On Wallin Pond

"Once on the track, Much-Afraid discovered to her surprise and deep thankfulness that it was not nearly so appalling in actual fact as it had seemed in anticipation."

 

Hinds Feet on High Places is an allegory of the Christian life. It was written by Hannah Hurnard in 1955 so I was expecting archaic King James language and there was some, but I was pleasantly surprised by how I identified with the main character. She began as Much-Afraid, but as she traveled along on her way to the high places, she learned many valuable lessons about trusting in the Shepherd.

Before beginning her journey, Much-Afraid was promised a new name, release from all her fears, beautiful feet no longer crippled but able to leap about, and a place in the Kingdom of Love.

The Shepherd told her if she was in trouble or danger from her enemies, she could call and he would be there instantly. On her journey, Much-Afraid encountered Pride and other enemies, detoured through the desert, traveled along the shores of loneliness, walked along the old sea wall, injured herself on the ascent of the precipice, went through the forests of danger and tribulation, endured thick mist when she couldn't see the path. But in each difficulty, she surrendered herself to the Shepherd's will. Her eyes were opened to the "fact that right down in the depths of her own heart, she really had but one passionate desire, not for the things which the Shepherd had promised, but for HIMSELF...She was so shaped that nothing could fit, fill, or satisfy her heart but he HIMSELF...'Nothing else matters,' she said to herself, 'only to love him and to do what he tells me. I don't know quite why it should be so, but it is. All the time it is suffering to love and sorrow to love, but it is lovely to love him in spite of this and if I should cease to do so, I should cease to exist'."

I had a little trouble getting into the story, but in the end, I did enjoy it. I identified with Much-Afraid since I, too, quiver and tremble with the difficulties I face. But in the end, Jesus gave Much-Afraid a new name - Grace and Glory. He has promised the same to all his children: 

Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one who is victorious, I will give some of the hidden manna. I will also give that person a white stone with a new name written on it, known only to the one who receives it. (Revelation 2:17)

I needed this kind of input in my heart and mind this week. I met on Tuesday with our financial representative. Several weeks ago, he had advised me to make an appointment with an estate attorney. I had called one who had done our wills several years ago, but she was on vacation. Her secretary said she would call me back to make an appointment. Meanwhile, on Tuesday, I asked our financial agent to give me a list of things I needed to talk to our attorney about. As I was taking notes, my phone rang. Caller id notified that it was the attorney calling. I took the call and the secretary said the attorney would be excited to be able to talk to me about our situation. And I made an appointment on the spot. When I got off the phone, our agent said he had looked up our attorney, and she is one he would have recommended. He has often referred other clients to her partner, and he has confidence that that law firm is quite competent in estate law. 

Well, you can imagine, I came away from that meeting on "cloud 9." God was obviously giving detailed signs that he was leading the way. But as often happens, what goes up must come down...

Meanwhile, Andy had been telling me he wasn't feeling well. Several mornings in a row, he told me he had been up in the night with diarrhea. I didn't know what to think or do. Questioning him for details didn't help because he couldn't answer my inquiries. I took him to The Tender as usual on Wednesday morning, but they called me about a half hour later to come and get him. Thursday morning was more of the same in the way he felt, so I didn't take him over but kept him with me all day. By the end of that day, he seemed to be doing better. Was it a virus? Or medication side effects? I don't know, but I'm thankful he seems to be over it.

One night I happened to wake up around midnight. It occurred to me that the sprinkler system wasn't running. I can always hear the pipes humming when it is on, so it seemed odd that everything was so quiet. I didn't think about it again till two nights later when again, I noticed that the system wasn't running. In the morning, I checked the control panel, wondering if someone had turned it off. But everything looked good. I was puzzled, but decided to call for service. They were overwhelmed and couldn't schedule a visit to the house for another five days. 

This was not a good week for the sprinkler system to not be working. It's been in the upper 90's every day - super-duper hot.

On Friday morning, it suddenly came to me...I wonder if someone unplugged the control panel. I went and checked. Sure enough, the control panel was unplugged. Hmmm...I wonder who did that! Well, I can't say for sure, but there's only one other person in our house, and I know I didn't do it. Also, I remembered that last Sunday, before we had our family down, Andy got the leaf blower out to clean the deck. He probably unplugged the sprinkler system and plugged in the leaf blower. But like I say, I didn't actually see him do that, so I can't say for sure. But it does sound logical, doesn't it? 

God gave me some pleasing moments this week. Even though it was sooooo hot and humid - not at all pleasant to be outside, a gold finch came and perched on the bird feeder in a moment when I was looking out the window. What a beautiful yellow he was - a sunny, happy moment for me. And I also saw a hummingbird out that same window on a different day. Another beautiful bird, it just sat on the bush for a while looking around, while I watched it the whole time.

I also enjoy looking through the skylight in our bathroom every day. One evening, there were fluffy white cotton ball clouds.

Another day, the sky was the bluest blue with the sun making the contrasting green leaves shimmer.

Andy was watching Nicolas Nickleby this afternoon (by Charles Dickens). Near the end, Nicolas says, "weakness is tiring, but strength is exhausting." I love that line. And how true it is. But I also love God's perspective and promise about strength. His strength is made perfect in our weakness. 

Isaiah 40: 29-31 is such a wonderful passage to commit to memory: 

"He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

He has indeed given me strength. Two years ago, I could never have imagined that I could be at peace, have the strength to do what I'm doing, to carry on with life. But God loves to do his work in frail, imperfect, broken pots. To Him be the glory, great things He has done.

Psalm 18:32-33 - "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights."

Habakkuk 3:19 - "The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights."