Discipline

"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." (Hebrews 12:5-6)

Reading these verses a couple days ago got me to thinking of discipline. I can't say that I really was grateful for my dad's discipline when I was a child. I'm afraid that more times than not, I was inwardly stubborn and resistant to his correction. And even as an adult now, I struggle when I am corrected. But isn't that only an indication of my pride and inexcusable need to be right.

On the other hand, as I became a parent, I remember disciplining my own children, agonizing on the need but recognizing that I had to because I loved them. I desired their growth into responsible adults which I knew would not happen unless I corrected, instructed and disciplined them.

Love is the operative word. God loves me and the proof is that he is disciplining me. He is growing me up to be more like his son, Jesus. Andy's illness has revealed a lot to me of my own "weaknesses" (SINS): impatience, pride, self-centeredness, lack of a servant's heart, etc. etc. The list is very long :(

The writer of Hebrews goes on in verses 7-11 to admonish us to "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as [daughters]...Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

I need continual reminders that this life is not about me - it's about Jesus. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever learn, although I feel like I had a few victories this week of not reacting in frustration and impatience. 

On Tuesday, we had our sprinkler system contractor to the house to winterize the system. When the man rang the door bell, he explained that he would be in soon to turn off the water. Then he went out to his truck before coming back in to the house. When I turned around, Andy was coming up out of the basement, then announced, "I turned off the water." The contractor was surprised that he was able to do it so quickly, but nothing more was said and he went back outside to continue his work. Meanwhile, I turned on the water at the kitchen sink and got nothing. Hmmm...

I told Andy that I didn't think the water to the whole house should have been turned off. I went back down to the basement with him, but I'm clueless, and he didn't seem to understand what he had done and how to rectify the situation. So I went out to the contractor and told him I didn't have any water, and I thought my husband had done something he shouldn't have and could he come in to check it out for me. He was very gracious and accommodated my request. He was able to fix the situation quite easily. Andy had turned off the water valve to the whole house...and I am no longer clueless!  It's amazing all the things I am learning! I'm also learning that I should keep my eye on Andy and make sure he doesn't touch things he shouldn't. We laughed about it and commented that all his life, he was so conditioned to respond to needs and be helpful. But at this point, his "helpfulness" is anything but!

I saw a sign in the neighborhood that the township would be collecting leaves this next week. So Andy and I went out to the front yard and did some raking together. Working together works well for us. We got quite a pile but the discouraging thing is that there are a lot more leaves still on the trees.
 

I happened to look out the kitchen window yesterday afternoon and saw Andy carrying the ladder on to the deck. I went out and asked him what he was doing. He said he was going to clean out the gutters because I had told him to. Well, there's no way I told him to do that. I don't want him up on a ladder with his shakiness and unsteadiness. Also, I had just had someone come over on Tuesday to clean all the gutters. But somehow he thought I had told him to do that job. Oh boy!
 

After the extra hour of sleep last night, I felt good today. We didn't go to church, though, because Andy is having some side effects from a change of medication. We watched the service online, had our lunch, then ventured out to Franklin Parker Preserve.


What a nice day it was, although I think the fall foliage is past its peak. There are still some yellows and reds, but brown was the predominate color. We took a different trail this time and walked for probably 4 miles. The trails were easy and broad, with lots of water on all sides.

We walked and walked and walked - an hour and 20 minutes. I was wondering if Andy was ok, but he didn't complain about being tired. At dinner this evening, though, he said he had been nervous because he had never been on that trail before. I'm not sure why he was nervous because the trail was clearly marked. It was wide and easy, but for some reason, he wasn't sure we were going to be able to find the way back. 

I do not want to lose heart no matter how hard it gets. This is the narrative God is writing for me, but it's inside the bigger narrative of God's own story. He's using my circumstances to make me more like Jesus. His ways are perfect and wise. The writer of Proverbs advises his son "not to despise the Lord's discipline or resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves as a father, the son he delights in." (Proverbs 3:11-12)

Then to reinforce these thoughts, Paul Tripp in today's reading in New Morning Mercies wrote about the whole idea of discipline. In the heading, he writes: 

"Yes, God disciplines his children, but rest assured, the full penalty for your sin has been borne by Christ and won't again be borne by you."

And he writes further:

"I think we have the same difficulty with the loving disciplinary zeal of our heavenly Father (that we have with the discipline of our earthly fathers). He disciplines us not to teach us how far we have to go to earn the right to be his children, but because we are his children. In his discipline, he is not making us pay the penalty for our sins, but delivering us from the sins for which Christ has already paid the penalty. His discipline, therefore, is never the result of his rejection, but the fruit of his acceptance. Since our penalty was fully and completely paid by Jesus on the cross, it needn't be paid by us ever again!"

"Discipline is not to make you right with God, but an expression of the fact that you have been made right with God and because you have, you are now the object of his fatherly love. You can expect his discipline, but you do not have to fear his anger. You will experience his correction, but you will never face his rejection. He disciplines all his children in order to produce a harvest of righteousness, but he will never punish you for your sin."

What beautiful, comforting words. I am a beloved child of God. Amen!