I try to be open and honest about my struggles, especially since my husband has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. In all of this, though, I want to be careful to give honor and glory to God for his faithfulness, his love, his care in the details of what we are going through, because his fingerprints are all over this situation.
It's been over 2 years now since we heard the diagnosis, although I certainly had strong suspicions that that's what we would hear from the doctors. What a shock! And then what stress I was under while I tried to deal with these illnesses and the changes that meant. I suddenly went from being dependent on Andy to fix and take care of things, to me being in charge. I suddenly found I couldn't talk things over with him any more because if I did, he would become confused and try to fix or take care of the situation when he no longer could.
Things I've had to learn: set the timers on the outside lights, set the thermostat, change light bulbs (I know that's not really that hard unless you have to climb a ladder to get the lights in the cathedral ceilings and you're afraid of heights!), meet with the financial counselor to try to understand our retirement accounts, call a handyman to make repairs to house maintenance issues, learn to work the remote control.
I know to some people these things might seem easy, but I never had to do them because Andy was always handy, always capable, always efficient, always ready and eager to take care of things. He still wants to help but he can't. If he tries to clean up after dinner, as an example; he'll pick up something and ask me where it goes. If I tell him to put it in the refrigerator, he'll start opening cupboard doors, trying to figure out where to put it.
I keep his pills in his pill case in the same spot all the time on the kitchen counter. But if I tell him he needs to take his pill, he'll ask me where it is, even if I've gotten it out ahead of time and put it in plain view.
The disease is unpredictable. Sometimes he's interactive and communicating with others, and at other times, he's quiet and subdued. But he always tries.
Earlier this week, Amy called to say she wanted to come down to spend some time with us. Tuesday was a beautiful fall day, so we met her and the kids at Long Bridge Park. There are about 4 miles of trails and the kids were good sports at following the maps I gave them. There's a play ground there, too, so a good time was had by all!
We have been to Long Bridge many times...it's one of our favorite parks. I know I say that about them all, but this one is for real! As many times as we've been here, though, we were on some trails we had never explored before. I just love hiking with the kids. Their exuberance, inquisitiveness and fun loving ways are a joy.
I love these fall days. Yesterday was also beautiful so after a morning of laundry, a few errands, and leaf raking, off we went to another park. I wanted to check out the Rancocas State Park to make sure it would work for our family hike on Friday. This was our third time there, and I must say, I much prefer to hike that trail in fall or early spring where there are no leaves on the trees. There are more opportunities to view the Rancocas Creek through the trees when the leaves are gone. It's a three mile hike and Andy did the whole thing. I kept asking him if he was tired or if his feet hurt, but he was game. He loves the outdoors so much, and it is such therapy for him.
I didn't take any pictures of yesterday's hike since we had already been there and will be there again. I thought it would be a lot more interesting to have pictures of the kids when they're with us on Friday.
Today after church, we went to King of Pizza for a birthday party for Andy's dad. He turned 84 today. Andy's brother, Dan organized the party and there were kids, grandkids, great grandkids, cousins, friends, nieces, nephews who came - quite a gang.
We're going into Thanksgiving week when we receive all kinds of reminders that we are to be thankful. It should be a way of life for us - all year long - not just Thanksgiving week. I have a lot to be thankful for. God has blessed us with an incredible family, extended as well as immediate. I'm grateful for Andy's dad, who exemplified qualities of faithfulness, "steady-freddy" helpfulness, quiet strength, care and concern for people, love for God and family, that were passed along to his son, my husband. Those qualities in my husband made it easy for me to show respect to him.
Happy Thanksgiving!
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:3
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