On Wallin Pond

"I love the Lord because he heard my voice; He heard my cry for mercy." Psalm 116:1

On Saturday morning, as I was walking on the treadmill, I was also desperately asking the Lord for wisdom. In a lot of ways, it was a good week. An occupational therapist came to the house several times to assess our situation, to give tips on things for Andy to do so that I wouldn't feel like I needed to come up with ideas. That was really good and I was encouraged, although it was quite sad to see how incapable Andy was in accomplishing simple tasks. He doesn't seem to understand that the square goes in the square and the circle goes in the circle, etc. But he works diligently to make it work and doesn't give up. (so typical of him) 

Several things the therapist suggested were actually children's toys which I already had in our grandkids' toy box. But there were some other ideas she had that I ordered and already received.

This one involves screwing nuts and bolts together, as well as matching the colors.

I thought he would really like that hammer and bench, but he's not as interested in that, perhaps because it's noisy and he has to hit pretty hard to make any progress. 
 

 

These toys are inexpensive and they occupied him at great length yesterday morning while I was working at laundry and baking.

The therapist also suggested an adult coloring book. I got one and he tries, even though it's hard for him with his tremors. 

So while it's helpful to have an occupational therapist give ideas and try to help, it is also sad to see him struggle to accomplish tasks that a toddler can do.

On Friday morning, I was part of the care giver support group where Andy goes for his day care. That was hard for me this time. In reality, I don't want to think of Andy progressively getting worse, although I see it constantly. I keep hoping somehow, he'll never have to go to a full-time care facility.

But that was part of the conversation on Friday morning. The leader said pretty forcefully that we need to have a plan in place before we get to the crisis. I see her point. She gave an example of a caregiver who was shopping (an innocent activity), and fell and tripped. She ended up in rehab for 8 weeks with a broken shoulder and kneecap. Fortunately, she did have a plan in place and her daughter was able to get her husband into a facility while she was convalescing. She was very emphatic that the caregiver needs to take care of her/himself because if something happens to her/him, the spouse is "doomed." I see her point. If something happened to me, what would happen to Andy? He can't take care of himself.

Well, I don't mean to be cavalier, but this is not taking into account the sovereignty of God. I don't believe in making decisions based on fear and what if's. And as a case in point, consider this example:

Several weeks ago, I was thinking I needed someone to help me in our morning routine. Someone to hang out with Andy while I shower and get ready myself. But I called around to several home health care agencies and was told there was a required minimum of 3-4 hours. I didn't need that many hours and felt it would be a waste to pay someone for that amount of time. So I really didn't go any further with this idea. I was getting adjusted to keeping close tabs on Andy and it was going "ok."

Then yesterday morning, "out of the blue," a friend called to say she wanted to give us a hour in the morning to help. Wow! I was shocked and overwhelmed. We are going to start with 3 days a week to see how it goes. She is highly qualified, a retired nurse, as well as a dear friend. Her husband is a former biking buddy of Andy's and over the years, we've done fun things together. How kind of the Lord to prompt her to serve in this way. I felt it was a direct answer to my desperation in praying for mercy while on the treadmill earlier. It was also an affirmation that the Lord is working on my behalf. He is not leaving me to my own devices.

This idea of the Lord serving his children is quite an interesting thing to think about. Jesus said that he didn't come to be served, but to serve, (Matthew 20:28 & Mark 10:45). His whole life was an example of service, from his poor birth to his death on the cross. But the amazing thing is that even now, he doesn't stop serving his children. Even in his majesty at the wedding feast in heaven, he will be serving us. This is an amazing picture in Luke 12:37 where Jesus tells his disciples that he will dress himself to serve, will have them (the disciples) recline at the table and he will come and wait on them.
 
I believe he gains great pleasure in serving us. He loves to meet our needs, to provide grace and mercy to help us in our times of trouble. I believe it makes him happy to make us happy.
 
That's why I love Psalm 116.
"I love the Lord, for he heard my voice; he heard my cry for mercy. 
Because he turned his ear to me, I will call on him as long as I live.
The cords of death entangled me, the anguish of the grave came upon me;
I was overcome with trouble and sorrow,
Then I called on the name of the Lord; 'O Lord, save me!'
The Lord is gracious and righteous; our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, he saved me.
Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you."     
(verses 1-7) 

It was raining yesterday morning but by afternoon the sun came out, so I ventured outside. It was very chilly, felt quite autumnal. And surprise, surprise...there was a lovely clementis flower bravely blooming as one last gasp before it gets really cold.