Happiness by Randy Alcorn. I'm not finished with it yet, but so far, I'm being challenged by what he has written. 
 

 

I love everything Randy Alcorn writes, not only because Andy went to the same seminary Randy did, a year or two behind him; but also because he is so scholarly in his writing. You can tell he researches thoroughly and painstakingly on his subject. He quotes extensively from church fathers, Puritans, and other esteemed scholars and theologians. 

I was very saddened this morning by a conversation Andy and I had. We sat in the kitchen with our morning coffee, and he opened the conversation by asking me who my boss was. 

I looked at him questioningly, and asked him why he wanted to know. He said that if he was going to have a relationship with me, he felt he needed to get to know my boss and make sure it was all right with him. I told him my boss didn't need to know, that we were already married. Then he said things like: "we are?" "When did that happen?" I told him, "42 years ago." He said he didn't remember that. Then he repeated about needing to talk to my boss. His confusion was complete. Somehow he thought he had received an email (he doesn't do emails any more) from someone who was concerned about me and what I was getting involved in. Andy said he thought that was good that someone was looking out for me...and the conversation kept getting weirder and weirder. I tried patiently to explain the truth to him: that we were married and had been for 42 years. Then he asked me if we had children. I told him yes, we have 3 daughters. I asked him if he knew who they were and he said, "Ricky, no Amy." But that's the only one he could remember. I reminded him of all three names, then something must have clicked because he was himself again. He asked what was wrong with him. I explained that he had Alzheimer's and Parkinson's and how those diseases affect memory. Then he actually broke down and cried. I had never seen that before. He's been somewhat flat-line. I encouraged him that it was good to cry. 

He is more and more, though, confusing me for someone else. I'm not sure he always knows that I'm his wife. He talks to me about me! On one of our excursions, he asked me what my first job had been. I told him I had been a key punch operator. Then he said, Oh, that's really interesting. That's why my wife did when we were dating."

And there are too many incidences like this to remember all the details of every conversation. 

As sad as this is, we still have many instances of happiness. On Monday morning, our eleventh grandchild was born to Dawn & Tommy. The delivery was a little nerve wracking, but that passed, and we were delighted to be able to go visit and hold that precious little boy.

We stopped at the hospital Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday to see Dawn and Cole. What a little sweetie and how much joy a new born brings. We didn't witness Kira's and Kasey's reaction to their brother, but Dawn sent me the cutest picture of the three of them.

The week before Dawn had Cole, she was at our house sitting at our kitchen table. With her being great with child, the extra weight must have added some stress to the chair on which she was sitting. She mentioned that it didn't feel very secure and that I should get new ones. So when my kids tell me to do something, I obey!

We had the new chairs delivered on Tuesday and they not only look good, they feel very sturdy. I think they also look a lot better with our kitchen decor.

The old

The new

Another thing that brings happiness to my heart is being out in nature. It seems like Andy and I can enjoy that together even if our conversations aren't very meaningful any more (at least to me, they aren't). For the last week or so, we hadn't been able to get out because of the mounds of snow. But the weather has been fairly mild since the storm, and I thought the trails might be relatively clear by now. So yesterday we conquered Mount Laurel - that's right - all 56 feet of it! Now that's my kind of mountain climbing!

I didn't realize how many trails there are in this park, and it's actually a state park! There's a tower at the top, although it's off limits to hikers. There was still a little snow in spots, but there were lots of trails to explore. 

Mr. Alcorn points out how happy God is with verses that state how he rejoiced over His creation, how Jesus, "for the JOY set before him, endured the cross." Of course, God grieves over the horrible things that go on here on earth, including our own pain, but at the same time, he is a happy God. He is always working for the good of those who love him, and he knows that in the end, the story will be "happily ever after!" 

Revelation 21:1-5
"Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.' He who was seated on the throne said, 'I am making everything new!' Then he said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'"