Andy had a doctor's appointment in the morning, so after that and lunch, we headed on down to Ocean City. It was so restful just to sit on the beach, talk with Dawn, and enjoy watching the kids having fun in the sun.
After dinner with them, we started on our journey home. I happened to glance at the gas gauge and was horrified to notice it registered with only one bar. I didn't get too nervous at first because after all, I have a Prius, which is averaging nearly 50 miles to the gallon. We were taking the back way home, through the Pine Barrens. Not a good idea - because there is nothing out there except pines...no houses, no people, no buildings of any kind, especially no gas stations, and perhaps not even phone reception. Then all of a sudden, the warning signal beeped and the last bar started flashing. My stomach started fluttering, my adrenaline started pumping. I was far from civilization. I finally made it to the town of Chatsworth, which is in the heart of the pines. I pulled off into a store's parking lot to give myself time to think what I should do. The store was closed, but as I sat there, another vehicle pulled in right beside me. I opened my window and asked the man where the nearest gas station was. He was not at all encouraging by telling me there was none around for many miles. Ugh. He must have seen my distress, because he did tell me I could go 4 miles up the road, then turn left and go another 4 miles to a Gulf station. So another 8 miles. I estimate that I had already gone 20 miles, could I make it another 8?
I had no choice. So I started out, praying all the way. And the Lord graciously got us there. I filled up the tank which took 9.718 gallons. Phew. The owner's manual says the fuel tank has a capacity of 11.9 gallons, so I really could have gone another 80 miles. (ha, ha) I was worried for nothing. Actually, I don't like to live with that kind of risk - thank you very much. I'm usually careful to get gas before the gauge indicates much below 1/4 of a tank. I don't know why I was so unaware this time. But it was another example of God's care of me, even when I am at fault.
We had been invited to join one of our friends at their house on Wednesday night. They were having a dinner with their community group. I had told them we would come, although I did mention we'd be out Tuesday and had a doctor's appointment on Wednesday afternoon. I wasn't sure if Andy could handle all that activity, but I didn't want to be reclusive and use him as an excuse. I really do love these dear people and wanted to spend time with them.
But it was not to be. Andy was really out of it on Wednesday, even before we saw the doctor. So I asked him if he felt he should or shouldn't go out in the evening, and he admitted it probably wasn't a good idea.
(So he had two doctor's appointments this past week, and he has two again this week. One of those is a dentist appointment, just a routine exam, but it still takes time out of our schedule.)
Well, after the adventures of Tuesday and Wednesday, and having to cancel our dinner with friends, I was feeling a little low on Thursday. It was a gloomy day with drizzle and gray clouds which was not conducive to a cheerful spirit. The Lord helped me to recognize this, though, and I was thankful for his presence. Then, he encouraged me further with a call from Dawn's mil (mother-in-law) who said she had been talking to Dawn who, after observing Andy at the beach on Tuesday, didn't think he was doing very well. She was also concerned for me and my constant care of him. (Bless her heart!) So Pat, who is a friend and a "go-getter" made some calls and found out that there is an adult day care right here in the town where we live, just 5 minutes down the road from us. She called there and found out there just happens to be 2 openings. The place gets grants so it is free! She said she told the lady I would be calling her.
So I did. I made an immediate appointment to see her to find out about this program. She asked me questions about Andy to try to find out where he was. After answering her questions, she told me he definitely should never be left alone, and I should start looking into full time care facilities. It took me aback somewhat. I had been praying that Andy would be able to live out his days in our home. I felt he would be more comfortable in familiar surroundings, and how ever could I afford to pay for full time care.
But I think this was a wake up call from the Lord. It got me to thinking about the situation. And I'm not so sure Andy is all that comfortable in our home. Realistically, these are not familiar surroundings to him any more. He is constantly confused and not sure where he is. I have to guide him to the bathroom or bedroom. And he can't even always express what he is looking for or wanting in any moment when he is up and moving around. I can usually guess, by giving him options, but it is a guessing game.
The adult day care is five days a week from 8:30 - 1:30. As I've been thinking this through, I'm beginning to see that Andy would benefit from this. They plan activities, exercises, have snacks, and Meals on Wheels for lunch. They keep the people busy. I think it would be much better for him than sitting in the church office all morning. So I am in the process of filling out the paper work, another doctor's visit for a TB test and a note from the doctor saying he has no infectious diseases. I'm going to try it any way. But he's a people person, and I'm anticipating he will enjoy it. I don't know yet how soon he would be able to do this...we're still in the process.
He doesn't seem to know what to do with himself unless I'm telling him what to do. He likes to watch movies and with his memory issue, he can watch the same one many times. He'll get one out of the cabinet and say, "I haven't seen this one in a while," when he just watched it last week! But he doesn't sit still for very long. If it's an hour and a half long movie, he'll watch about half, then will get up and walk away. I put it on pause for him to watch the rest later.
We've been working together a little more on our gardening. I just can't do much, though, it wears me out. I also can't give him a job to do, then expect him to follow through. The best thing is for him to work with me, giving him constant instructions. We trimmed our euonymus bush yesterday morning before it got too hot. Actually, it was a lovely morning.
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| Out of control |
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| Much better |
In consulting with my daughters, all of whom are gardening experts, I decided to get a clematis plant. So Andy and I took a drive to my favorite place to buy plants - Perennial Gardens. Their plants were on sale so I bought two clematis plants for $32 - they were already full of blooms.
A couple of conversations that I remember from this week:
After talking to Amy on Tuesday morning, Andy asked me how I knew Amy. I told him she was our daughter. Then he said, "I'm so far removed..." Yes, he's got that right!
Another morning, he asked me if I was going to be here tomorrow, too? I told him, yes. Then he said, "Good, I like when you're here!" Awww!
He is so sweet, always thanking me. He thanked me for taking him with me to the garden center yesterday. He thanks me for helping him, for making dinners, for reading to him, anything I do. He must think I'm a paid worker!
This morning after church he told me he was going to go with his dad to a basketball game. That was confusing to me. Really? Then he told someone in the church lobby that he was going to a football game this afternoon. The lady was puzzled! When Andy's dad came home, I asked him about the basketball game. The NBA finals are on TV tonight, starting at 8:00. I think Dad told Andy that and perhaps invited Andy to watch the game with him. But if it's only starting at 8:00, I think that's out of the question.
Another time, Andy came back from visiting with his mom and dad and told me mom had a growth on her neck and dad didn't feel good either. I went over to talk to dad and he said they were both fine. A lady who comes to spend time with mom every week had called to cancel her appointment because she had a growth on her neck that was causing a lot of pain.
So he does get the details of conversations all mixed up. I don't worry about it, though. I think by this time, everyone knows if something is important, they'll let me know and not depend on Andy to relay correct information.
This afternoon, Andy asked me when I had arrived. I told him I'd been here all day. Then he asked if I came with a group? I just said no, without an explanation. He seemed satisfied with that.
Yes, life is an adventure right now...not dull, that's for sure. I don't know how people go through these situations without the Lord. I am so grateful for his sustaining and enabling grace. He continues to minister to me and show me in many ways that he is caring for me and us.
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