On Wallin Pond

"So then, those who suffer according to God's plan should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good." 1 Peter 4:19

I memorized 1 Peter several years ago, but in reviewing recently, I came to this verse again. It is rich with meaning. I am suffering according to God's plan for me, so what can I do but rest in his sovereignty and trust his faithfulness. As I wait on him, I have hope - a sure hope - that gives me courage and strength to continue living for him. 

And as I take my eyes off my desperate situation and back on to my big God, he brings moments of joy and pleasure. He meets my needs in amazing and unanticipated ways. 

I'm concerned that Andy is developing another UTI. He finished a 30 day round of antibiotics the end of May, but this last week has been displaying some symptoms again. He has been extremely exhausted and lacking in appetite. 

I almost feel guilty about enjoying my life as it is right now, when Andy is suffering so. But I try to share my experiences with him, as much as he can understand.

On Monday afternoon, I went and got Naomi because her birthday was Wednesday. Years ago, we wanted to be as intentional as possible to pour into the next generation. So on their birthdays, we have them come to spend a night and a day with us. They make a list of activities they want to do while with us, and we have a great time with them. Andy was always so good at providing the fun: riding bikes with the kids, making up silly rules, shooting the bb gun at a hand made target, practicing with his bow and arrows, and various other activities. Now that he's no longer home, I really want to keep on being involved with the grandkids, even though I feel like I don't have as much to offer. 

I did have a good time with Naomi, though. It's such a joy to have another person in the house. How quiet it is most of the time, with no one to talk to, no one to eat dinner with, no one else around. Naomi is a good conversationalist. As the kids get older (she's 12 now), meaningful conversations are much more the norm. 

On Monday evening, she went with me to visit Andy. Then when we returned home, we watched a movie and ate ice cream together. The next morning, she wanted to bake a blueberry pie for her dessert with the family. I found a recipe that looked good, and we worked at it together.
 

The pies turned out to be delicious.

The day was dreary with periods of drizzle and misty rain. But by lunch time, it seemed we would stay relatively dry for a hike. We were so glad we went to Rancocas State Park because we saw some interesting things along that 3.2 mile hike.

All along the trail we saw holes in the sand and near those holes, lots of empty egg shells. We were conjecturing on what kind of eggs they might be and guessing turtle, when we saw this.

Don't get too close to these turtles. They are not friendly. Snapping turtles can bite off a finger.

We also saw a fawn through the foliage, well camoflauged. I tried to get a picture, but by the time I got the camera to focus and zoom in, he took off. 

I got a call from Dawn later in the week to ask if I was available to babysit Cole on Saturday afternoon/evening. I said I would make it work. She and Tommy had a wedding to attend. Kasey and Kira were spending time with another set of grandparents, but Cole would be taking his nap when Dawn had to leave. It turned out to be another time of joy (more than just a moment - many moments). He is such a sweet boy. I got him up from his nap, and he was pleasant and happy the rest of the time I had him.

I took him to see Andy, which didn't really work out too well. Andy needed as much attention as Cole, so I didn't stay there very long - just long enough to get Cole some ice cream.

 

He's getting more adept at eating ice cream, although still pretty messy!

Cole and I had dinner together, then spent the rest of the time outside, playing and walking around the neighborhood several times.

  

 I got to rock him and sing to him before putting him to bed. What a treat (for me!).

You see God gives me many moments of joy. And one more this week...in Thursday's mail, I received a card from someone in our church. When I opened it, I was shocked to  see there were two $100 gift cards included. So kind of the Lord to remind me he hasn't forgotten me.

I continue to read to Andy every evening that I visit him. I've been wondering if he understands what I'm reading or how he's processing it. My usual routine is to read a couple chapters from the Bible, then rest my voice a minute or two before reading from one of the books we've always enjoyed together. I'm currently reading The Lord of the Rings. 

One evening as I was reading through Corinthians, Andy stopped me to say, "that was really good. Who wrote that?" I told him it was the Bible, Paul had written to the Corinthian church. His next comment was, "He did a good job!"

Another time, he questioned me about the Lord of the Rings story, wondering when it took place. I told him it wasn't real, but fantasy, and he was amazed!

My gardens continue to show off. This week, another of my gumpo pink azaleas decided to go all out. A little behind the other one, but better late than never, right?

And I can't help but keep looking out my back kitchen window at the clematis. It is so lovely with the sun shining on it.

What brings the most joy, though, is my relationship with the Lord. How good he is to me. If I had nothing (no house, no family, no money), I would still have everything in Jesus. 

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:25, 26