He is Risen!

Happy Day

Verse 1:
The greatest day in history, Death is beaten
You have rescued me
Sing it out Jesus is alive
The empty cross, The empty grave
Life eternal You have won the day
Shout it out Jesus is alive
He's alive

Chorus:
Oh happy day, happy day
You washed my sin away
Oh happy day, happy day
I'll never be the same
Forever I am changed

Verse 2:
When I stand, in that place
Free at last, meeting face to face
I am Yours Jesus You are mine
Endless joy, perfect peace
Earthly pain finally will cease
Celebrate Jesus is alive
He's alive

Chorus:
Oh happy day, happy day
You washed my sin away
Oh happy day, happy day
I'll never be the same OHH NO
Forever I am changed


Oh what a glorious day
What a glorious way
That You have saved me
Oh what a glorious day
What a glorious name

Chorus:
Oh happy day, happy day
You washed my sin away
Oh happy day, happy day
I'll never be the same
Forever I am changed

What a glorious glorious day,
I'll never be the same

© 2007 Sparrow

Christian lyrics - HAPPY DAY LYRICS - TIM HUGHES

It is a glorious day today.  The weather is nearly perfect, but even if it weren't, the thought that we serve a risen Savior gives great hope.  I was reflecting this morning about how the disciples must have felt those 3 days that Jesus was in the grave.  How utterly depressed and low they must have been.  Their hopes in the Son of God, their Messiah, their King - gone and dead.  They must have thought life was over.  What were they going to do now?  How could they go on?  They had no idea, no clue, even though Jesus had told them he was going to die and rise again.  Friday was the darkest day in history, but what they didn't know was that Sunday was coming!  From Friday, the lowest day to Sunday, the happiest day.  O happy day, indeed.

 

Pastor began his message this morning with an illustration from J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings.  I love that story, Tolkien masterfully contrasts good and evil, and even though he doesn't overtly talk Christianese, the parallels are unmistakeable.  In the story where Pastor picked up, Frodo and Sam are looking out at the land of Mordor (that evil place). 

 "The land seemed full of creaking and cracking and sly noises, but there was no sound of voice or of foot.  Far above the Ephel Duath in the West the night-sky was still dim and pale.  There, peeping among the cloud-wrack above a dark tor high up in the mountains, Sam saw a white star twinkle for a while.  The beauty of it smote his heart, as he looked up out of the forsaken land, and hope returned to him.  For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing:  there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach."

And that is characteristic of this life, too.  We are just passing through, there is light and high beauty forever beyond this life.  We may have suffering and hard times here, but this is not the end.  Jesus' resurrection makes our hope a sure hope.  Because he rose, we also shall rise; death is defeated.  And that is something to celebrate.

We've been busy the last several weeks.  Spring is always busy.  It's nice to be active outside again after the long, cold winter.  Andy has been feeling pretty good.  I've been pleasingly surprised at his energy level, tentatively waiting for him to come crashing down again.  His memory is still not good, but it's nice to have him feeling good anyway.  

A week ago, our magnolia tree was in full bloom.  I just had to get some sun therapy, sitting on the deck under those beautiful pink blooms and blue sky.

Last Monday we left work early and went to get Aiden for his birthday overnight with us.  What a sweet boy he is.  We had his favorite supper:  barbeque chicken pizza.  Of course, we had to watch a movie and have some ice cream together, too.  Tuesday was raining all day so we had a full agenda of indoor things to do.  Andy and Aiden got some biking in on Monday afternoon before supper, which is a favorite thing for Aiden to do.  They rode to the church, played on the parking lot, then rode home again.

 

On Tuesday we played games and watched another movie until time to head on home to the Lindsays.  We took along a cake with strawberries and blueberries and whipped cream for dessert.  Everyone was into having their pictures taken.

Then yesterday, we had a mulching party at our house.  Christy and her gang came down and worked all day on our gardens.  We had 5 yards of mulch delivered and they worked hard to get it all distributed.

I did my share of the work but no one took any pictures of me, so I have no proof.  Of course, someone also had to entertain the little ones.

At dinner time, Ricky and Amy came with their kids and Tommy and Kira stopped by, too.  What a house and yard full.  But a good time was had by all.

4 fairy princesses

 

The hungry guys

Sharing

 

Andy worked and played hard all day.  We were all concerned that he would be tired out, but he said the kids energize him.  Hmmm...he ended up taking two naps today! 

After church today, it was just too nice to stay in the house so we took a ride down to Franklin Parker Preserve in the Pine Barrens again.  We had been there several weeks ago and enjoyed it so much we just had to go back and explore some more trails.  We were not disappointed.  It was a perfect day.

Up and Down and All Around

My emotions have really been getting a work out!  I am happy, contented, trusting God one day (or even moment), then totally unbalanced and stressed the next day/moment.  I have really been ministered to in my reading.  I just finished Glorious Ruin by Tullian Tchividjian and am in the middle of 3 other books right now:  Heaven is Now:  Awakening Your Five Spiritual Senses by Andrew Farley, A Godward Life:  Savoring the Supremacy of God by John Piper and A Mind for God by James Emery White.

Some of the thoughts that have ministered to me:

"It is a great mercy that having doesn't make us happy.  If it did, we would be hopelessly deceived into thinking that things are God.  George MacDonald wrote:  'Happily for our blessedness, the joy of possession soon pales.' and 2 Corinthians 4:18:  "the things that are seen are temporary, but the things that are unseen are eternal'."

"When you find out you don't have to do anything for God, you are motivated to want to do everything for him.  Grace motivates, guilt kills."

"Grace is radically unbalanced.  It contains no but:  it is unconditional, uncontrollable, unpredictable and undomesticated."

"God says he will not remember our sins, they are covered by the blood of Jesus.  But what about Ephesians 2:12 when Paul says we should remember that we were separate from Christ, having no hope and without God?  Piper suggests that we should not remember the past if it hinders our current growth and obedience.  But if remembering can bring a deeper dependence on grace, a deeper love for Jesus and a greater trust in his power, then let there be a periodic remembering of the hopeless past.  But the norm should be forgetting the past lest it drag us down."

Psalm 130:4:  "There is forgiveness with you, O God, that you may be feared."  "God calls forth fear by forgiving sin, not by condemning it.  Grace!  If benefits hang on to our fearing God, then our fearing God hangs on the utterly undeserved forgiveness of God."

"The call of God creates life.  'Lazarus, come forth!'  We respond in the power of what the call created.  Ephesians 5:14:  'Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.' God initiates and enables - our doing depends on God's doing it first."

"Set free from the imperative to perform and performance will shoot off the charts, set free from having to earn your future, you can enjoy the present, set free from the burden of self-focus, you will be inspired to serve others - grace inspires!"

"Joy that evaporates in the heat of affliction is not joy in God, but in comfort.  1 Thessalonians 1:6:  'You received the word in much affliction, with joy inspired by the Holy Spirit.'  Joy in tribulation is the evidence of joy in God, not ease."  (Piper)

"A theology of the cross understands the cross to be the ultimate statement of God's involvement in the world this side of heaven.  Luther said:  'God was not only hidden in suffering but was at work in our anxiety and doubt.  When you are at the end of your rope, when you no longer have hope within yourself, that is when you run to God for mercy'."

 "Only when we come to the end of ourselves, do we come to the beginning of God.  This is a common theme in the Bible:  desperation precedes deliverance.  Grief precedes glory.  The cross precedes the crown.  Powerlessness is the beginning of freedom."

"Life is a gift, freely given to us by God.  We do not possess it by virtue of our merit.  We do not own our life in relation to God.  It is a loan.  Luke 12:29:  the soul is required "back" by the Lord.  Life is God's and is on loan to us freely so that we might enjoy glorifying God with it.  It is always and totally at His disposal, never rightfully at our disposal.  Life belongs to God."

In spite of the blessings of God and His Word and reading the thoughts of godly men, when circumstances change, I come crashing down.  I stress and fuss.  I wonder how things will work out, then I feel bad because I know I'm not trusting God.  I'm so grateful that He understands and He doesn't leave me in those desperate times, when I need him more than ever.  I'm also grateful that His love for me is constant and changeless and not dependent on me and my behavior.  He loves me regardless of how I feel.  Talk about amazing!

Sunday was an "up" day.  The sun was shining and the temperature was tolerable.  A sunny day with blue skies is always helpful.  We decided to take advantage of the day and drive down to the shore.  Originally, we talked about sitting on the beach at Ocean City, but as we were discussing options, I mentioned that we hadn't been to LBI in a very long time.  The last time we had been there, it must have been winter and the lighthouse had been closed.  We investigated whether or not it would be open this time and it was...so off we went.  Good decision.  As it turned out, it was pretty windy which wouldn't have worked too well if we had decided to sit on the beach.

It was a glorious day and we climbed all 217 steps to the top of the lighthouse (and my leg muscles are still attesting to that climb).

An example of the difference between us:  I was marveling at the blueness of the sky and Andy was awestruck with the brick construction of the lighthouse!

The view from the top was awesome:

So you would think that all these wonderful thoughts from my reading and a beautiful day at the beach would put me on "top of the world."  But no, yesterday's mail brought a big bill that led me to spiral down into the pit of self pity and depression.  It is a constant struggle to remember and remind myself of the truth.  God is sovereign, He cares, He lavishes His love and grace on me.  He is not surprised by my life's circumstances but allows them for my growth and His glory.

When will I ever learn???


Psalm 63:3:  "Your lovingkindness is better than life."  Better than life???  To live in the love of God is better than anything.  Amen and Amen.

Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

After a weekend of endless rain and dreariness, today's sunshine and blue skies were very welcome.  When we had heard the forecast for 64 degrees and sunny, Amy and kids had planned to come down to join Dawn and us for playtime in a nearby park.

But this morning, Chase woke up with a high fever and sore throat, so Amy had to cancel.  How sad.  But Andy and I called Dawn and together we decided that since it was such a nice day, we were going to take advantage of it.

So off we went, meeting Dawn, Kira and Kasey at Long Bridge Park and playing for a little while on the swings and playground.  I got to hold Kasey for a little while = happiness!

Kira was happy to run and walk but also wanted us to carry her piggy-back.  As much energy as she has, though, we didn't do too much carrying.

The sun is so bright!

Even the snake is enjoying the sun.

I can understand why people worship the sun.  It was glorious today.  I'm glad we were able to enjoy it because the rest of the week is supposed to be rainy again.

One Way Love

I'm currently reading One Way Love by Tullian Tchividjian and loving it.  The subtitle for the book is "Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World."  What a great God we have when you consider how much He loves us in spite of ourselves.  We have done nothing to deserve his love, grace and mercy, yet he constantly showers us with blessings.  Of course, the greatest gift of all was the gift of salvation through the cross of Jesus.  Tchividjian points out, though, that often in Christianity we focus on the "sacrifice we are making for Jesus rather that the sacrifice He made for us; our performance for him rather his performance for us; our obedience for him rather than his obedience for us.  The hub of Christianity is not 'do something for Jesus.'  The hub of Christianity is 'Jesus has done everything for you.'"  In other words, Do vs. DONE!

It's difficult, though, to change your focus when you've been brought up in a legalistic home and church.  In fact, it takes a life time of walking with the Lord and experiencing His faithfulness, and even then I don't think we'll ever know in this life the magnitude and significance of the grace of God.

Conditional love based on how I perform does not motivate.  In fact, it leads to discouragement and a defeatist attitude.  I may obey the law outwardly but still do it grudgingly, dragging the feet of my heart.  And yes, I'm speaking from experience!  Jesus said he came to set us free, and if He sets us free, we are free indeed.  His salvation is a free gift...nothing I can do or ever did can earn it.  He kept the law perfectly, then died in my place.  I'm in awe of so great salvation.


In these days, I feel a great need to constantly be encouraged by the Lord.  I'm grateful for books and friends who point me in that direction.  There's not much change in Andy's condition right now.  He continues to exercise with me every morning and tries to get outside for hiking and walking.  So physically he is doing well.  He tries to work around the house and church, but often gets confused and can't remember how to finish what he started.  He'll write things down on a list, but later when he looks at the list, he can't remember why he wrote down what he did.  There are some things he can still do.  He will read the World Magazine from cover to cover.  He is still very interested in politics and checks out his favorite news blog every day.  He also is still pretty good at his Solitaire game on the computer.  I keep checking on his statistics - currently he's at 94%; 16 wins, 1 loss.  That's better than if I were playing!

On Tuesday, Andy got a call on his cell phone.  I didn't pay much attention, being in another room, but when he got off the phone, I asked him who called.  He said the doctor's office called to change an appointment he had in April.  I asked him which doctor (because there are 2 different doctor appointments in April) and he couldn't remember.  So I guessed the one and he said he thought that was the one.  So I deleted that one from my calendar and went to add it to the revised date.  But in doing that it didn't make sense to me because they were changing the date from a Tuesday morning to a Wednesday afternoon.  The other doctor appointment had been on a Wednesday afternoon, so I questioned him if he was sure it was the doctor I had suggested to him.  He had to admit he didn't know.  So I called both doctors, got the correct date and time, then let those offices know they needed to have my phone number as their primary number.  

I also had to call Verizon the other evening because we had no dial tones on our house phones or wireless internet.  That is the kind of experience Andy used to take care of.  He was always so patient in those situations and a lot more technologically savvy that I.  But I had to do it this time.  The person who took my call had an accent, making it difficult to understand him, but I (and he) persevered and we got the problem solved.  Then Andy was so sweet to tell me I did a good job, better than he ever could have done.  Well, that was kind of him, but I never had to do it before.  He is so encouraging to me, building me up, loving me through this - as he always has.  He has always taken such good care of me, it's a privilege to do it for him now.  He is putting up with my "bossiness," taking charge, making decisions - all things that he used to do quite competently.  But he's letting me take over with grace. 

We are happy to have our family close enough to be involved with them.  A young friend told us the other day that when he was growing up, his grandpa had Alzheimer's but he has good and happy memories of him.  Andy loves being with his grandkids and is making an effort to remember their names and pray for them.

Last weekend, Amy and her girls came down to spend some time with Dawn and us.  Joanna and Katy spent overnight with Kira at her house, and Amy slept at our house.  Then they all went to our church with us on Sunday.  After lunch on Sunday, Amy, Joanna and Katy went with us to Smithville Park for a hike.  It was pretty chilly and the girls were tired but we had a good time being together.  Katy had expressed to me her excitement about going on a hike with us, but when we got to the park, she was so tired that Amy or Andy had to carry her the whole way.

We always see herons at Smithville Park

 Then this past week, I got a call from Dawn saying Kira wanted to come to our house for a play date with "little Grammy."  (She has 2 grammies and I'm the smallest!)  So we arranged to have her come over yesterday for 3 hours.  She has a lot of energy and is so much fun.  Andy played with her on the neighbor's trampoline, we read books, colored, played doctor and house, etc. etc.  and all with her princess tiara on!

So life goes on...It's not the same, but we continue to believe God knows what he is doing.  He is always good.  Our desire is to trust him to work everything out for our good and his glory.

Hope Springs

I felt like I needed some encouragement the other day and God led me to log onto Paul Tripp's website.  One of the headers on his website that day was When Suffering Enters Your Door.  What he said so ministered to me.  I listened to him several times, pausing, writing down, re-starting.  I got the shot in my spirit that I needed to turn my eyes off my circumstances and back on the Lord.

In a nutshell:  "I have as much hope in my deepest moments of suffering as I had hope before the suffering began.  Hope is never found horizontally, hope is ever only found vertically.  And the One who is my hope has not changed even though my circumstances have - dramatically.

That led me to look up some verses that spoke of hope.

Psalm 9:18 - God will never forget the needy, the hope of the afflicted will never perish.

Psalm 31:24 - Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

Psalm 33:18, 20, 22 - But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love...We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield...May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you.

Psalm 52:9 - I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good.  I will praise you in the presence of your saints.

 Psalm 62:5 - Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him.

Romans 15:13 - May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

 Colossians 1:27 - ...Christ in you, the hope of glory.

Hebrews 6:19 - We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.

Hebrews 10:23 - Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.

Several things have encouraged us recently.  One was in an article Andy and I read in World Magazine about Elisabeth Elliot.  She is currently 87 and has dementia.  The article was encouraging to us because it noted that her husband said she "handled dementia just as she did the deaths of her former husbands.  'She accepted those things, [knowing] they were no surprise to God,' Gren said.  'It was something she would rather not have experienced, but she received it.'  Hearing those words, Elliot looked up and nodded, her eyes clear and strong.  Then she spoke for the first time during the two-hour interview, nodding vigorously:  'Yes'."

It was encouraging to Andy and me because we have heard enough stories of people with dementia and Alzheimer's becoming crotchety and hard to deal with.  Andy has confessed to me that he doesn't want to become like that, but I don't think he will.  A friend who works with people in nursing homes was telling me that people become more like who they really are when they no longer have the filters that control what they say and how they act.  I have assured Andy that he will continue to be who he has always been:  loving, caring, kind.  I am already seeing a certain patient acceptance, a calm demeanor that is so hopeful. 

And speaking of SPRING...this weekend was hopeful in that regard.  The temperature is soaring into the 40's, the sun is shining, the sky is blue and I can't help thinking that spring is just around the corner.  So this afternoon we decided to check out a "new" place to hike that we had heard about.

The Franklin Parker Preserve in Chatsworth, NJ.
We heard about this place from fellow south Jerseyans and Pine Barrens lovers.  What a find.  We walked and walked on nice sandy trails along a very large lake.  On the other side of the lake we saw tundra swans.  I wanted to get closer to them to get a better picture but had to be content with using the zoom on my camera.  It wasn't for lack of trying to get to the other side of the lake.  We had to cross some water in one spot and a rickety bridge in another.  Well, it was still worth it.  We were exhilarated and cheered by the excursion.

 

Can you see the beaver dam under the bridge?

My feet did not get wet!

Those white dots are tundra swans, not islands of snow!

This excursion whetted our desire to go back for more exploring.  We barely scratched the surface of potential hiking we can do here since the website says there are 20 miles of trails.  It was an unexpected treat to see the tundra swans today.  They are obviously migrating and stopped here along the way.  We also saw some ring neck ducks but they were very shy and flew away as we got closer to them.  Even zooming didn't catch them, although I had to try.

That very little white spot in the lake is a duck!  I promise!

It was a great day to be out in nature and gave me great hope that spring will soon be here.

A Bright Spot in our New Normal

Just when you think things are leveling out, there’s a twist in the road.  A week ago, I thought Andy was doing pretty good.  He’s definitely feeling physically and emotionally better.  He’s exercising with me every morning, using weights and keeping up!  He’s also walking a lot back and forth to church.  He is feeling positive and happy.  These are all things to be very thankful for.  But the forgetfulness and confusion are still very challenging – for me, at least.  I’m trying to stay light about it, but there are times when I feel very sad.  Sad because I’m remembering how he was in the past and experiencing such a difference  in the way he is now.

Here’s an example of a recent conversation:

Me:  Tomorrow’s Saturday, I’m going out with a friend for coffee in the morning, but I have 2 things I would like you to do while I’m gone.  Do you think you can remember them?

Andy:  Sure…what do you want me to do?

Me:  Can you replace the smoke alarm upstairs and sweep the snow off the solar panels?  What do I want you to do?

Andy:  Snow off the solar panels.

Me:  And????

Andy:  I can’t remember the other thing.

Me:  replace the smoke alarm

Andy:  Oh, yes.

Me:  So what are you going to do tomorrow?

Andy:  smoke alarm

Me:  And???

Andy:  I can’t remember

Me:  Smoke alarm & solar panels

Andy:  ok, snow off the solar panels

Me:  And???

Andy:  I can’t remember

Me:  Smoke alarm  solar panels

Andy:  And what was the third thing?

Aghghghghghgh!

The amazing thing is that the next morning before we got out of bed, I asked him what he was going to do while I was gone, and he rattled it off without a clue from me.  So sometimes he’s got it and sometimes he doesn’t.

It’s challenging for me because he has always been so handy, so competent in everything, he could fix anything…but no more.  I still ask him sometimes, just to give him the opportunity to try.  But more often than not, he is not successful at what he tries to do.  And that to me is sad.

But in the middle of our new normal, we still have fun times together as well as with our family and friends.  He is still really good at playing with the kids.
 

 
Early last week, I realized it’s Grace’s birthday this week.  So I called Christy to arrange for having Grace spend an overnight with us.  As it turned out, this past weekend was the only time they had free the whole month of March.  So I left work early on Friday afternoon and went to pick her up.  Grace had a long list of things she wanted to do while with us and I’m happy to say we accomplished the entire list.

Friday

1.  Play games, games and more games:)

2.  Go outside

3.  Play solitaire on the computer

4.  Eat barbeque chicken pizza

5.  Eat ice cream

6.  Watch Anne of Green Gables

7.  Read a book

Saturday

1.  Games

2.  Bake an angel food cake

3.  Make earrings (I will bring the supplies)

4.  Go shopping

Grace is such a sweetie and a joy to have around.  We had a very good time and, in my opinion, the time was way too short. 

Christy decided to bring the whole family our way on Saturday to pick Grace up.  This accomplished three results:  we didn’t have to make the drive over to Pa., Grace got to stay longer with us, and Christy was able see her new little niece.  When I knew Christy would be coming down and staying for supper, I called Dawn and invited her and her family to come over as well.  Little Kasey is now 3 weeks old.  Evenings are her fussy time but there were plenty of us to take turns holding her and walking/pacing the floor with her.  

 She doesn't look very fussy here, does she?  Nice and peaceful, happy to be in Grace's arms.

Can you believe this girl is 13 ?