How good God is to me. I was so low last weekend, but God was working on my behalf. Two weeks ago, in staff meeting, I mentioned that I thought I needed to keep Andy home from church. It was too hard for him to sit in the service for that amount of time. The staff prayed about this for me and suggested that perhaps someone could stay with him so that I could attend church. It wasn't long before God began to answer.
Only two days later, Dawn called me to say D & A had asked her if there was anything they could do to help Andy and me. I immediately suggested to Dawn about my dilemma regarding church. When Dawn told D & A, they were excited to be able to do this. Then as Dawn happened to be with her father-in-law, she asked him if he would like to take a Sunday. He also said yes. A couple days later, Dawn suggested I contact Andy's two brothers, Dan & Jeff, to see if they would mind taking one Sunday a month. I did and they agreed.
Then someone from church asked me in an email how we were doing because he hadn't seen us in a while. When I told him about the church situation, he said he would pray about this, too. A couple days later, he wrote back to say that his community group wanted to take turns sitting with Andy and there were about 3 more people who wanted to take a turn. Can you believe it??? It's like God opened up the windows of heaven and poured out his blessing of provision.
It will seem strange to go to church alone without Andy, but it is obviously God's care to provide for me to be able to go and fellowship with others.
I was also encouraged Sunday night in my reading. I have just finished reading Second Forgetting again, and I "happened" to be at chapter 6 on Sunday night.
Chapter 6 is entitled, "God's Grace for Caregivers." Everything I read in that chapter was an encouragement to me, drawing me back to God's perspective.
"As a caregiver, you can take comfort in the knowledge that you too have a caregiver, one who can surpassingly meet all of your needs. Christ is our caregiver."
And Christ is our model for giving care.
"God calls us to walk in the way of love. How? By remembering what Christ has done for us and following his example in the way we treat others. You make many sacrifices to provide care for someone with dementia. In a concrete way you are putting the needs of someone else before yourself. This is a practical and present expression of Christ's own sacrificial love, and we are called to live this way in imitation of Christ. Ephesians 5 tells us that we should give ourselves up for others as Christ did for his church. When we give of ourselves and give up parts of ourselves to provide for someone else who cannot provide for their own needs, we are proclaiming the gospel through our example."
The author quotes Dietrich Bonhoeffer with words that are particularly appropriate about the humility needed as we serve others: "Nobody is too good for the lowest service...We must be ready to allow ourselves to be interrupted by God, who will thwart our plans and frustrate our ways time and again, even daily, by sending people across our path with their demands and requests."
He also reminded me that "caregiving highlights our insufficiency." How desperate is my need, I cannot do what he's called me to do without his enabling strength and power.
"The One who calls you is faithful and he will do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:24
Andy's disease seems to be progressing rapidly. Several doctors and the CEO at The Tender have told me this. And I really didn't need their input. It's obvious to me, as well. Last year this time, we were hiking all around the parks of south Jersey. But I think our hiking days are over. Any little exertion is exhausting for Andy. But at the same time, the days are interminably long if we stay in the house all day. So I've taken to going for rides. Last Sunday afternoon, we rode down to Pakim Pond. Today we rode out past Black Run Preserve. I'm not sure how much Andy gets out of these rides. He doesn't talk or communicate while we're driving. But it's getting him out of the house, which is good as long as we still can.
He saw his neurologist on Thursday and I asked about Andy's constant tremors. The doctor said, "Well, it is a progressive disease." But he said he could try increasing Andy's medications. So I am now giving Andy innumerable pills 5 times a day. So far, I haven't seen that they've made any difference.
The amazing thing to me is that although Andy can no longer put whole sentences together or carry on a meaningful conversation, he still prays at dinner every evening. He sometimes forgets to thank God for our food, but he does speak clearly and most of the time, his sentences in his prayer make sense. I think it is an indication of who Andy is at his core. He is a man of God. And another thing I really liked in Second Forgetting is the statement that we may forget God, but He doesn't forget us. Isn't it obvious that God is remembering both Andy and me in the way he continues to bless us and give us evidence that he is with us?
I am thankful for our family who has determined to pull together and not abandon us at this time. Even though the time together may be hard as we see Andy get progressively worse, we derive comfort and encouragement from each other by being together.
We had dinner together yesterday afternoon. I made a sandwich casserole that is always a big hit.
And we were able to get all the kids together for a picture with us. With this many people in the picture, it is rare to get everyone looking just right all at the same time. But I like looking at the pictures, personalities come shining through!
After all the rain from Hurricane Matthew, it was nice to see the sun come out this afternoon. It was a good reason to go out for another drive. We went to Strawbridge Lake and even got out of the car and walked a little way, enjoying the sunshine sparkling on the water.
"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." Psalm 34:8
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