I was meditating on this, just thinking: "what a concept," when the Lord led me to Matthew 11:28 where Jesus is telling his disciples, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
Wow! Jesus was humble, he trusted his Father perfectly. And if we learn from Jesus' example, we will find rest for our souls. Rest, not the stress of worry.
So God continues to teach me. I pray that I will continue to be open to his quiet whisperings in my heart, drawing me to himself, helping me to become more and more like Jesus and letting him take care of me. I know I can't take care of myself and worrying certainly doesn't help either, so I need to humbly submit myself to the care of God - day by day, moment by moment.
The question I hear most often from people is: how is Andy doing? It's a difficult question for me to know how to answer, although I'm grateful that people care. I guess the best way to answer is to keep posting experiences and conversations I have with him.
Andy seems to still know who I am. He tells me he loves me, he expresses his gratitude for "all I'm doing." He tries to have conversations, but I often don't understand what he's talking about.
One evening this past week, he told me he felt like he needed to have some money because there were some people he needed to be able to help. It's pointless to reason with him, so I just went along with him and asked him how much he wanted. He said he thought $200 would be enough to start. So I told him I would have to go to the bank the next day since they were already closed. He was ok with that, and of course, he forgot when I visited the next day. He hasn't mentioned it since.
Another evening, he said he didn't think he could keep on doing what he was doing. I wasn't sure what he was talking about with that statement, but on probing a little, I think he meant he couldn't keep his job. I reminded him that he was "retired." He heaved a sigh of relief, then said he needed to talk to someone about stopping his salary. I told him I would take care of that. And he was satisfied with that answer.
Andy was on a 30 day round of antibiotics for his uti. He finished that medicine so we'll see how long he stays infection free. He struggles constantly with the tremors in his hand and chin. Sometimes, his arm jerks spastically. I mentioned that I didn't think his legs were shaking but he said they do sometimes.
Another day, he told me that he didn't think he would "be here much longer." He couldn't explain why. But I used that opportunity to remind him that our times are in God's hands. He knows the end from the beginning. I also talked about how wonderful heaven will be when we get there.
I continue to read Scripture to him every evening when I visit. It seems to be a great calming influence - for him as well as for me.
This past week, Tommy came over on Tuesday to help me trim my bushes. They were out of control. I borrowed a hedge trimmer from a neighbor. Tommy got them all done in about an hour. In the past, I have tried to trim the bushes myself, but if I use the hedge trimmer, it is so heavy to lift up that I don't last very long. Then, too, I ruined one trimmer years ago by cutting into the cord. So I figure it's better not to try that job myself.
Tommy brought over Kasey and Cole for me to play with while he worked. Kasey liked the Candyland game. She was fascinated with the cards and pictures of the cupcake, cookie and candy cane...not really into game rules yet.
Yesterday, I took a trip down to Ocean City where Dawn, Tommy and kids are spending some vacation time. While the kids napped, Dawn and I went to the boardwalk, got a coffee and walked up and down. What a treat!
When it was time to return to the family, we went back to the car, but couldn't find it. Neither of us had been paying attention when we parked, so we walked up and down a number of streets before we finally found it. My phone said we had walked about 4 miles (but that included our walk up and down the boardwalk, too!). I don't know that Tommy will let us live that down. A couple of airheads! Well, we were making memories!
I've had a little time, here and there, to work in my gardens. They give me lots of pleasure, and I'm so grateful for the beauty of God's creation.
I am amazed that I am feeling at peace with my situation right now. That can only come from the Lord.
Psalm 25:4-10
Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths;
Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord.
Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way.
All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant.
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