When we left and got in the car, I asked Andy how he liked it. He said he did and thought it would be a good thing. Then he asked me if he was the leader of the group. I assured him that he was just a participant. Then I told him he could take off his "pastor's hat." He was relieved!
He will be there from 8:30 - 1:30 starting tomorrow. He will be given coffee and snack, then they do exercises and activities, with Meals on Wheels bringing them lunch. I think he'll enjoy this a lot more than sitting in the office with me. This program is 5 minutes down the road from where we live.
I've also been making some initial data gathering into care facilities. In my mind, that's still well in the future, but most of these facilities have a long waiting list, so it's better to have a plan in place than wait till the situation is desperate.
Andy seems to have come to a hyper-alert phase. He seems to be more tuned in to my conversations. On Friday morning, he was looking at a folder I had in my brief case for work. It wasn't even in plain sight, but somehow he found it and was looking through it. It was a facility. Then he actually started asking me questions about the place and wondered if he going there. I told him that I was just trying to gather data about options, and that he wasn't going anywhere now. And if he did, I would probably be going with him. And then he said, "Well, if we're going to move in together, we should probably get married!" Okay!
I was talking to a relative who is also dealing with a spouse with Alzheimer's. I hadn't talked to her in a long time and she was bringing me up to date on how he was doing. She said she now has to feed him and change his Depends, and he wandered into a neighbor's house at 4:00 am one morning. She didn't know about this until the police called her.
Hearing about all this was quite depressing. But the next morning, in my time in God's Word, I read Philippians3:8-11. Paul says, "I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law but that which is through faith in Christ - the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."
This is just what I needed for the moment. I want my greatest desire to be knowing Christ. Everything else is just rubbish, yes, even a happy, comfortable life. It is in our pain and weakness that we experience him and the surpassing greatness of knowing him. Even if I lose everything, (my husband, my home and retirement money) as long as I have Jesus, I have all I need. I like the title of one book, Jesus + Nothing = Everything. I didn't read this book, but the title says it all.
God also provided some encouragement in the provision of one of my daughters who told me that I was freaked out by what I was hearing from someone else's experience. She was right and it was good to talk with her.
I've got a lot on my plate right now, things I'm trying to think through, plans that need to be made, data that needs to be gathered. But in all of this, I'm amazed at the people God has placed in my path for giving me the advice and help I need. He is so good to me.
It was good to get a break from this seriousness by going to a birthday party yesterday. Dawn's family were all sick except for Kira. So they weren't able to attend, but Andy and I picked up Kira and took her with us to celebrate Chase's and Joanna's 10th and 8th birthdays. The party was held in the town park in Lancaster County. It was a very nice day, warm with a nice cool breeze. As long as we stayed in the shade, it was very pleasant.
Do you think she was happy with the present we gave her?
Andy rode in the back seat with Kira on the way up and the two of them had a good time together. He is so good with kids and I love to hear those girly giggles.
I read one of Ann Voskamp's posts recently that was an encouragement to me. She said "real prayer has eyes on Christ, not the crisis. Even if he doesn't answer as we would like, he does give enough - Himself. Even if he doesn't answer as we would like, - he does still love us. Even if he doesn't answer as I would like, I will still believe. Still believe - in HIM...that which we fear might happen to us might be the thing to produce deep faith in us. Why be afraid of anything, when he's using everything? God is answering all our prayers: no one enters into the real joy of the Lord in spite of the hard times - but squarely through the door of the hard times."
Jesus, I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)
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