If only growing spiritually was as easy as physical growth.

Andy and I were doing a little bit of yard work yesterday morning before it got too hot. I am so pleased with all "my" trees that I've planted over the years. It must have been about 13 years ago, I bought 10 pine trees for $10. They were just barely past stick height. In fact, they were so small, one or two of them "accidentally" got killed by the lawn mower.
 

 

But look at them now! My babies are growing up nicely.

The crape myrtle was planted only a couple of years ago, mainly for the beautiful color in the summer. That tree outdid itself this year, bringing me great visual pleasure.

Then there are the western red cedars. These lovely trees were planted in the fall of 2012.

They were planted with plenty of space between them. But look at them now - only four years later. My goal of blocking the view of the street is almost realized.

Sometimes parents complain that their children are growing too fast, but in reality, if they didn't grow, those same parents would worry that something was wrong.

I like to think that I am maturing in my walk with the Lord. Although I have a lot of room to grow, I am embarrassed to think of some of the things I thought, and even said out loud, when I was young. 

In between my sophomore and junior years while in college, I spent ten weeks in Mexico City working with Wycliffe Translators. My time there was spent in their computer room, typing up translation documents. I remember telling my good friend that I was happy to be working with machines...it was easier than working with people. Can you believe it?  But the interesting thing is that even in that office, there were people. And those people had issues. In fact, I did not realize that there was adultery going on. When I got back to college that fall, I heard from a young man I had worked with. He wanted to come see me and talk. What he wanted to talk to me about was to justify his desire for divorce from his wife and remarriage to a colleague. 

Another thing I thought was that "theological" books were not for me. They took too much thought and I wasn't interested. I believed the Bible and that was good enough. I was happy that Andy studied and thought he had a lot of insight. I delighted to talk with him about the spiritual truths he was learning. 

But even there, the Lord was wanting to grow me up in Him. He changed my heart and I now can't get enough of learning about him and his ways. I am so grateful for his faithfulness to me and that he doesn't give up on me. 

There are so many books that have been helpful and meaningful to me, especially since Andy has become ill. God has used his word, theologians and biblical scholars to help me know him better.

I recently picked a book off the shelf by R.C. Sproul, Chosen By God.

 

 
It's about predestination. Talk about deep! Whew. I actually was challenged by what he said and enjoyed thinking about that subject. What is so amazing to ponder is that way back in eternity, God thought about me and chose me. It wasn't because I had done anything, either good or bad. I hadn't even lived at all yet. But he chose me to be his. "Chosen by God" is a phrase used to describe Jesus. In 1 Peter 2:4, Jesus is said to be "chosen by God and precious to him." Then a few verses later, he also says that [we] are a chosen people (verse 9).

He not only chose me to be his, but he also showered me with his grace and love through the death and resurrection of Jesus, then the gift of the Holy Spirit to live for him.

Lord, I come, I confess
Bowing here I find my rest
Without You I fall apart
You're the One that guides my heart

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Where sin runs deep Your grace is more
Where grace is found is where You are
And where You are, Lord, I am free
Holiness is Christ in me

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

Teach my song to rise to You
When temptation comes my way
And when I cannot stand I'll fall on You
Jesus, You're my hope and stay

Lord, I need You, oh, I need You
Every hour I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

You're my one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You
My one defense, my righteousness
Oh God, how I need You

 © 2011 sixsteps Music/worshiptogether.com Songs/Sweater Weather (admin. At EMICMGPublishing.com)(ASCAP)/Thankyou Music (admin. Wordwide at EMICMGPublishing.com), excluding Europe, which is admin. By Kingswaysongs)(PRS)/Valley of Songs Music (BMI)

Physical growth is somewhat automatic, given enough food and parental nurturing. But spiritual growth is something else. It isn't automatic, but takes time, surrender to our heavenly Father to his work in us. We experience growing pains through trials and difficulties, but those are designed to show us our inadequacy and insufficiency to effect our own holiness. 

We need Jesus and his righteousness - every hour and every day. And hopefully, we keep growing/maturing in our walk with him, coming to know him better and better.

Consider the mighty oak...another "stick" I bought when we first moved into our house. It is reaching to the heavens. Even though it is so tall, the trunk looks like it still has plenty of room to grow.




Oh, Lord, may my life be like the tree, putting down roots deep into your word, so I might grow with arms lifted high toward you and heaven, standing firm no matter how hard those storms blow and rage against me.

An article posted in the Huffington Post this week claimed that "the one thing Christians should stop saying" is that we're blessed, particularly when we are financially "blessed." I agree with the questions he raises. Why do we think we are blessed when we have no financial worries or if we receive a raise or get back a nice big income tax return? What about the millions of people, some of them Christians, all over the world who make less than $10 per day, who scrounge around in garbage dumps to find scraps of food? Are they not blessed?

The author of the article, Scott Dannemiller, goes on to remind us that Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, told us that those who are happy (blessed) are those who are poor in spirit, meek, hungry for righteousness, mournful, merciful, pure in heart, peacemakers, and even persecuted for righteousness' sake. 

We in America tend to think God is our Genie in the Sky, on call to answer our every need in the way we want. We forget that God's purpose for us is to refine us, to make us holy, to complete the work he began in us. And that does not necessarily mean giving us a comfortable life with no problems.

There's no doubt that we are blessed, but not necessarily in the way we Americans think of blessing.

One of those blessings I was grateful for this week was children and grandchildren. Scripture is clear that people, our relationships are gifts from the Lord. 

Psalm 127:3 - "Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord."

Proverbs 17:6 - "Grandchildren are the crown of the aged, and the glory of children is their fathers.”

I had brunch with a dear friend on Tuesday and met with another dear friend on Thursday afternoon. In both encounters, we were recounting how much joy our grandchildren bring us. I have always been astounded at the instant bond there seems to be between us "old folks" and the new grandbaby. In our own case, at least, each grandchild has not only been a joy to us, but amazingly enough, also seemed to enjoy us. 

So just for the pure joy of it, I spent several hours yesterday looking through pictures for proof of fun times with us, in particular with Andy. Of course, those grandchildren born earlier have memories of him rough housing with them, playing on the floor, wrestling and tumbling with them. But even those born more recently still seem to be drawn to him. I've always told him he's a baby/kid magnet.

Kasey Ann Sherf

Claire Ruth Lindsay

Joanna Alex Eberly

Asher David Lindsay

Aiden Christian Lindsay

Kira Dawn Sherf

Chase & Joanna

Katy Emma Eberly

 

Grace Olivia Lindsay

Kira

 

Eberly kids

Grace, Naomi Rayne and Chase

Chase Wyatt Eberly

 

Kira

Cole Thomas Sherf

Grace

Cole

Ann Voskamp had a guest post on her blog this week by Jennifer Dukes Lee who wrote a book, The Happiness Dare. I was very interested in what she had to say because sometimes I almost feel guilty for being happy when there is so much horrible stuff going on in the world.

I resonate with the points she made:

* When you desire happiness, you are not a pleasure-seeking heretic. You are responding to something built into your soul.

* Your desire to live happy is your soul's memory of the original paradise, etched and alive in you.

* Your happiness is a formidable weapon in a world wracked with pain.

Oh yes, life is hard, but there are still happy moments. Andy and I still laugh together. We tease and enjoy the life we have at this moment. We enjoy our family, our friends, hikes in the woods, our home, ice cream...

Lee goes on to say that "happiness is a gift from a happy God. It's permissible by God and achievable through him."

Then she quotes John Piper who said it like this: "Our mistake lies not in the intensity of our desire for happiness, but in the weakness of it."

Her whole post is excellent and I heartily recommend you read it and take up the happiness dare.

1 Corinthians 4:7 - "What do you have that you did not receive?"

1 Timothy 6:17 - "...put your hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment." 

Happiness and blessing. 
Yes, I agree we need to be careful about what we mean when we say we are blessed. But the Bible tells us that we are indeed blessed "with every spiritual blessing in Christ." 
(Ephesians 1)

We have been:

* chosen by God to be his children, holy and blameless in his sight, 
* he loves us with an eternal love, 
* we are redeemed through Jesus' blood, 
* the riches of God's grace have been lavished on us,
* we are accepted in the Beloved.
* we are marked with the Holy Spirit, a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance.
* we are God's possession.

Oh yes, we are blessed indeed.  

"Once on the track, Much-Afraid discovered to her surprise and deep thankfulness that it was not nearly so appalling in actual fact as it had seemed in anticipation."

 

Hinds Feet on High Places is an allegory of the Christian life. It was written by Hannah Hurnard in 1955 so I was expecting archaic King James language and there was some, but I was pleasantly surprised by how I identified with the main character. She began as Much-Afraid, but as she traveled along on her way to the high places, she learned many valuable lessons about trusting in the Shepherd.

Before beginning her journey, Much-Afraid was promised a new name, release from all her fears, beautiful feet no longer crippled but able to leap about, and a place in the Kingdom of Love.

The Shepherd told her if she was in trouble or danger from her enemies, she could call and he would be there instantly. On her journey, Much-Afraid encountered Pride and other enemies, detoured through the desert, traveled along the shores of loneliness, walked along the old sea wall, injured herself on the ascent of the precipice, went through the forests of danger and tribulation, endured thick mist when she couldn't see the path. But in each difficulty, she surrendered herself to the Shepherd's will. Her eyes were opened to the "fact that right down in the depths of her own heart, she really had but one passionate desire, not for the things which the Shepherd had promised, but for HIMSELF...She was so shaped that nothing could fit, fill, or satisfy her heart but he HIMSELF...'Nothing else matters,' she said to herself, 'only to love him and to do what he tells me. I don't know quite why it should be so, but it is. All the time it is suffering to love and sorrow to love, but it is lovely to love him in spite of this and if I should cease to do so, I should cease to exist'."

I had a little trouble getting into the story, but in the end, I did enjoy it. I identified with Much-Afraid since I, too, quiver and tremble with the difficulties I face. But in the end, Jesus gave Much-Afraid a new name - Grace and Glory. He has promised the same to all his children: 

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. (Revelation 2:17)

I needed this kind of input in my heart and mind this week. I met on Tuesday with our financial representative. Several weeks ago, he had advised me to make an appointment with an estate attorney. I had called one who had done our wills several years ago, but she was on vacation. Her secretary said she would call me back to make an appointment. Meanwhile, on Tuesday, I asked our financial agent to give me a list of things I needed to talk to our attorney about. As I was taking notes, my phone rang. Caller id notified that it was the attorney calling. I took the call and the secretary said the attorney would be excited to be able to talk to me about our situation. And I made an appointment on the spot. When I got off the phone, our agent said he had looked up our attorney, and she is one he would have recommended. He has often referred other clients to her partner, and he has confidence that that law firm is quite competent in estate law. 

Well, you can imagine, I came away from that meeting on "cloud 9." God was obviously giving detailed signs that he was leading the way. But as often happens, what goes up must come down...

Meanwhile, Andy had been telling me he wasn't feeling well. Several mornings in a row, he told me he had been up in the night with diarrhea. I didn't know what to think or do. Questioning him for details didn't help because he couldn't answer my inquiries. I took him to The Tender as usual on Wednesday morning, but they called me about a half hour later to come and get him. Thursday morning was more of the same in the way he felt, so I didn't take him over but kept him with me all day. By the end of that day, he seemed to be doing better. Was it a virus? Or medication side effects? I don't know, but I'm thankful he seems to be over it.

One night I happened to wake up around midnight. It occurred to me that the sprinkler system wasn't running. I can always hear the pipes humming when it is on, so it seemed odd that everything was so quiet. I didn't think about it again till two nights later when again, I noticed that the system wasn't running. In the morning, I checked the control panel, wondering if someone had turned it off. But everything looked good. I was puzzled, but decided to call for service. They were overwhelmed and couldn't schedule a visit to the house for another five days. 

This was not a good week for the sprinkler system to not be working. It's been in the upper 90's every day - super-duper hot.

On Friday morning, it suddenly came to me...I wonder if someone unplugged the control panel. I went and checked. Sure enough, the control panel was unplugged. Hmmm...I wonder who did that! Well, I can't say for sure, but there's only one other person in our house, and I know I didn't do it. Also, I remembered that last Sunday, before we had our family down, Andy got the leaf blower out to clean the deck. He probably unplugged the sprinkler system and plugged in the leaf blower. But like I say, I didn't actually see him do that, so I can't say for sure. But it does sound logical, doesn't it? 

God gave me some pleasing moments this week. Even though it was sooooo hot and humid - not at all pleasant to be outside, a gold finch came and perched on the bird feeder in a moment when I was looking out the window. What a beautiful yellow he was - a sunny, happy moment for me. And I also saw a hummingbird out that same window on a different day. Another beautiful bird, it just sat on the bush for a while looking around, while I watched it the whole time.

I also enjoy looking through the skylight in our bathroom every day. One evening, there were fluffy white cotton ball clouds.

Another day, the sky was the bluest blue with the sun making the contrasting green leaves shimmer.

Andy was watching Nicolas Nickleby this afternoon (by Charles Dickens). Near the end, Nicolas says, "weakness is tiring, but strength is exhausting." I love that line. And how true it is. But I also love God's perspective and promise about strength. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. 

Isaiah 40: 29-31 is such a wonderful passage to commit to memory: 

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

He has indeed given me strength. Two years ago, I could never have imagined that I could be at peace, have the strength to do what I'm doing, to carry on with life. But God loves to do his work in frail, imperfect, broken pots. To Him be the glory, great things He has done.

Psalm 18:32-33 - "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights."

Habakkuk 3:19 - "The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."

 

Always & Never

When I was growing up, my parents instilled in me to be careful of my words. They would not allow me to say things my friends were saying, like "Oh, my gosh," or even, "Oh, my word." Once I said, "Good grief," and my dad admonished me that grief wasn't good so why was I saying that? He was strict about making sure that our yes was yes and our no was no. In his mind, other words were superfluous and unnecessary. He took his guidelines from Jesus' words in the Sermon on the Mount that anything beyond the yes and no comes from the evil one. 

Another "thing" of his was to never use the words "never" and "always". When Andy and I were receiving our pre-marital counseling, this was advised to us, as well, that in our arguments/disagreements, we should refrain from these ultimate words. This is really good advise if you think about it, for "never" and "always" indicate no wiggle room. And who of us, in reality, always in every case do a certain thing; or conversely, never do it? These words are commonly used but rarely true. They are usually used as accusations to gain the upper hand in an argument, but in reality, are exaggerations to make a point.

But there is One of whom we can say is ALWAYS with us and NEVER fails us. Scripture is pretty clear about this and reiterates it over and over again.

 And think about the love of God. It ALWAYS protects, ALWAYS trusts, ALWAYS hopes, ALWAYS perseveres. Love NEVER fails.

These are beautiful promises to remember when we are going through the deep waters of affliction. His grace gives me eyes to see the love of God in every affliction as well as in prosperity. 

Psalm 25:10 - "ALL the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant."

I finished reading through Be Still, My Soul for the second time. I can't recommend this book enough to anyone who is going through deep trials. The readings are short enough but deep and insightful, written by great men and women of faith. In chapter 20, J.I. Packer's devotional, titled Hoped-for Healing, teaches on the 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 passage where Paul talks about his thorn in the flesh. He felt so weak because of that thorn, but Jesus assured him that His grace was sufficient for him, that His power was perfected in weakness.

Packer says that God uses chronic pain and weakness, along with other afflictions, as his chisel for sculpting our lives. Felt weakness deepens dependence on Christ for strength each day. The weaker we feel, the harder we lean. And the harder we lean, the stronger we grow spiritually, even while our bodies waste away.

When I read that about leaning, I couldn't help but remember how one of our daughters used to like to sit close to me during church or as we read stories on the couch. And when I say, "close," I mean leaning hard into my side. I loved it, though, and never minded her leaning into me. It indicated her need to be loved. 

And now when we take family pictures, there are certain grandchildren who lean into us as we sit next to them. And it warms my heart to think they enjoy our nearness. Is this how God feels when we his children long to lean into his arms? I think so. He loves us lavishly and it warms his heart when we love him back, leaning into him, trusting his loving arms. 

And we're not the only ones who lean. God leans into us, too. His heart is toward us. He stoops to his children. He hems us in, behind and before. He lays his hand upon us.

So both parties lean: the one needing protection, the other to be the Protector. 

I always noticed in pictures of Andy and me together, how he leaned toward me. Granted, I'm a lot shorter than he is, but I'm inclined to believe he leans more because his heart is always toward me. 

I didn't post this yesterday because we were just a little busy. All our daughters and their families came down to have some together time. Andy's mom and dad came over and joined us. That made 20 people all together. What a time we had: lots of laughter, fun, play, eating, teasing, running in and out, joking around. 

Tom, The Grill Master

Two little cousin friends at their own little table

My Pink Buddy

I couldn't help but notice there were moments when Andy seemed like his old self. He even jumped in before we ate to get everyone's attention and lead in prayer for the meal. That hadn't happened the last several times we were all together.

Well, these diseases are unpredictable. You NEVER know what will happen next but should ALWAYS be on the alert.

Andy has been going to The Tender 5 days a week for the whole month of July. What a blessing this has been. He is enjoying his time there and I am enjoying the break of not worrying about him while he's there. Win-win!

The CEO of The Tender had advised me to get Andy to some specialized testing at the New Jersey Institute for Successful Aging.  I made an appointment and took him on Wednesday afternoon. Andy spent about two hours with Dr. Libon, a doctor/professor who teaches at Rowan University. He is a doctor of geriatrics and teaches at the university. After Andy, Dr. Libon then spent another 30-40 minutes with me. It was a long afternoon. The doctor was very compassionate. I felt he really cared about us. He actually asked me how I was doing, then of course, I teared up. But he handed me a tissue and said he was sorry. He had also had family members with the same illnesses. 

After we were finished, he wanted us to set up an appointment with a geriatrics psychiatrist and a social worker. Both of those appointments will be in early September. After those two appointments, the three of them will write up a report and let us know the results. The meeting with the social worker will mostly be for my benefit - to share possibilities that are available for me.

I have been reading through Be Still My Soul by Nancy Guthrie again. It's a compilation of short chapters by different authors on the subject of suffering and trials. This week I read, Dying Well, by D.A. Carson. He based his writing on Psalm 90 about the shortness of man's life...how our life is just 70 or 80 years, if we have the strength. He said that our current western culture is shocked when someone dies. It's hard to believe or accept. But why should it be? Everyone dies. No one is an exception. 

He said that even when Christians get sick, people plead with God for their healing. Oh, it's not wrong to pray for healing because God is the Great Physician. But he suggests that perhaps a better way to pray for people who are ill would be: "Heavenly Father, we would love it if you would heal --. But if it is not your will to heal him, teach him to die well. Give him a joy of the Lord. Give him a heritage of godly faith, with one foot firmly planted in heaven, so that his wife and children will be stamped by it, and will look to Christ. We don't ask that he have an easy time, but ask that he be so full of grace, people will see Christ in him."

This really is our desire. When Andy was first diagnosed, his brother took him out to dinner and in the course of the conversation, Dan asked Andy what impact he thought this would have on his family. And Andy answered: "I taught them how to live, now I want to show them how to die."

Carson says "we are all under the sentence of death; we are all terminal cases. But the good news is that "when we pass through death, death dies! And the more a Christian lives in the consciousness of God's presence here, the easier it is to anticipate the unqualified delight that will be experienced in God's presence there. I'm so grateful that this life is not all there is. It's just a mist that appears for a little while then vanishes. But our life in heaven with our Lord and Savior is eternal, never ending.

Even in the darkness of the shadow of death, we have moments of beauty. We really are surrounded with the beauty of God's creation and people we love.

Yesterday in the cool of the day, I walked outside to check on my gardens. The roses of sharon are in full bloom. There was a butterfly enjoying them, too, but he was unwilling to pose for me. He was too busy flitting or burying himself in the flowers.
 

We took another trip to PA today, this time to visit with Christy and her family. I made a key lime cheesecake yesterday and took that along for our dessert. We had lunch together, then played a game with the whole family except for Andy and Claire and Aiden. And before we left, the children willingly honored my request to have a picture taken with all of them with Andy and me.

 

Well, the only way we were able to get some good pictures was to promise they could make funny faces at the end. So here is the proof that we kept our promise!