Autobiography or Biography?

My goal has been to post something about my week every Sunday afternoon, but I can tend to be obsessive/compulsive. The reason I post is for my own therapy and review of my week, but I'm not going to be legalistic about it. If I don't feel like posting, I'm not going to post just to post.

That said, the last two weeks have seen a plethora of emotions and experiences. A dear couple, who've been friends of ours for many years, were in the area last weekend. When I heard they were going to be here, I quickly arranged for them to join us for dinner. I had not entertained company for the last two years except for our immediate family. I was a little nervous as to how it would go. Would it tire Andy out? How would he do with conversation? 

I think the fact that things have become a little more manageable recently and have smoothed out, have helped in the stress level. I don't think Andy is necessarily better, maybe a little worse, but we've adjusted to the new normal. 

I thought having chicken on the grill would be fairly easy, so the week before our company, I had Andy show me how to operate the grill. We cleaned it up and made sure there was plenty of gas in the tank. He had always been the one to do the grilling, but I decided I needed to learn to do it. The recipe I have for the grilled chicken is super good and it's a lot easier to do it on the grill than heating up the oven - especially in the dead of summer.

So our menu for the evening was:  grilled chicken, tomato-zucchini casserole, Caesar's salad and chocolate chip zucchini bread. I did not serve dessert, but it wasn't needed. Everything turned out great and we had a wonderful time with our friends. They moved to Colorado 15 years ago so we don't see them very often. We were privileged to visit them twice on our trips through the west as we stopped to see several National Parks.

I  don't know if having the company took a toll but the next two days we were both beat. Tuesday, my day off, I had absolutely no energy or motivation. I managed to get the bathrooms cleaned and laundry done, but sat in my chair the rest of the time. 

Unfortunately, with the fatigue, I also experienced an emotional low. But as usual, God gave me the strength to endure. Then on Thursday, he graciously gave me two different times with friends who encouraged and prayed with me. One of those friends loaned me a book that I started reading: Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. 

 



I have really benefited from what I've read already with some good reminders for experiencing contentment no matter what the circumstances.

She lists a prescription for contentment:

* Never allow yourself to complain about anything - not even the weather.
* Never picture yourself in any other circumstances or someplace else.
* Never compare your lot with another's.
* Never allow yourself to wish this or that had been otherwise.
* Never dwell on tomorrow - remember that tomorrow is God's, not ours.




 
 

So I was encouraged on Thursday after meeting with loving friends. Friday was a good day. Then Saturday arrived and again I had no energy, felt so tired and sluggish. This was somewhat discouraging because Tuesdays and Saturdays are the days I'm home and always look forward to getting lots done. But not this week. I sat in my chair, resting and not worrying about work getting done or not getting done. In the midst of my exhaustion, I happened to look out the window and saw a gold finch at the bird feeder. This made me so happy. What a beautiful little bird - so yellow and cheerful. It felt like a gracious gift from God to cheer me up.

The bird feeder is out the front kitchen window. Then out the back kitchen window, the crape myrtle is currently in full bloom - just bursting with color - another gracious gift from God. The creation shouts the glory of God.

In spite of the fact that I was so tired yesterday, I decided to go ahead with our plan to have Kira stay overnight with us. She had been asking, so how could we say no? Besides, this would be fun and would add a little spice to our otherwise colorless lives! 

So we got her around 4:30 in the afternoon, had dinner together. Well, Andy and I ate dinner, she was too excited to eat. Then we watched a movie together before heading upstairs to bed.

Does she look happy? It was great fun to have her and I was reminded of the value Jesus places on children. They add such joy to our lives. What a blessing all our grandchildren are - and we have a lot!

I was reading in New Morning Mercies a couple of days ago and was struck by the concept that my story is not an autobiography, but a biography written by Another. Every turn he writes, every twist of the plot, every chapter is right, for the best and advances his purpose. 

Hosea 14:9: "Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning, let him know them; for the ways of the Lord are right."

When I read a book, especially one that is exciting and suspenseful, I have a habit of reading the last page and sometimes even the last chapter - just to find out how it turns out. Then when I know everything turns out all right, I can relax and go back to read the rest of the book, enjoying each detail along the way.

When it comes to my own life, my story is being written by the Lord. But I can't read the end of my story. I must trust him in the middle of each twist and turn. Ultimately, of course, I do know that the end of the story of my life here on earth is the beginning of my eternal life. Although that is somewhat sketchy with a lot of unknowns, yet at the same time, it is a great comfort. And it gives me hope and peace to continue my journey.