The stabilizing and testing are just as necessary to our lives as the bursts of growth. We can appreciate spring so much better after having endured the winter. It's why I love living in the northeast. I can like winter only as I think of how temporary it is and how lovely spring will be. But even in winter, there are moments of beauty...as in new fallen snow, of frozen ponds providing recreation to ice skaters, a blazing fire in a fireplace that adds ambiance and coziness, a mug of hot chocolate, just to mention a few.
Right now my season of life seems to be a certain plodding. One step at a time, one day at a time. I'm conscious of the fact that I need to be content with things at a certain standstill. When people ask me how Andy is or how I am, I say "about the same." And I have to thank God for that answer. God uses the mountain top experience as well as drought times to grow us, mature us, make us more like Jesus.
I think more than ever, my life's theme needs to be:
Help me want the Healer more than the healing
Help me want the Savior more than the saving
Help me want the Giver more than the giving
Help me want you Jesus more than anything
Written by Becca Mizell and Sam Mizell, recorded by Natalie Grant
"Biblical
Christianity, which has the gospel of Jesus Christ at the center,
simply doesn't rest its hope in big moments of change. The fact of the
matter is that the transforming work of grace is more of a mundane
process.
Change typically takes place in ten thousand little moments, not one life-altering event.
The
little moments of life are profoundly important precisely because they
are the little moments. We live most of our existence in these mundane,
everyday moments. For every huge life-changing moment, we experience ten
thousand insignificant moments.
The
beautiful thing about the gospel is that Jesus Christ offers grace for
each of these little moments. The Bible doesn't say, "His mercies are
new once a year." No, "His mercies never come to an end; they are new
every morning." (Lamentations 3:22-23)
Jesus
is named Emmanuel, not just because he came to earth once, but because
he makes you the place where he dwells every day. This means he is
present and active in all the mundane moments of your daily life.
In
these small moments, he is delivering every redemptive promise he has
made to you. In these unremarkable moments, he is working to rescue you
from you and transform you into his likeness.
By
sovereign grace, your Lord will place you in ten thousand little
moments that are designed to take you beyond your character, wisdom, and
grace so that you'll seek the help and hope that can only be found in
him.
In a lifelong process of change, he is undoing you and rebuilding you again - exactly what each one of us needs!"
Even though Monday was a holiday, I went to the office and worked for a couple of hours. I didn't work the whole day as I usually do but it was enough to get me out of the house with something to do. I also had off on Tuesday, so with the long weekend (4 days off in a row), I was happy to go to work for a little while. It gave me a chance to clean up from Sunday and get a head start on my week.
With so much time off, I also baked a batch of cookies, then delivered some to the family next door who shoveled my driveway last Saturday, another couple dozen to a teen who had helped me with a project - house related. I saved some for Tommy, just because he raves over my cookies (probably to ensure that he continues to receive some when I get the urge to bake). After I saw Andy on Monday evening, I stopped by Dawn's to deliver the cookies to Tommy. Unfortunately, he didn't feel well and was already in bed. But I'm sure they didn't last long when he got up the next day. I had the privilege of reading a story to this little guy again. I love it that he is wearing his batman pj's.
We had another snowstorm - a doozy this time, a nor'easter with snow and high winds - on Thursday. I didn't go to work all day, but stayed home. It was a little frustrating because Thursday is my big day of printing all the literature for Sunday. But I couldn't do much about it. I couldn't help but think, though, how Andy and I used to be ready for adventures when it snowed. Guys are a lot more prone to risk snowy, icy roads than women; at least this woman. Let me stay safe and warm! But when Andy oversaw the building and we worked together at the church, we would venture out just to see what the roads were like. I remember one year we made it into the parking lot at church, but then got stuck because the snow was so deep, the car just couldn't push through it. Andy had to get into the building, find a shovel, then dig us out. That is a good and fun memory for me. Of course, I stayed in the car with the heater going full blast while he dug us out.
This time, Tommy came and took care of the driveway for me so I was able to get to work on Friday. By then, the parking lots were plowed and the walkways were cleared. Yes, and because Tommy did that work for me, I felt compelled to make another batch of cookies on Saturday.
A friend gave me an amaryllis at Christmas. It is an amazing flower. I haven't watered it since she gave it to me and with no attention, it started blooming. Another amazing tidbit on the amaryllis is that it rhymes with Phyllis. The perfect plant for me.
I continue to visit with Andy every evening at dinner time. One evening as I was feeding him, the man sitting next to us asked Andy how he was doing. Andy didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge the man by looking at him. He continue to look straight ahead, so I said to him, F asked you how you were doing. Immediately, without a change of expression, he did a thumbs up.
Tonight he asked me how my classes were going. It seems to be a favorite question for him to ask me. I tell him I'm not taking any classes, then he asks me what I'm doing. I tell him I have a job which leads him to ask where I work. I tell him I work at the church. The conversation usually doesn't go much further than that. This evening when I got up to leave, he told me he would watch the children for me. I told him the children were ok, but he repeated that he would take care of them. I should have thanked him and left it at that, but I told him the children were ok and they could take care of themselves. But he seemed fine with that explanation.
Andy continues to struggle with the tremors in his right hand and chin. His left hand is shaking now, too, as is his right foot. It doesn't seem to be causing him anxiety, though, which is probably a result of medication. I've noticed that the tremors in his hands are very significant if he holds his hands up. If I push his hand down along his side, the tremors stop (at least for a while). Then I take my hand off his, and he raises his hand again, which causes the tremors again. It seems like his hand naturally wants to be closer to his core. I believe this is a Parkinson's symptom. His body wants to close in.
There have been a number of deaths in families close to me recently: a friend's father, another friend's father-in-law and one of Andy's cousins. These are just good reminders that this life is not all there is...it's only preparation for the life to come, where there will be no sickness or death.
I love to read 1 Corinthians 15 - the resurrection chapter. Jesus rising from the dead was the greatest victory possible. He conquered death forever, and we no longer need to fear it.
"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" (verse 55)
"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (verse 57)
This is great incentive to continue in our walk with the Lord, faithfully living a life of faith until He returns for us. Paul continues to exhort: "Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you." (verse 58)
A long obedience in the same direction...do not give up or grow weary. God is faithful and will provide what we need when we need it.
Even though Monday was a holiday, I went to the office and worked for a couple of hours. I didn't work the whole day as I usually do but it was enough to get me out of the house with something to do. I also had off on Tuesday, so with the long weekend (4 days off in a row), I was happy to go to work for a little while. It gave me a chance to clean up from Sunday and get a head start on my week.
With so much time off, I also baked a batch of cookies, then delivered some to the family next door who shoveled my driveway last Saturday, another couple dozen to a teen who had helped me with a project - house related. I saved some for Tommy, just because he raves over my cookies (probably to ensure that he continues to receive some when I get the urge to bake). After I saw Andy on Monday evening, I stopped by Dawn's to deliver the cookies to Tommy. Unfortunately, he didn't feel well and was already in bed. But I'm sure they didn't last long when he got up the next day. I had the privilege of reading a story to this little guy again. I love it that he is wearing his batman pj's.
 |
| Winter of 2011 |
A friend gave me an amaryllis at Christmas. It is an amazing flower. I haven't watered it since she gave it to me and with no attention, it started blooming. Another amazing tidbit on the amaryllis is that it rhymes with Phyllis. The perfect plant for me.
I continue to visit with Andy every evening at dinner time. One evening as I was feeding him, the man sitting next to us asked Andy how he was doing. Andy didn't say anything, didn't even acknowledge the man by looking at him. He continue to look straight ahead, so I said to him, F asked you how you were doing. Immediately, without a change of expression, he did a thumbs up.
Tonight he asked me how my classes were going. It seems to be a favorite question for him to ask me. I tell him I'm not taking any classes, then he asks me what I'm doing. I tell him I have a job which leads him to ask where I work. I tell him I work at the church. The conversation usually doesn't go much further than that. This evening when I got up to leave, he told me he would watch the children for me. I told him the children were ok, but he repeated that he would take care of them. I should have thanked him and left it at that, but I told him the children were ok and they could take care of themselves. But he seemed fine with that explanation.
Andy continues to struggle with the tremors in his right hand and chin. His left hand is shaking now, too, as is his right foot. It doesn't seem to be causing him anxiety, though, which is probably a result of medication. I've noticed that the tremors in his hands are very significant if he holds his hands up. If I push his hand down along his side, the tremors stop (at least for a while). Then I take my hand off his, and he raises his hand again, which causes the tremors again. It seems like his hand naturally wants to be closer to his core. I believe this is a Parkinson's symptom. His body wants to close in.
There have been a number of deaths in families close to me recently: a friend's father, another friend's father-in-law and one of Andy's cousins. These are just good reminders that this life is not all there is...it's only preparation for the life to come, where there will be no sickness or death.
I love to read 1 Corinthians 15 - the resurrection chapter. Jesus rising from the dead was the greatest victory possible. He conquered death forever, and we no longer need to fear it.
"Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?" (verse 55)
"But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." (verse 57)
This is great incentive to continue in our walk with the Lord, faithfully living a life of faith until He returns for us. Paul continues to exhort: "Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you." (verse 58)
A long obedience in the same direction...do not give up or grow weary. God is faithful and will provide what we need when we need it.
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