Where have I been???

Almost 2 weeks ago, I woke up to a humming sound.  I thought at first it was a smoke alarm.  We had replaced 3 of them the day before and I was a little leery of Andy doing the work.  He insisted he could do it and I didn't argue with him.  So when I heard the humming, I assumed it was because he did something wrong.  Oh, me of little faith! 

I got Andy to investigate and he discovered it was the computer making that noise.  So he unplugged everything.  It hadn't even been on, so whatever happened - it did it while the computer was off.  And the hard drive is completely gone.  Completely!

I know the importance of backing up our data and have a good plug-in back up device.  But as often happens when things go along merrily with no problems, one can become complacent and let backing up slip.  I hope I've learned my lesson - unfortunately, the hard way.  I had backed up on Sept. 14, but I had done a lot of adding and subtracting to our financial data files on Sept. 30 (pay day).  I was pretty bummed when I discovered that our computer guy could not recover that data.  It was completely gone.  Completely!

I prayed a lot over this and asked God to be merciful to me and help me remember the data that needed to be updated.  By checking our last visa bill and the check book, I think I was able to bring everything up to where it needed to be.  He's so good to me and demonstrates his great love by carrying my cares.

So I've been without a computer at home since Monday, Oct. 13th.  I guess it's a good thing I'm still working and can access the computer at work.  And currently, I'm using Andy's lap top.

Meanwhile, life goes on.  Two Saturdays ago, Andy and I drove up to see the Lindsays.  We just sat around in the kitchen and talked.  The two oldest girls joined in the conversation.  The boys were outside playing and didn't even know we were there till an hour or so later.  We love being with that family.  The kids are the best and fun to be around.

Then on Sunday, Oct. 12, we drove to see the Eberly family.  Katy's birthday is on the 10th so we went up to celebrate.  When we came in the house, I said to Katy:  "Happy birthday, Katy."  She looked at her mommy and said, "Am I not 4 any more?"  That cracked us all up.  She is the funniest kid.  I did get some pictures that day.  It was a little cool but nice and sunny.

the birthday girl - does she look happy?

All in all - it was another good time with the grandkids.  They are also the best kids! 

And then there are the Sherf kids - also the best!  We get to see them a little more often.  Kasey is growing and getting bigger.  She recognizes us and smiles when she sees us.  Kira loves to play with her Poppop, and Dawn often stops by the church for them to play in the gym together. 

Each one of our 10 grandkids is special.  I love thinking of them and looking at their pictures.  Some are quiet, some are lively, but each one is unique and special.

Proverbs 17:6:  "Children's children are a crown to the aged..."  (not that we're aged - but we might be some day!)

A Bit of Good News

It's been a year since we got the diagnosis of Alzheimer's, 11 months since Parkinson's was added to the mix and 16 months since the prostrate surgery to fix the constant urinary tract infections.  What an up and down ride but this past week, we were encouraged at his neuropsychologist appointment.  This is the doctor who diagnosed the Alzheimer's and Parkinson's.  Several months ago he prescribed some new meds and suggested physical therapy.  It seems that these in combination have contributed to Andy feeling better than he's felt in a very long time.

He has been faithfully doing his exercises every day and sometimes twice a day.  Exercise is good for oxygenating the blood and contributing to overall health, including brain health.  As we walked back to the doctor's office, Andy and the doctor walked together down the hallway.  The doctor looked over at Andy as he was walking and said, "Wow!"  Then as we sat in the office with him and we told him how Andy was feeling, he actually smiled!  That was significant to us.  How often have we sat in doctor's offices and heard bad news?!  But not this time.  Andy asked the doctor what we could expect.  The doc said everyone is different and the disease progresses at different rates for different people.  But he might stay at this level for a long time.  He is on a pretty low dosage of the meds so there is room for increasing them in the future if it's needed.

Andy has been not only doing his exercises specifically designed for Parkinson's patients, he is also riding his bike again.  The nice weather has been helpful and he rides back and forth from the church to home, sometimes several times a day.  

Oh, it's good to feel good!  Of course, riding to church and back is not nearly up to his 50-60 miles at a stretch like he did several years ago.  I made him promise he wouldn't ride that far - mainly because 1)  he might get lost and not know how to get home; and 2) he might have an accident and be stuck out there on his own.  

Here he is on one of his rides to the shore several years ago!

Biking is in his blood - he loves to bike.  I remember him telling me once that when he was a kid, he saved his money for a very long time so that he could buy a bike.  And now with a sore knee, sore ankle, sore feet and sore toes, biking is about the only exercise he can still do.

clowning around

Serious biking!

In our journey, sometimes people read articles or hear of a new supposed cure for Alzheimer's.  We've had all kinds of advice from coconut oil to you name it.  While I appreciate all these well meant suggestions and ideas, the bottom line on everything I've read is that "there is no known cure."  But this week, we got the best possible cure of all sent to us by one of our dear daughters.  

 Andy now has an excuse to drink beer!  All 5,636 bottles!  After all, this may boost brain power.

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2014/09/30/beer-flavonoid-may-boost-brain-power/

Who thinks up these things?

Presently

As I was walking on the treadmill the other morning, my Bible memory notebook was open to Psalm 116.  I love this psalm because it says how I feel:

I love the Lord because he heard my voice.  He heard my cry for mercy.  

Because he turned his ear to me I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me

I was overcome with trouble and sorrow,
Then I called on the name of the Lord:  "O Lord, save me!"
The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simple hearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.
Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

I found a book on the shelf that I had not read before, so pulled it down and found why people have found such hope in the psalms:  "Because these detail the heart experiences of men in fear and doubt and guilt and soul-hunger, describing how they have felt and how God has met them." (from Continuous Revival ~ The Secret of Victorious Living by Norman Grubb)

No matter how bad my circumstances, I can find rest in God.  He quiets my heart because my hope is not found in my circumstances, but in my faithful, unchanging, loving, full of grace God.

Speaking of the treadmill - I decided I wanted it upstairs.  It's pretty demotivating and depressing to exercise in the basement  with no natural light.  So one weekend when several big, strong sons-in-law were visiting, I bribed them to bring it upstairs.  That thing is a beast, heavy and bulky.  But it was accomplished and I enjoy walking on it now.  My view is so much more inspiring looking out on the lawn and nature, as well as watching traffic go by.

In addition to adding the treadmill to the front room, I decided to get rid of the futon and put in a day bed.  When the futon is made into a bed, it takes up so much of the room, there is hardly enough space to walk around.  So I've been having fun re-doing the room, ordering room darkening shades, a day bed, new bed covers.  I really like the way it turned out.  

The futon opened up

The new daybed

The day bed came in a flat box and was quite a challenge for us to put together.  But we managed it finally and were still speaking to each other afterwards!

I'm not sure what to call the room.  There are several possibilities:  the front room, the toy room, the guest room...It gets called any number of things, I guess depending on the mood of the moment.

Last Sunday Amy and Ricky and kids went to church with us, then home for lunch.  Dawn & Tommy and their girls joined us for lunch - I ordered pizza and made a salad.  Amy brought dessert.

Of course, the kids had fun playing together, then we all watched the Eagles game.  It was quite satisfying because the Eagles won.

Whose lovely feet are marring the beauty of this picture???

Earlier in the month, Andy and I took a trip to Berks County to my mother's church because they were having a special service and luncheon to honor her for being a founding member, as well as her faithful service through the years.  All my siblings were there, along with their spouses.  I'm very thankful that we all enjoy being together.  And it was good to see my Mother again because now that she's moved to the assisted living in western PA, I will probably not see her unless she comes back east.

I had been somewhat dreading the trip because our recent car journeys have been stressful.  But it really wasn't bad this time.

A favorite question I get asked nowadays is:  "How is Andy doing?"  I'm very thankful that my current answer is truthfully:  "He's feeling very well physically."  This is a blessing because a year ago, he was at his worst.  He is faithfully doing his exercises that the physical therapist recommended.  He is also riding his bike to and from church.  He seems to be tolerating and thriving from the exercise.  And maybe the medications are helping, as well.  Whatever, we're thankful.  He still is forgetful and easily confused, but it's tolerable right now.  Maybe I'm getting used to the way things are now.  We had a friend who used to say, "You get used to hanging if you hang long enough."

We continue to bask in the goodness of God. 
Lamentation 3:22-23 
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

In one of Ann Voskamp's recent devotionals, she wrote:  "Every sunrise proves the burn of his passionate heart."

If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking!  Great is his faithfulness!

Family Pictures 2014

We did our family pictures a little earlier this year because Amy and family will not be with us on Thanksgiving. 

I thought it might be nice to have green leaves on the trees for the background of this year's pictures.  So we planned a picnic on Labor Day, and since we would all be together, I asked a friend who is a gifted photographer if she would be willing and available to come shoot us!

So here they are:

 

One little girl was very tired and had a hard time smiling or even wanting to be in the pictures, but I guess with this many people to work with, it's amazing if any of them turn out ok.

comic relief:

Crazy family

The ones who started it all (still in love):

We who are blessed, bless

Come, bless God, all you servants of God!
You priests of God, posted to the nightwatch in God's shrine,
Lift your praising hands to the Holy Place, and bless God.
In turn, may God of Zion bless you - 
God who made heaven and earth!

Psalm 134 (The Message)

Eugene Peterson comments on this psalm:  "Because God blesses us, we bless God.  We respond with that which we have received.  We participate in the process which God has initiated and continues.  We who are blessed, bless."

So how can I bless God?  By recognizing his goodness to me and being thankful for all he is doing in and through me.  

I love standing at my kitchen sink and looking out at the beauty of our garden and lawn.   A couple of years ago, I planted a crape myrtle bush in the corner of the house and right now, beautiful fuschia flowers are filling my vision as I look out.  A special treat the other day was the sight of a hummingbird coming by for a nectar snack.  Then other varieties of birds are quite busy at the bird feeders that I keep filled.  There are tufted titmouse, cardinals, blue jays, sparrows, various finches, chickadees, nuthatches, downy woodpeckers, flickers, etc.  Occasionally, a chipmunk helps himself, as well as a squirrel or two.  It's quite entertaining to watch the action - better than tv!

And the lush green lawn reminds me of how we no longer have to hand water our gardens, but were able to put in a sprinkler system that automatically comes on every other day.  Our front lawn was an eye sore for many years, but now it is picture perfect!

I am very grateful for our family.  We enjoy being together and took the opportunity on Labor Day to have everyone join us for the day.  Tommy had to work so he wasn't with us for lunch but left work earlier than usual so he was here for our family pictures at the end of the day.  (more about family pictures in a future blog)

The morning had been dreary and threatening rain, so I looked up rainy day activities on google.  I found a very interesting game and we got the stuff to make it happen.  I think the girls were a little surprised that I would encourage a game like this since it was going to make a mess.  But I thought everyone would have fun with it and I could take the whole next day to clean up.  And isn't it a better goal to make happy memories than to have a perfectly clean house?  The game consisted in stretching a balloon across the bottom of a cup, then using the balloon to shoot mini marshmallows at each other.  

The ammunition

Don't forget the protective eye wear!  Big kids and little kids - one and all - got into the game.

Another blessing is that Andy seems to be feeling as well as he's felt in a very long time.  He is faithfully doing the exercises the physical therapist recommended.  He is also going on short bike rides nearly every day.  Perhaps it's the exercises, perhaps it's the medication, but whatever it is, we're thankful for feeling good.  His memory issues don't appear to be getting worse, or maybe I'm getting used to the way things are.   I admit it's hard to have a normal conversation because it takes a while sometimes to help him understand what I'm trying to convey.  But he tries and doesn't get frustrated or impatient with me (another blessing).  

Several weeks ago, I was feeling very sad.  But I have some very good friends who encouraged me with the Word and their love.  They reminded me to keep my eyes on Him and not my circumstances.  God quieted my heart and reminded me that I can trust him with my life and the things that he allows. 

I don't always sleep well, and one morning I woke exhausted.  In the process of getting ready for work, I was reminded that Jesus knows how I feel.  I remembered that he was up all night after being arrested in the garden - not a wink of sleep, plus being tortured, abused, misunderstood by his friends.  No wonder he fell as he was carrying his cross.  How did he have the strength to go on?  In spite of how he felt, though, he continued on with the work he had come to do.

Eugene Peterson mentions a book on God with the title:  The God Who Stands, Stoops, and Stays.  "That summarizes the posture of blessing:  God stands - he is foundational and dependable; God stoops - he kneels to our level and meets us where we are; God stays - he sticks with us through hard times and good, sharing his life with us in grace and peace."

I am very blessed.  How good God is!

More Summer Fun & More Zucchini

It seems like our Tuesdays are always consumed with doctor appointments.  What a fun (note the sarcasm!) way to spend our day off.  This last week was no exception although this time it wasn't for Andy, but for me.  My issue is that I have osteoporosis.  The doctor has had me on medication for 5 years or so to build up my bones.  Every 2 years I have a dexascan to measure my bone density.  This year's test was on Tuesday.  Fortunately, it is a simple, easy test and doesn't require a lot of time and energy, so we still had a good part of the day to plan something fun.

Andy was feeling up to it, so Dawn dropped Kira off and we spent several hours playing with her at our house and at the neighbors' trampoline with their 2 little girls.

Andy romped and played with the girls like he was 20 years younger!  But eventually, even the girls got tired, so Kira and I played inside while Andy rested.

killing dragons with our magic wands

When we took Kira home, Andy and she played for a while in their pool.  And again, Andy couldn't resist horsing around while I got to hold Kasey.

While our neighbors were on vacation, I asked Andy to check their garden to see if they had any zucchini coming ripe.  He brought back 3 of them.  The one was so huge.  I don't know if I've ever seen one so big.  It was 17 inches long and weighed 6 pounds (as big as a newborn baby).



I was able to get 2 meals out of it.  It was so big that I cut it in half and saved the one half to have a couple days later.  It was delicious both times.

It's really simple to make.  Just scoop out as much of the zucchini as you can and shred it.  Then mix that with an egg, Parmesan cheese and bread crumbs.  Put that mixture in the zucchini boats, top with chopped Roma tomatoes, then add mozzarella cheese on top.  Bake for 40 minutes and enjoy!

The other evening when I went out to water our potted flowers, I looked up in the sky and saw this lovely scene.

The moon is inside the far left jet cloud, and doesn't that cloud formation near the bottom almost look like an angel?

Recently the Lord has been convicting me of how stressed I am.  Granted, there is a lot I'm dealing with but that is no excuse if I really believe in God and his sovereignty.  Psalm 131 spoke volumes to me as I read:  

"O Lord, my heart is not lifted up,
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a child quieted at its mother's breast;
like a child that is quieted is my soul.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and for evermore."

I want that quiet spirit, resting and secure in my Father, just enjoying His presence with me.  The "stress" He is allowing in my life is for my growth and maturity.  Can I remember that?  No, I need constant reminding.  That's why saturating myself with God's Word is so vital.

Eugene Peterson comments on this psalm:  ..."Just as the child gradually breaks off the habit of regarding his mother only as a means of satisfying his own desires and learns to love her for her own sake, so the worshiper after a struggle has reached an attitude of mind in which he desires God for himself and not as a means of fulfillment of his own wishes.  His life's center of gravity has shifted.  He now rests no longer in himself but in God."

Is God enough?  Or am I only content and happy when things are going smoothly?  When I stop and consider, I have to note that God is especially near and dear to me when things are not going well.  Yes, he definitely is enough...he is more than enough.  He provides me with all I need for life and godliness (2 Peter1:3), and I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation (Philippians 4:12).   

I don't know that I'm really very good at being content in any and every situation.  It seems like I have a long way to go to be able to claim this for myself.  The kids had a song on one of their kids' cd's that said:  "He's still working on me...to make me what I ought to be."  Yup, that about sums it up.

Later in the week, I heard from the doctor who called with the results of my dexascan:  there is no further deterioration in my hip and spine so I can take a 2 year break from the medication!  Wa-hoo!

The deep deep love of Jesus

I think I'm coming out of it, but all week I've felt sad.  I was on the verge of tears numerous times throughout the day.  I couldn't seem to get over it. 

I felt sad about Andy's condition and our circumstance even though I have much to be thankful for.  But the reality of it is that his forgetfulness and confusion are sometimes very painful to deal with.  Several months ago, we were able to laugh and have fun over it, but it isn't funny to me any more.  At least it hasn't been lately.  Maybe I'm too tired.  I feel overwhelmed with the responsibility of taking care of him and totally inadequate for the job.  Of course, the reality is that I can't do this, but only in the strength God supplies.

Many years ago, I was intrigued with the idea I heard in The Hiding Place when Betsy ten Boom told her sister, Corrie, that "there is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still."   This week, even in my low time, I experienced God's deepness.

A friend encouraged me with the following note:

I'm praying Psalm 42 for you, esp v.5,6,8... I love v 8 - You know this, but sometimes it's hard to feel it- hard to remember, so that's where v 6 comes in.  I'm praying that He'll remind you again and again of His love - through specific verses, events, and songs.  I especially think it's cool that v 8 mentions the songs, since you and Andy have led us in worship-

When I read Psalm 42 for myself, as she suggested, I was so ministered to.  How many times have I read this psalm, but it was so poignantly fitting for my current need.

As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God?
When can I go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, 
"Where is your God?"
These things I remember as I pour out my soul:  how I used to go with the multitude, 
leading the procession to the house of God, 
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, 
the heights of Hermon - from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls, 
all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life.

Yes, verse 3 describes my emotional state:  my tears have been my food day and night..." but the reassurance that verse 8 gives that the Lord directs his love to me by day and he sings over me at night!  How can I continue to be downcast or disturbed?  My hope is in God, my Savior, not in my circumstances.

But that wasn't the end of God's encouragement to me.  On Wednesday, another friend stopped by the office.  She wasn't sure why she was there, she "just felt like she needed to be."  So the two of us "disappeared" to the prayer garden behind the church.  We talked and prayed and cried together.  Both of us are going through deep waters but what a blessing it was to remind each other of the goodness of our God.  We talked about how easy it was for us to cry.  And how it seemed like we were always on the verge of tears.  It was a high point of my day.  Then that night when I was home, I picked up a book I am currently reading, Who Will Deliver Us? by Paul F.M. Zahl.  The first sentence I read was:  "Tears are a precious measure of the things that really matter to us."  And tears matter to God, too.  In Psalm 56:8, David asks God to "list my tears on your scroll - are they not in your record?"  And in Revelation 21:4, we are told that God will wipe every tear from our eyes.

 On Friday I got a call inviting us to spend the evening with a couple.  Right down the road from us, at Johnson's Corner Farm, they were holding a Classic Car Show.  The couple who invited us to join them have an Austin Healey that he built and refurbished.  So he drove it down to the car show with Andy, and his wife and I drove down in my Prius.


We had a good time looking at all the shiny, souped up classic cars and getting some free ice cream and being with our friends.

When we got home and were getting ready for bed, Andy mentioned that he wasn't feeling well.  He said he had pains in his lower abdomen and he thought he might have a urinary tract infection.  Then he said I shouldn't worry about it but try to get some sleep.  Isn't that just like kind, considerate Andy?!  He's in pain but worried about my sleep.  Of course, after he said I should just forget about him and get some sleep, I started to get more and more awake, wondering if I should take him to the emergency room or if he would get better without help.  Well, since at that point, I knew I wouldn't get to sleep, we decided to get up and go to the hospital.  As it turned out, that was a good decision because he had blood in his urine indicating a UTI, plus he was severely constipated.  This seems to be a problem and wasn't the first time this happened.  I think his medications are a contributing factor and he needs to be more careful in how much bread he eats, as well as to be more faithful in drinking his fiber drinks.  Our experience at the ER was actually a good one.  We did not wait for hours in the waiting room (a fitting name!), but were admitted promptly to a private room and the nurse came in almost immediately to take care of us.  Andy had constant attention and the only waiting we did was for the test results.  We got home at 1:00 am.

So as can be imagined, Saturday was a "do nothing" day...just rest up from all the stress of the day before.  It seems strange that it should be so, but the experience of the UTI, constipation and ER seemed to lift my sadness.  I don't think it was actually the experience itself that lifted my weight, but God using it somehow to minister to me.

I was reading this morning in A Long Obedience in the Same Direction by Eugene Peterson.  He quotes P.T. Forsyth who wrote:  "God is deeper than the deepest depth in man.  He is holier than our deepest sin is deep.  There is no depth so deep to us as when God reveals his holiness in dealing with our sin...[And so] think more of the depth of God than the depth of your cry.  The worst thing that can happen to a man is to have no God to cry out to out of the depth."

And speaking of the depth of God reminds me of one of my all time favorite hymns, Oh, The Deep Deep Love of Jesus.

VERSE 1
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Vast, unmeasured, boundless, free
Rolling as a mighty ocean
In its fullness over me
Underneath me, all around me
Is the current of Your love
Leading onward, leading homeward
To Your glorious rest above

CHORUS
Oh the deep, deep love
All I need and trust
Is the deep, deep love of Jesus

VERSE 2
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Spread His praise from shore to shore
How He came to pay our ransom
Through the saving cross He bore
How He watches o’er His loved ones
Those He died to make His own
How for them He’s interceding
Pleading now before the throne

VERSE 3
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Far surpassing all the rest
It’s an ocean full of blessing
In the midst of every test
Oh the deep, deep love of Jesus
Mighty Savior, precious Friend
You will bring us home to glory
Where Your love will never end

© 2008 Integrity's Praise! Music/Sovereign Grace Praise (BMI)

The ocean is a wonderful picture of the endlessness of God's love.  As impossible as it is to measure the sea - so is God's love unable to be measured.  

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of god that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  
Romans 8:38-39