Naomi's & Claire's Birthdays

"Good things come to those who wait."  And Naomi had to wait a very long time to have her birthday overnight with us.  Her birthday in June was right in the middle of all the drama with Andy's sickness and myriads of doctor appointments, so we were unable to have her come over then. 

But now Andy is somewhat evened out, his depression seems to be under control, as well as the low grade infection he was dealing with.  This past week, we had no doctor appointments, so it seemed like a good time to host our little 8 year old.

I was able to leave work on Monday around 1:00 to go up and get her.  She was all packed and waiting outside the house when I drove in the driveway.  I think she was a little eager!

When we got home, she wanted Andy to teach her how to play solitaire on the computer.  He is still very good at that, winning every game.  He likes to check his statistics and is able to sit and ponder and patiently figure out each move in order to win the game.  So he patiently taught Naomi how to win solitaire.  And she got pretty good at it, too.

Her favorite dinner is chicken noodle soup.  She likes the way I make it (sorry, Mommy!), so I made that while she and Andy were playing games.  The grandkids also like my homemade rolls, and I like to keep them in the freezer for just such an occasion.

After supper, I taught her how to play Phase 10 - a favorite of Dawn and Amy's.  Naomi watches them play every time we're together along with Grace, as well.  So maybe next time, Naomi can join them.  She needs a little more practice in playing offensively, but she is getting the main idea, anyway.
 

Of course, at Grammy and PopPop's house, what is an overnight with us but watching a movie and having ice cream!  We watched The Cat from Outer Space, a Disney comedy and had a bowl of ice cream - um,yum.  After the movie, Naomi and I went upstairs to the attic room.  But before calling it a night, we had to read Uncle Remus stories till we both got tired.  I love hearing the giggles as Brer Rabbit outfoxes Brer Fox.

The next day the breakfast of choice was blueberry pancakes, then more Phase 10, Computer Solitaire and another movie.  This time we watched 101 Dalmatians.  I hadn't remembered the details of that movie, but it was so fun to see the good guys win and the bad guys, including Cruella DeVil, be outsmarted and outwitted by all the animals ganging up against them. 

We went to Chick-Fil-A for lunch, then back to our house for a few more games before heading out to take Naomi home again.  Having Naomi this week was good timing because Claire's birthday was Thursday so we could take her birthday present up with us.  We were able to visit with the family, then enjoy a delicious dinner that Christy had made and sing happy birthday to Claire. 

We're glad our grandkids like to come to our house because we like having them.  There's something about children that lightens the heart and gladdens the soul and helps keep a person young.

Blessings

Just because we are living with a diagnosis of Alzheimer’s, our life isn’t over.  Far from it.  God has given us this life to enjoy and we are determined to do just that as long as there is still breath left in us.

It’s a beautiful time of year.  It seems like the leaves have been especially colorful or maybe I’m just more sensitive to the beauty of our world this year.  Andy and I are taking every opportunity to make excursions to the woods and revel in the loveliness of south Jersey’s woods. 

A week ago, the trees were still green leafed, but yesterday there was more yellow and less of them on the trees.  The weather was beautiful, perfect for hiking or just sitting on a bench to enjoy the day.

 

 

 

Another blessing we’re enjoying right now is our family.  While Andy is still relatively functional, let’s get together and party! 

On Saturday, Andy and I drove down to Dream Park in Gloucester County where the 3 oldest Lindsay kids were involved in an Alpaca Show.  The ride down and back was absolutely gorgeous with the sun shining off the different colors of fall leaves on the trees lining the highway. 

Then when we got there, how fun to watch the kids in their show and interact with C & C and Asher and Claire.  We thought it was ironic that the only boy in the show got the pink ribbon.  He was a good sport about it even though he wondered if his mom could dye it.

My personal opinion is that alpacas are one of the cutest animals.  After their show, they came back to our house and had dinner together.  Since it was so nice outside, the kids were able to play for a while outside.

Then on Sunday, Amy and Ricky came down with their kids and went to church with us.  That was a special treat to have them sit in the service with us.  After church, they came to the house and we had lunch together.  Amy had made chicken, bacon, rice soup and had also brought rolls and chocolate chip cookies from Shady Maple.  And again the weather was beautiful so the kids were able to play outside again.

Yesterday was another delightful fall day so as soon as I finished my house cleaning, off we went to Smithville Park for another hike. 

 

Who knows what the future holds?  But we don’t live there…we’re in the here and now and NOW is good!  So let's live it up!

A New Chapter

As difficult and challenging as these last 8 months have been, it's a relief to finally have a diagnosis.  I have to admit it was a shock and not the diagnosis we would have wished, but we are both feeling fine with it and trusting that God, who has lovingly led us all along our life's journey, will continue to be with us to the end.

Alzheimer's.  The word is full of emotion and conjures up all kinds of pictures of old people sitting around staring into space or wandering around the neighborhood or doing weird and all kinds of nonsensical things.  The fact is Alzheimer's is a disease in which brain cells are dying.  There is no cure.  Different people progress at different rates, staying at one stage for longer or shorter periods of time than others.  There are some medications available that may slow the progression of the disease.  But no one can say how long someone may live with Alzheimer's or how quickly the disease will progress.

Realistically, we are all dying.  We just don't generally think about it.  To us, it seems like Andy is still young.  He's ONLY 62.  But we all die, some sooner, some later. 

Around the first of the year, some of our friends began to notice Andy was forgetting simple things that he had done automatically many times.  One of those friends strongly suggested we make an appointment with a neuropsychologist to have Andy assessed.  So that first appointment was in April.  That doctor ordered blood work and an MRI with a follow up appointment in May.  Those tests did not show anything and we were relieved to hear that dementia and Alzheimer's were negative.  Since then, we have come to realize you can't tell from blood work if someone has those brain disorders.  The MRI result just indicated that there was no mass or tumor.  That doctor strongly suggested we make an appointment for further testing with a neuropsychology test: a comprehensive 5 hour oral test.  Meanwhile, Andy contracted prostatitis - an infection in his prostrate - landing him in the ER with a temperature of 104 degrees. 

When he got released from the hospital, after consultation with the urologist, we thought that the infection had been the cause of his memory issues, so we didn't follow up to make that neuropsychology test appointment.  He had laser surgery on the prostrate at the end of June and we fully expected him to improve and be well again.  However, he did not improve and even his recovery from the surgery was painstakingly slower than we had been led to believe. 

In mid July, we went on our vacation to Moosehead Lake, but Andy was sick most of the time and did not participate in the family fun.  He did a little hiking but was lacking in stamina and the enthusiasm he normally exhibits when he is on vacation and with the kids.  He didn't read at all and swam very little, both activities that he enjoyed wholeheartedly in previous vacations.  He was forgetful, was often confused and seemed in a mental fog most of the time.

When we returned home, several people strongly urged us to follow through to make the appointment for the neuropsychological testing.  When I called, the earliest they could fit Andy in was October 7th.  We had to wait a full 2 months.  It was agony.  Meanwhile, we continued to go to other doctors.  We went to a psychologist, thinking Andy might be suffering from depression.  We went to his family doctor.  We also had a follow up with the urologist.  And we also saw a psychiatrist.  All the doctors were very helpful and he was prescribed medication for depression.  It didn't seem to help.  We struggled through until finally October 7th arrived.  Andy was at that testing for 5 hours, doing all kinds of memory games, simple math problems, hand coordination exercises, etc.  I wasn't in on the testing, but afterwards he said he was so humbled because he knew he wasn't getting the correct answers.  After the test, I sat in with the doctors and Andy while they went over the results. 

The doctors were very kind, explaining how he did, asking how he thought he did, then telling him that for a man of his intelligence and education, he didn't do even as well as a person with a less than 8th grade education.  (Andy had 8 years of higher education - after high school.)  I came right out and asked:  "So are you saying that Andy has Alzheimer's?"  And the doctor answered, "Yes, I'm very sorry, but that is what he has." 

Well, we were shocked and sad, but God was gracious as he always is.  He led us to Scripture, other reading material and dear friends to encourage us. 

This is our story - it is unique to us, but it is part of the bigger story - God's story.  He has a plan and his plan is perfect and good.  You know how some stories can be confusing when you're reading them, but in this case, we know the ending.  We live happily ever after in God's kingdom with our blessed Redeemer. 

I have often been reminded in the last several weeks of a song Andy and I used to sing: Trust His Heart.
All things work for our good
Though sometimes we don't
See how they could
Struggles that break our hearts in two
Sometimes blind us to the truth
Our Father knows what's best for us
His ways are not our own
So when your pathway grows dim
And you just don't see him,
Remember you're never alone

Chorus:

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When don't see his plan
When you can't trace his hand
Trust His Heart

He sees the master plan
He holds the future in his hand,
So don't live as those who have no hope,
ALL our hope is found in him.
We see the present clearly
He sees the first and last
And like a tapestry He's weaving you and me,
To someday be just like him

(Chorus)

He alone is faithful and true
He alone knows what is best for you

(Chorus)

When you can't trace his hand
When you don't see his plan
When you don't understand
Trust His Heart

Andy and I have been reminiscing and talking about the many blessings we have enjoyed together. We both are ok with the diagnosis of Alzheimer's knowing that life may get very difficult later.  However, we are committed to trusting God in this new chapter, knowing that He will continue to be with us wherever we go.  That wherever includes Alzheimer's.

Joshua 1:9:  "Be strong and courageous.  Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

Job 1:29:  "The Lord gave (healthy brain cells/intelligence) and the Lord has taken away (dying brain cells/Alzheimer's); may the name of the Lord be praised."

Katy's Birthday and Colonial Days on the Farm

We were able to fit in 2 visits to see 8 grandkids this week.  The first was on Tuesday to take Katy's birthday present to her.  She turned 3 on Thursday and it was a good excuse to spend some time with her and Amy, Chase & Joanna.

Our present to her was this little hobby horse that makes real horsie noises.  She seemed very happy with it, as well as the little box of animal crackers we brought along for her.

It was a beautiful day and we were able to sit outside while the kids played on the trampoline.  Andy was chasing them around and getting them wound up.  It was a fun day!

Then yesterday (Saturday), Christy and family were involved in the Fall Harvest at the Peter Wentz Farmstead near their home.  Grace was dressed in colonial costume and involved with helping to make apple cider. 

The man in charge of this demonstration was very knowledgeable about apples.  It was very interesting. 

There were lots of other demonstrations, but we stayed with Grace most of the time, although we did take a tour of the house.  The house was built in the 1700's and was actually a headquarters for George Washington in the Revolutionary War on several occasions in 1777. 

Some of the other demonstrations included broom making, cooking the way it was done in the 1700's, making apple butter, gardening, preserving food for winter.  Andy & I left before seeing all the demonstrations because of Andy's fatigue.  But the weather was gorgeous and it was a beautiful day to be outside.

There were some older kids giving examples of the way kids played before tv and electronic toys.  Aiden & Asher were pretty good at rolling the hoops and little Miss Claire had to give it a try as well.





The weather was beautiful again today and we couldn't resist being outdoors, so we drove over to Amico Island Park - one of our favorites.  The sky was such a beautiful blue, leaves were turning, the sun was shining brightly and warm and there was a cool breeze - a perfect fall day.

There's nothing like a day outside in beautiful weather to bring peace and healing to the soul.

God's Waiting Room

Although I haven't been too consistent about blogging lately, it doesn't mean life has become boring.  But in spite of all we're dealing with right now, I'm not at a place where I can verbalize it all or make sense of it yet.

Meanwhile, I've been doing a lot of reading to keep my mind, heart and spirit in the right place.  One of the books was passed along to me by Marian, our pastor's wife, When the Heart Waits.  The author, Sue Monk Kidd, did a wonderful job of verbalizing what I am going through.  She used the analogy of the caterpillar going to the dark place inside the chrysalis.  She explains how necessary that dark time is for the transformation that results.

It was an encouraging read because I felt like I was gaining permission to "draw in" and regroup.  It is not wrong to take time away to refresh the spirit and just sit in the presence of the Lord, drawing from his strength and seeking his wisdom for what we're going through.  This was refreshing for a task oriented, list maker like myself.

There are biblical examples of people who went through dark, seemingly sidelined and unproductive, times: Joseph, Moses, David, and the best example of all - Jesus in the tomb and resurrection!  God uses the dark times to show us more of himself.  

We are facing a lot of unknowns right now with Andy's health.  Is there a diagnosis?  If so, what?  Then what can we do to correct the situation?  It seems like the answers are sooooo long in coming.  We see one doctor who sends us to another one who sends us to one more who...

The encouragement in all these unknowns is that we know the One who knows it all.  Nothing is a surprise to him and he will use every circumstance in our lives for our growth and maturity and to make us more like Jesus and to bring glory to himself.  I have great confidence in Him and his perfect purposes in and through us. 

The challenge is to rest in the knowledge of who God is.  He is loving, faithful, kind, works for the good of those who love him, etc.  Saturating ourselves with His Word is the only way to make it through this uncertain time.  Waiting is a difficult discipline for those who like action.  I am quiet for a couple of days, then I start thinking of somewhere to go or someone to visit or a job that needs to be done.  But there quite a few verses that talk about the benefits of waiting on the Lord.  One of my favorites is Isaiah 64:4:  "Since ancient times no one has heard, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him."  Or another favorite:  "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength" (Isaiah 40:31).  And does my strength need to be restored and renewed!

Another book that has ministered to me (although I'm still reading through it) is Paul Tripp's Lost in the Middle.

 It's written more toward mid life crises but a lot of it applies to where I am at this time, as well.  He really understands the heart and the reasons why we do the things we do.  We live in a broken world and things will not always turn out perfectly and the way we want them to, but we need to rest in the sovereign plan of God for our lives, trusting in Him completely.  This can be difficult because no one likes to suffer, at least I don't.  If I had my way, I wouldn't have any troubles - ever.  But then I wouldn't know how much I need God.  How can I experience the all-sufficiency of God except when I have no where else to turn.  I love the saying I heard years ago from Corrie Ten Boom:  "There is no pit so deep that God's love is not deeper still."

A passage from this book that gets to the heart of the matter:
One of the hardest things for sinners to do is to wait.  We have little toleration for delayed gratification, so when we ask God for things, we include our schedule for delivery in the request.  But God's sense of timing is infinitely different from ours.  Who would have thought that there would be thousands of years between the Fall and the cross?  Who would have thought that the world would have to wait so long for Abraham's promised seed?  Who would have thought that God would allow his chosen children to be subjugated to slavery in a foreign land for four hundred and twenty years?  Who would have thought that the "last days" that Paul talked about would still be continuing?  God has a perfect sense of timing.  His moment is always the right moment.  He never gets his schedule mixed up or gets things out of order.  Yet the wait confuses us, because we reason that if the thing is a good thing then a loving God would deliver it to us with haste.

So although I have no answers for what we're going through, I am learning to wait on the Lord and be strengthened and find rest in Him and Him alone.  A good thing to think on is:  Do I find my satisfaction in His gifts or in Him alone?  Do I need to understand perfectly what he is doing or feel entitled to enjoying perfect health the rest of my life?  "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised"  (Job 1:21).  He deserves our praise, worship and adoration in any and every circumstance.  Can I sing from my heart:  "O love that will not let me go, I rest my weary soul in Thee" ?

In this time of difficulty, I want to be characterized as running to the Lord, not from Him.  Yes, I am facing things that were not in my plan, but I am not facing them alone.  God is with me, He is for me, He loves me.  This moment of painful grace is sure evidence of his presence.

Psalm 62:1-2
Truly my soul finds rest in God;
my salvation comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

A Beautiful Day

Andy's mom and dad are at the shore for 3 weeks.  It's been beautiful weather so far, but the forecast for yesterday (Saturday) indicated that storms would be rolling in and it would be very windy at the shore.  We couldn't decide on whether or not we would take a trip down.  After all, I had laundry and grocery shopping to do, it's a day off for me and I just wanted to stay home and putter around the house.

Then Christy called.  Their family was down and were we coming?  So we dropped everything and drove to the shore for the day.  We are so glad we did because the weather was perfect.  The sun was shining and there was no wind.  So it was a good day to get some vitamin D and play with the grandkids and enjoy C & C.

Laundry and grocery shopping can wait.

  

 By the end of the afternoon, the clouds were rolling in, but we had already enjoyed a beautiful day.

A Grand Weekend

Amy and Ricky celebrated their 10th anniversary in February.  I can't believe they've already been married that long.  They decided to celebrate by taking a trip to Yellowstone National Park by themselves.  They asked if we were available to babysit the kids and I arranged to make the time.  It helped that they went over Labor Day weekend so I didn't have to take any time off work. 

They came down to our house on Saturday, then Andy took them to the airport in their Suburban.  It was nice to be able to use their car while we had the kids since then we didn't have to move the car seats or wonder how we would fit all the kids in our car.

One of the things the kids like to do at our house is watch movies and eat pizza and ice cream.  So I made pizza for supper and then we watched Cinderella and had ice cream. 

Another thing the kids liked to do, especially Katy and Joanna, was to dress up in the play clothes.  And Chase had dinosaur on the brain.  He was constantly talking about them or pretending to be one.

 On Sunday morning, I got them ready for church and took them all.  Katy went into the toddler nursery and walked right in without a fuss.  When I went to pick her up after church, she looked like she was having a good time.  Our church nursery, though, is a very fun place - with lots of interesting toys and activities.  Joanna went to Sunday school in Kira's class even though she was a year older.  They had fun together.  Chase sat in church with me.  He did well until near the very end when his 7 year old boy legs just couldn't stay still any longer.  He was stretching them out and being very patient but if it had gone much longer, I think he would have exploded!

After church we had lunch, then I lay down with Katy for her nap and Andy took Chase and Joanna back to church to play in the gym.  Dawn and Kira met them there and they ran off their energy and had a ball together.  Andy had bought 2 bikes for the kids so they had fun riding them around as well as playing with balls and games in the gym.

We had tentatively talked about going to the shore with the kids, but it rained on Monday (Labor Day) and the forecast for Tuesday was not much better.  So we came up with an alternate plan:  Chick-fil-A!  Dawn and Kira met us there again and the kids played there for an hour while Dawn, Andy and I just enjoyed some quiet time.  Oh, there were some moments when we had to get involved, but most of the time, they just played and played.  Someone at Chick-fil-A had a very brilliant idea when they designed all their restaurants with the indoor playground.

After lunch, we took Chase & Joanna to Dawn's and left them there to play with Kira all afternoon while Andy and I took Katy to our house for her nap and some quiet time for us.  When Katy woke up, the three of us went to Dawn's and let them play some more.  The rain had cleared up and they were able to play outside by the time we got there.


I don't know why these photos are sideways and I don't know how to change them.  If anyone has any clues, I'm open to any advice you can give me.  (The sideways photos were taken with my iphone.)

 

On Tuesday morning the rain had cleared up but we were thinking it would be too much to drive all the way to the shore for the kids to be in the car all that time, then later in the car again when we took them up to Lancaster.  So we came up with a different plan. 

We met Dawn and Kira at Laurel Acres Park where the kids played in the play area for about an hour and a half.  It was pretty humid so with all their activity and running around, they got very hot and sweaty.  So that was a good segue to a neighbor's pool to cool off. 

 

We had quite a shakeup at the pool.  Chase & Katy were in the above floater together, just tooling around the pool, when all of a sudden Katy jumped out.  I guess she thought she had little swimmies on, but she didn't.  Chase yelled at us.  When we looked his way, all we could see of Katy was the top of her head and her hands flailing under the water.  Dawn jumped in, clothes and all, she still hadn't got her swimming suit on, to rescue Katy.  She held her up and Katy didn't even splutter.  She must have been holding her breath, but we estimated she must have been under for at least 15 seconds.  She was a little scared, and we told her she couldn't do that again, but she seemed to be fine.  Whew!  

We didn't stay at the pool very long because we had one more thing scheduled to do with the kids.  We all went to our house to have lunch, then Dawn and I and all the kids went on to the Bouncy Place in Cherry Hill where the kids bounced for 2 hours.  Andy stayed home to rest and recuperate before the trip up to Lancaster.  I was so amazed at the energy level of the kids.  How do they continue to keep on going?  Are they running on Energizer batteries?  It's just amazing.  Fortunately, at the Bouncy Place, Dawn and I could sit on the bench and just watch the kids, it was actually pretty restful for the adults there but opportunity for the kids to jump and run to their heart's content.  

I took some pictures of them sliding down the slides but they were going so fast the pictures were nothing but blurs.

All too soon it was time to return the little darlings to their home.  Actually, Tuesday afternoon we drove them up to Lancaster County to Ricky's parents' who were going to take care of them the rest of the week.  

As fun as it was to have them, I have to admit that it was also exhausting.  We're not used to having 3 kids with that much energy.  They were good and obedient and fun, so there were no complaints there.  And we were happy Ricky and Amy had the opportunity to get away by themselves.

A few more pictures of our time:

On the neighbor's trampoline

Katy the monkey

Loving PopPop!

All in all, it was a fun time with the Chase, Joanna & Katy.