Last night, though, I was about to go out to do my watering, when I thought I heard thunder. Sure enough, very soon, a storm came through. It rained buckets for quite a length of time. I thought I would try to get pictures of rain with my iphone. They turned out pretty good, don't you think?
Dawn has been encouraging me to do some house purging. So yesterday I spent a couple of hours cleaning out and organizing. I started on my desk drawers. In one of the drawers, I came across all the journals I had written in over the years, with the oldest dating back to when Andy and I were in seminary. It was tempting to read through them, but I was on a mission and ended up packing them away in a safe place - for future generations to read (or throw away - ha).
The oldest journal was a notebook I wrote in while Andy and I were in seminary in the '70's. On one of the first pages were some notes I must have taken in a class I had attended. There was a note that we all need an EMT - Encourager by Ministering Truth. I love that and I immediately gave thanks for my own personal EMT - a friend who always encourages me by reminding me of what is true. I can feel inadequate and ineffective, but spending time in her presence with her speaking truth to me about the hope we have in the Lord, the great love God has for his children, yes, even me, always lifts me up and helps me refocus.
Cleaning out, purging, getting rid of junk and collected stuff is a good thing. On the one hand, it's easier to just stash things on the shelves in the basement because then at least I don't have to think about what to do with them. You know...out of sight, out of mind.
But on the other hand, it's so satisfying to think about and determine what is really important and attempt to live simpler. I've often told myself that, in the end, everything is going to burn. So don't put took much importance on anything that can burn or be destroyed. It's also a good idea to hold onto things loosely. Don't put too much stock in them because when they wear out or become damaged, it hurts less. What's most important is our relationships, with our God and Savior and our family and friends.
This is a good reminder as I throw things away and clean out drawers and cupboards. Well, I accomplished a tiny start to my cleaning out: just my desk, the corner cupboard in the kitchen and another cabinet. I still have Andy's work space, our shed and the whole basement. Ugh!
Andy has been going to the Alzheimer's respite day care every day now for 3 weeks. What a life saver that has been. Andy is enjoying it and so am I. He actually seems more "with it" and engaged. I was starting to think that he doesn't seem as confused as before he started going, but then I remember that the other day, he was opening drawers and obviously looking for something. When I checked on him, his face was all lathered up with shaving cream, and he couldn't find his razor. When I asked him what he was looking for, he couldn't tell me, just mumbled something, so I asked if he needed his razor, and yes, that was it.
Then again this afternoon, he looked at me and asked where Phyllis was. I told him I was Phyllis, then he said, he thought he would gather up his things and go home. I told him he was home, but I'm not really sure he believed me.
So realistically, he is not improving. And I don't know why I would think he was. This week he is scheduled for a comprehensive appointment at the New Jersey Institute for Successful Aging, which is associated with Rowan University. It's supposed to be a 3 hour test/interview with Andy and myself. The CEO at the Respite Care facility suggested that we might get more answers from them. She said the regular doctor who sees him spends 15 minutes with him every six months and doesn't get a true picture of his condition. Every time we're in his office, he says Andy's symptoms are still mild. And maybe they are, but then again, maybe they aren't. I'm hoping to get a bit more realistic picture of what we're dealing with.
I've been enjoying a new song my personal EMT shared with me: Jesus, Draw Me Ever Nearer by Keith & Kristyn Getty
Jesus draw me ever nearer
As I labor thro' the storm
You have called me to this passage
And I'll follow tho' I'm worn
Chorus
May this journey be a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my heart's testing
With Your likeness let me wake
Jesus guide me thro' the tempest
Keep my spirit staid and sure
When the midnight meets the morning
Let me love You even more
Chorus
Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage
Let me leave them at Your throne
So this is my prayer these days: may this journey be a blessing, may I rise on wings of faith; and at the end of my heart's testing, with Your likeness, let me wake.
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