I called the doctor on Wednesday and was able to get Andy in to see him. He prescribed another round of antibiotics and suggested we see a specialist. In thinking about this, I'm determined it wasn't a uti Andy was dealing with, but with his chronic prostatitis again. Prostatitis is much more serious and complicated than a uti, which would explain the difficulty in licking those bad bacteria.
Andy stayed home and mostly in bed Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. And when his body is struggling with healing with infection, he is so much more confused and forgetful.
We were planning to join in the celebration of Asher's birthday on Saturday but I felt it was in Andy's best interest to cancel that plan. Then Amy and family were hoping to come down today, go with us to church, have lunch with us and do a hike together. But that had to be canceled as well. The priority is to get Andy well.
All this had me somewhat down. Our life has changed. We're not able to be involved as much with the people we love. I feel the need to protect our time and draw in. I feel responsible to take care of Andy, protect his health, make decisions in regard to what he does.
In the psalms, David often preaches to himself, telling himself to hope in God. And I also need to preach to myself, remembering the goodness of God and that this life is not the end. So in reading over the things I wrote in my journal this week, I am encouraged.
Jan. 20
A.W. Tozer quoted Samuel Rutherford, who shouted in the midst of serious and painful trials: "Praise God for the hammer, the file and the furnace." The hammer beats the nail, the file bites the metal, the furnace is ruthless and savage. But I love the Master of the hammer; I adore the Workman who wields the file, and I worship the Lord of the furnace for my everlasting blessing.
Zechariah 13:9: "I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them..."
1 Peter 1:6-7: "Though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."
Jan. 23
Trials are like a fire; they burn up nothing in us but the dross and they make the gold all the purer. Put down the testing process as a clear gain and instead of being sorry about it, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, for this bestows on you a proof of your faith. (Charles Haddon Spurgeon)
Jan. 24
You cannot live faithfully in this life unless you are ready for the next. We pass through death and death dies! The more a Christian lives in the consciousness of God's presence here, the easier it is to anticipate the unqualified delight that will be experienced in God's presence there!
Jan. 26
Perfect physical health is not promised for this life. The worst diseases are those of the spirit: pride, conceit, arrogance, bitterness, self-seeking.
Jan. 27
Afflictions do not make us miserable.
1. Outward misery cannot diminish my happiness. "Blessed (happy) are the people whose God is the Lord."
2. Sometimes as afflictions increase, they bring more comfort and a further experience of grace.
God recompenses outward losses with inner enjoyments. "For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." (2 Corinthians 1:5) (Thomas Manton)
Jan. 28
The deepest need I have in weakness and adversity is not quick relief, but the well grounded confidence that what is happening to me is part of the greatest purpose of God - the glorification of the grace and power of his Son. (John Piper)
Jan. 29
How can I complain when I see how infinitely greater was the grief and how much more painful the anxiety endured by my beloved Lord and faithful Savior, the Son of God himself, who bore patiently and submissively, and more than that, prayed for those instrumental in causing that agony? (Martin Luther)
Jan. 30
The mystery of contentment is not so much removing the evil as by metamorphosing the evil, changing it into good. Grace gives us an eye to see the love of God in every affliction as well as in prosperity. "All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful." (Psalm 25:10) (Jeremiah Burroughs)
Jan. 31
"Find rest, o my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." (Psalm 62:5)
Feb. 1
What an excellent ground of hope and confidence we have when we reflect on these three things in prayer: the Father's love, the Son's merit and the Spirit's power! (Thomas Manton)
Hebrews 13:20-21: "May the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equip you with everything good for doing his well and may he work in us what is pleasing to him through Jesus Christ to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen!"
Earlier in the week, a mega-storm was predicted. As it turned out, the storm passed us by. But in anticipation, Dawn and I had arranged for her and Tommy to come over to shovel our driveway and the kids could play in the house with us while they did the work. I'm so glad that we had worked that out, because Andy was certainly not up to doing any physical work. Dawn and Tommy cleared the driveway in record time and had "fun" doing it, while Andy and I played with the kids in our nice, cosy, warm house.
Who can feel down looking at that cute little face?
So even though I am tempted to despair, God doesn't leave me there. He ministers to me through his Word, through others who've suffered, through friends, but most of all, through himself: the God of all comfort.
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