The Week in Pictures

We finally got some nice weather - nice enough to have our morning coffee on the deck - in our new Americana bistro set.

Finished another puzzle - this one was difficult but fun - African animals included in the overall lion shaped puzzle.

Did some yard work in the cool of the morning yesterday - needed to trim the bushes that hide the air conditioning unit. This hurt me more than it hurt them.

I couldn't resist showing off my mountain laurels. aren't they beautiful? 

Got a sheet full of recipes to make in a cup - tried the snickerdoodle cookie - then topped it with ice cream while it was still warm. Yum!

Dawn and Tommy came over today to hang up the gift I was given for Mother's Day - a family birthday wall hanging with everyone's name under their month.

Sickness & Abiding

Andy had been off his antibiotic for a week and a day, then on Friday, he told me he thought he had a uti. I immediately called his urologist, talked to the nurse and told her the situation. When she called me back, she said the doctor had already left, but she flagged him down in the parking lot. He prescribed another antibiotic and literally, a few minutes later, the pharmacy texted me that the medication was ready for pick up. I was very thankful that we were able to start the meds before the weekend.

He has not been feeling well ever since, intermittent chills and sweating and feeling very tired. We were scheduled to go to our nephew's wedding on Saturday afternoon, and we still went. It was lovely, very God-honoring. They did a special ceremony using a cord, weaving three strands together, illustrating Ecclesiastes 4:12 with the two of them and Christ interwoven into their marriage.

Fortunately, the wedding was in the afternoon with the reception early evening. We stayed for the dinner, but left around 7:15. I felt it was better for Andy not to stay out too long, especially since he wasn't feeling well. The conversation at the dinner table was interesting. Andy sat next to a relative of the groom's mom, our sister-in-law. At one point, Andy didn't understand how to answer a question put to him, so he turned to me and asked me what he had. I explained that he had Alzheimer's and Parkinson's (which the man already knew). Andy tries to enter into conversations, but often loses his thought in the middle of the sentence.

I've noticed that more and more of his conversations with me just don't make sense. If he says something and I ask him to repeat himself, he can't. I got to thinking maybe the reason I can't hear what he says in the first place is because I'm not understanding or he's not speaking clearly or with sense.

I just love Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray. I am gaining some rich truths that have been blessing me and encouraging my soul. Just a few nuggets:

"God's grace is given - as much as I need for today. He certainly gives, only enough, but also FULLY enough." (chapter 14)

"It is only into the thirst of an empty soul that the streams of living water flow. Ever thirsting is the secret of never thirsting." (chapter 16)

"My great work is to listen and hear and believe what he promises: to watch and wait and see what he does; and then in faith and worship and obedience yield myself to his work who works mightily in me." (chapter 18)

"By suffering the Father would lead us to enter more deeply into the love of Christ. It is an unspeakable mercy that the Father chastises - makes the world all dark and unattractive, leads us to feel more deeply our sinfulness and for a time, lose our joy. His purpose is that we will find our rest in Christ in time of trouble and choose to abide in him as our only portion." (chapter 19) 

 In spite of the pain we endure, there are many moments of great joy - just like when the sun comes shining through after endless days of cloud and rain.

We found a new place (at least to us) to walk. I had been told about the Hainesport Municipal Park and thought it would be a good time to try it. My rationale was that walking on blacktop might be safer than walking in the woods (where ticks are concerned). There are walkways all around the park and we walked over a mile; hopefully, in safety!

And another bright spot in our week was having Dawn and her kids over for dinner on Friday night. Tommy is away for a week, so it was a good opportunity to fix tuna ring for Dawn. It's been her favorite since she was a kid and Tommy says he doesn't like fish, so she can't ever have her favorite meal with him. And little Cole was happy to be here.

I confess I had some anxious moments on Friday afternoon when I returned home from work. When I walked into the house, I discovered the basement door was open. I immediately called Andy and asked him what he was doing down there. I was concerned that he was "fixing" something he thought needed fixing. Then I realized his dad was down there with him and the two of them were trying to understand why our air conditioning wasn't working. Dad had also called a heating and air conditioning contractor to try to figure out why it wasn't working. I felt myself becoming very upset and trying to stay calm, told them the a/c wasn't turned on. I had it on the other day and it works fine. Of course it won't work if the system isn't turned on. Then I told dad: "Please don't do anything in this house unless you talk to me first." In my mind, I was picturing all kinds of disasters because of them trying to make things work. Well, needless to say, after I calmed down, I felt the need to apologize to dad for getting so upset. He was gracious and said he understood.  

So life continues to be an adventure. And I have a lot to learn about abiding in Christ...letting the peace of Christ rule me.

Flowers & Family

Although it's still not very warm, but supposedly by mid May the threat of frost is over. I wasted no time inplanting some summer flowers. Andy and I went out to the garden center after I finished work on Thursday and loaded up the back of the car with flowers for the pots as well as a few annuals for the side beds by the driveway.

I had never seen or heard of Gazania but I was intrigued by their beauty. They produce large, daisy-like composite flowers in brilliant shades of yellow and orange, over a long period in summer.

 And I like to keep some color in the pots in this side garden.

I already have a lot of flowers blooming in other parts of the yard that are outdoing themselves this year.

Azalea

lilacs

lilacs close-up

I'm not the only one who likes lilacs!

Yellow rhododendron - I love this color

Andy was another year older this week and last Sunday being Mother's Day, there was reason enough to have a family get-together. All the kids and their kids came down yesterday afternoon. We had planned a picnic with burgers and hot dogs on the grill. All day long, the weather forecast was calling for rain in the afternoon. But the rain held off until after we ate so we put our deck to good use (and in the process, saved the dining room from crumbs and food).

I love how the kids are so resourceful. When it started raining, no one told them what to do, they just occupied themselves in our old garage. They found a lawn darts game and some bats. The funny thing was that they didn't play the lawn darts game in the usual way. Someone stood by the game "board" while the others lobbed the darts toward the board. Then the person at the board tried to bat the dart.

Everyone had a good time, including the adults.

We did get a couple of hikes in this week. On Wednesday afternoon, we went over to Black Run Preserve again. It's amazing the difference when there are leaves on the trees. We hiked the Orange Trail, part of which went through this green "tunnel."

And yesterday right after lunch, we were able to fit in a hike at Long Bridge Park. I was excited to see the mountain laurels are blooming.

And there's the Rancocas Creek!

I was thrilled to see a goldfinch at the feeder today. And he was good enough to sit there long enough for me to get his picture.
 

And one more picture - this one of our littlest grandchild. Dawn took this picture of Cole and me last Sunday at church. He is such a happy little guy. And I am happy when I get to hold him.

 "The day's portion in its day: Such was the rule for God's giving and man's working in the ingathering of the manna. It is still the law in all the dealings of God's grace with his children. A clear insight into the beauty and application of this arrangement is a wonderful help in understanding how one, who feels himself utterly weak, can have the confidence and the perseverance to hold on brightly through all the years of his earthly course. A doctor was once asked by a patient who had met with a serious accident: 'Doctor, how long shall I have to lie here?' The answer, "only a day at a time,' taught the patient a precious lesson. It was the same lesson God had recorded for his people of all ages long before: the day's portion in its day."

I read this in Andrew Murray's Abide in Christ, day 14 reading. It was a good reminder that I need only concern myself with today. God gives grace as I need it today. I don't know and can't know what tomorrow will be like, but I do know that when it comes, God will give me grace for that day as well. 

I'm beginning to think there may be some changes I need to make soon. I may need to give more attention to Andy and not as much to my own pleasures (ie. reading, computer time). It seems he is becoming more dependent on my occupying him and not only telling him what to do, but also doing it with him. So here come more lessons on dying to self. But here, too, God will provide just what I need..."He most certainly gives, only enough, but also fully enough, for each day."

Drama-rama & Wisdom

After ten straight days of dreary, dismal weather with intermittent drizzle and drenching downpours, we finally saw the sun today. At one point, I saw a headline that asserted that south Jersey was the coldest, wettest place in the nation. What a distinction!

After church today and before lunch, we went over to Strawbridge Lake to walk along the water. It's a suburban park but still beautiful. We had been there before but hadn't hiked the whole length of the lake. So it seemed like a good thing to do today. It was breezy but warm and comfortable. The grounds are lovely with huge, well established trees and a great variety of them.

After the couple of fun things we had in our schedule last week, I was looking forward to a week of routine again. But it was not to be. 

On Sunday afternoon, Andy told me he thought he had a urinary tract infection. After thinking about it with him, I agreed he was probably in the beginning stage. So Monday morning, I called his primary doctor to see what we should do. I was told they were booked solid with appointments, and I should call his urologist since he had history with him. So I called the urologist, but didn't get a person and had to leave a message. Several hours later, a nurse called back to tell me his doctor was on vacation but another doctor in the practice was prescribing an antibiotic. And sure enough, the pharmacy soon called to let me know his medicine was ready for pick up. I admit, I was relieved I didn't have to take him to the doctor or the lab to leave a specimen.

On Tuesday, Andy wanted me to look at his arm where I discovered a tick. I attempted to pull it out but was unsuccessful in getting the whole tick. I decided to take him to Urgent Care to have a professional with better tools get the whole tick removed. 

The doctor spent a lot of time digging to remove the tick but it was quite embedded. He kept going out for more tools, coming back in and trying again. He finally succeeded. Then Andy was given a dose of doxycycline as a preventative to Lyme's disease. 

The next morning I was in a staff meeting at church when one of the guys on staff came into the room where we were meeting and asked me to come with him. He had left the staff meeting to take a phone call, which is when he noticed that Andy was in distress. When I went to the front office, Andy was sitting in his chair, crying. He couldn't tell us what was wrong. He was pretty agitated and mixed up in his explanation of what was wrong. So I took him home and stayed with him the rest of the day. 

Now here is an example of the Lord's grace. I was talking that afternoon with my friend, telling her about how Andy was doing. When I mentioned doxycycline, she interrupted me with how it had affected her when her doctor prescribed it this past winter. She said it made her "crazy." She said it shouldn't be in his system long. And it wasn't. The next morning, he seemed back to normal. But that was really scary. Now I know not to ever let any doctor give him that medicine. It's interesting that the side effects enumerated on doxycycline give a list a mile long, but I couldn't find anything that indicated "craziness" as one of the side effects. I really don't need that kind of drama.

Last night I was preparing to get ready for bed and got to wondering where Andy was. It was awfully quiet. I went looking for him and found him lying on the couch. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he didn't mind sleeping on the couch so there would be room for all the other people. This had happened one other time, too. So I explained to him that everyone else was taken care of, and he should sleep in his bed. He didn't know where it was so I led him to the bedroom. 

I don't know why he gets so confused in our home. This morning he asked me where I lived. So I'm guessing it wasn't clicking with him who I was. That makes sense when he says things like we just don't seem to have much time together recently. In fact, this morning when he said that, I told him that we're always together and maybe he thinks we don't have much together time because he gets confused with who I am. He agreed that might be a possibility.

My life is not dull anyway.

I'm currently working my way through two books: Abide in Christ by Andrew Murray and The Normal Christian Life by Watchman Nee.  

Abide in Christ is actually a 31 day devotional for fellowship with Jesus. This last week, I read the devotional for Day 7 where Murray explains how when we abide in Christ, he is our wisdom. I enjoyed thinking about this. I remember claiming James 1:5 when I had no clue how to deal with the children when they needed discipline. James says that if we "lack wisdom, we should ask of God who gives generously to all without finding fault and it will be given to him." I know God gave me wisdom innumerable times. But 1 Corinthians 1:30 says: "It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God - that is our righteousness, holiness and redemption." 

So when we abide in Christ, we are partakers of his wisdom. In Him "are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge," (Colossians 2:3).

Murray says: "The life you have in Christ is a thing of infinite sacredness, far too high and holy for you to know how to act it out. It is He alone who can guide you, as by a secret spiritual instinct, to know what is becoming your dignity as a child of God, what will help and what will hinder your inner life, and specially your abiding in Him. Do not think of it as a mystery or a difficulty you must solve. Whatever questions come up as to the possibility of abiding perfectly and uninterruptedly in Him, and of really obtaining all the blessing that comes from it, always remember: He knows, all is perfectly clear to Him and He is my wisdom."

These words were such an encouragement to me, especially as I have been feeling alone and tempted to fear making wrong decisions. But I don't need to fear. When I abide in Him, he has all the wisdom I need - a treasure chest full of it!

 

Our Creator/Redeemer

God is both Creator and Redeemer. I love how he creatively ministers to us and meets our needs in amazing ways.

When Andy became ill and had to resign from the ministry, I thought our ministry was over. I struggled with that but attempted to surrender my hurt and disappointment. I believed I needed to draw back and concentrate on ministering to Andy. It was necessary for me to do this in the beginning because I was overwhelmed with our situation and all that I needed to do to take care of him and us. I told myself that like John the Baptist, I needed to decrease.

But recently, God has been showing me that my ministry is not over, it's just different than it was. I may not be hosting people in my house, feeding 20-30 older singles at our table, assisting Andy in all he was doing, but I have discovered that my life and ministry are not over. 

God is redeeming our circumstances, maturing me, showing me and teaching me more of himself, taking me deeper into his word.

I've finished The Rest of the Gospel by Dan Stone and David Gregory. It was a good read with many challenging thoughts. One chapter was devoted to the Holy BUT. The author said that we often focus on what life would be if only... We think, "I know God loves me, BUT it doesn't seem like it." Or "I know God is my sufficiency, BUT I don't really have what I need." However, the Holy BUT puts God after the but, not before. For instance:
"I feel awfully weak, BUT God is my strength."
"I'm sorrowful, BUT God is my peace."
"I'm in pain, BUT Christ is my sufficiency."

He says: "The Holy But moves you from the level of soul, from thoughts and feelings (which are perfectly normal reactions to life's situations), to the level of spirit to faith, to allowing Christ to respond to situations through you with his life. The situation is the same, but you have shifted on the inside."

The Holy But picks you up from where you're stuck and moves you into faith. If we didn't have the negative in life, we'd never exercise faith. The external situation doesn't necessarily change, but I change. The Holy Spirit moves me from the circumstance to the Solution and that Solution is a Person. He moves me from without to within, from the outer to the inner, from the temporal to the eternal.

So God continues to redeem me and my situation.

And this week, we enjoyed his creation by going to Morris Arboretum in Philadelphia. There is a current display at the arboretum called Yarn Bomb. Amy, being a master crocheter, heard about the display and asked Christy and us if we wanted to meet her there. Of course, we did. We love that place. In my opinion, it's more enjoyable than Longwood Gardens. We went on Wednesday, so I had to take a vacation day. It was cloudy and chilly, but we still had a good time. The kids didn't seem to mind since they were so active, running and playing. The grounds were beautiful.

This was so funny to me. The kids got the idea to get the coins out of the pool. Others throw money in, still others take the money out. That water was cold, but they didn't seem to notice. The reward was too great!

Andy still likes to clown around.

When I showed him this picture, he asked, "Do I have cooties?"

What I like about Morris Arboretum is that although the bushes and trees are so lovely, they're easy to enjoy up close. The lawns are perfect for walking on, the kids run all over the open spaces. Some of the paths are black-topped, others are gravel lanes, and still others are terraced steps or just plain dirt.

8 g-kids all in a row

The fernery was indoors and nice and warm. Every plant in this building was a fern.

The littlest ones - 2 peas in a pod!

All too soon, our fun had to end.

But then over the weekend, Friday evening and all day Saturday, I attended our ladies' retreat at church. It has been in the planning for a number of months, and I was just resigned to the fact that I would not be able to attend. But several weeks ago, I felt the Lord nudging me that this might be good for me and perhaps I should make the effort. I consulted a friend and one of my daughters, and both encouraged me to go ahead and do it. So I signed up. 

At first, I thought since the retreat would be at the church, I could just leave Andy, and run home throughout to check on him. But then again, I felt the Lord nudging me to make plans for him to be looked after so I could concentrate on being all there at the retreat. I struggled with not wanting to ask someone, not wanting to obligate anyone. But then again, I remembered (thanks to the Holy Spirit) that Dawn had often told me that people have offered to help, and I should let them because they genuinely want to. So I called a friend who stayed with Andy before and asked if he was available. He said he was scheduled to work on Saturday but he was able to switch with his co-worker. 

I'm really glad the Lord not only nudged me, but that I obeyed that nudge and went. I wasn't really that excited about Friday night's sessions and they went late (for me!). I left early to get home and found that Andy was still awake. I read to him for a while, hoping he would get sleepy, and hoping I would relax and get sleepy myself.

When I finally went to bed, I tossed and turned. I was rehearsing all that had happened that evening and couldn't relax. I finally started wondering why I had thought I could do this. I need the routine as much as Andy does. I need my sleep for all I am responsible for, etc. etc.

I don't think I slept more than 3-4 hours that whole night. I got up in the morning to prepare for the day and the Lord changed my thinking. He reminded me that it was his idea for me to attend the retreat, so there must be a good reason why he wanted me there. He also reminded me that this is not about me but about him. If I don't get anything out of being there, maybe someone else will be ministered to by me being there.

Well, I tell you, with that change of heart, it made all the difference. All of Saturday was so uplifting and special to me. I was at a table with a great group of ladies who really ministered to me. They were so supportive, encouraging. I felt loved and carried. Actually, it was mutual. I believe we all encouraged each other. What a great blessing the Lord had for us all. 

God pours himself into his children so that we overflow to touch others. Jesus said in John 7:37-28, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."