In Sunday school class this morning, we read Lamentations 3 and were amazed at how awful Jeremiah's life was, all the horrible things he was experiencing. He is very detailed in his suffering:
"My skin and flesh grow old and my bones are broken (verse 4);
I am besieged and surrounded with bitterness and hardship (verse 5);
I dwell in darkness like those long dead (verse 6);
I am walled in so I cannot escape and am weighed down with chains (verse 7);
I am mangled and left without help (verse 11);
I am a target for arrows (verse 12);
I am a laughingstock of all my people, they mock me all day long (verse 14);
My teeth are broken with gravel and I am trampled in the dust (verse 16);
I have been deprived of peace, I have forgotten what prosperity is (verse 17).
But in spite of all these awful descriptive pictures of his terrible suffering, Jeremiah concludes:
"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness." (Lamentations 3:21-23)
Is Jeremiah being realistic? I would wholeheartedly say yes, he is. I have experienced the goodness of the Lord in spite of going through suffering. I think his goodness is more evident when we are desperate, when there's no where to go except to the Good Shepherd, where we receive everything we need and lack nothing.
The intensity of my suffering has eased. In fact, in a way, I don't feel like I am suffering at all right now. For five years, I was so consumed with Andy's illness, making sure he was being taken care of, worrying about how to pay for his care, making decisions without his input, and generally, getting used to being a widow even though I technically wasn't one yet. But all that is now behind me. It feels like there has been closure, with a new chapter opening up before me.
That doesn't mean I don't think about Andy any more. On the contrary, I think of him all the time. And I expect that I'll always carry him in my heart. Having done life with him for 44 years makes a difference in the way I live my life now.
There are a number of changes that will be coming my way in the near future. This is helping me to have purpose to my life. I have a future and a hope, as Jeremiah says in Jeremiah 29:11.
I had another grandchild over this past weekend. This time it was 8 year old Katy. She chose to watch The Fox and the Hound and decided to watch it as a fairy.
Speaking of thinking of Andy at every moment of the day, one of the songs in the movie was Goodbye May Seem Forever:
Goodbye may seem forever
Farewell is like the end
But in my heart's a memory
And there you'll always be.
Yes, how true. It was hard not to get choked up on that one.
Katy has a wonderful imagination, and it was fun to play with her on some of her fantasies. When she woke up on Saturday morning, she was a vet healing the broken leg of a hurt dog.
We had a good time together, eating ice cream, watching a Veggie Tales video, coloring, playing with Kira, playing some games, and taking a hike. The weather was so inviting for hiking, and we went over to Black Run Preserve again. The leaves are past their peak, I think, but there was still enough color to make the walk a delightful excursion.
We found a very big leaf...bigger than Katy's head.
All in all...another beautiful weekend spent with one of my grandchildren.
We sang a song this morning in church with the lyrics in the chorus:
Oh Your grace so free washes over me
You have made me new, now life begins with You
It's Your endless love pouring down on us
You have made us new, now life begins with You
from Death Arrested by Adam Kersh, Brandon Coker, Heath Balltzglier, and Paul Taylor
I love the imagery of grace washing over me. Another song describes grace as an ocean, then goes on to add: "we're all sinking."
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;
Grace, grace, God’s grace,
Grace that is greater than all our sin!
John 1:16 ~ "From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another."
Romans 5:17 ~ "For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God's abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ."
2 Corinthians9:8 ~ "And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work."
Ephesians 1:7, 8 ~ "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding."
Ephesians 2:7 ~ "...In the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus."
Thank God for his amazing grace!
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