Scents, Aromas & Odors

A week ago yesterday, Christy came over with her tribe and had a candle party at my house. She had mailed out over 70 invitations, but we had decided a little last minute to go ahead with it, so not a lot of people came. She had a nice display set up and a number of candles did get sold. I think there were about 5-10 people who came.

Having all those scents around reminded me of a book I had read a number of years ago. It was Reforming Marriage by Douglas Wilson.

I really like this book and have referred to it a number of times over the years. It's about marriage, in case you couldn't guess. Of far more significance than burning candles that produce a pleasant aroma in the home is the spiritual aroma of our homes. Douglas Wilson says in his introduction:

"And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma." Ephesians 5:2

How would you describe the spiritual aroma of your home? When visitors arrive, before virtually anything is said or done, what is one of the first things they notice about your family? In many cases, it is the aroma. Do they feel as though a bad attitude crawled under your refrigerator and died? Or do they think someone has been baking spiritual bread in the kitchen all afternoon?

Perhaps the one living in the home is not in the best position to answer this question. Aromas are the sorts of things one gets used to. The residents usually do not notice those things that immediately strike a visitor. So if there is an offensive aroma in the home, it can sometimes be a difficult problem to solve. No easy formula of resolution is available. Nevertheless, the Bible does teach on the subject. The text noted above says that when Christians walk in love they are imitating Christ, and the sacrifice of Christ is a pleasant aroma to God. Similarly, a Christ-like home atmosphere produces this sort of aroma before God and consequently before man.

In other words, keeping God's law with a whole heart (which is really what love is) is not only seen in overt acts of obedience. The collateral effect of obedience is the aroma of love. This aroma is out of reach for those who have a hypocritical desire to be known by others as a keeper of God's law. Many can fake an attempt at keeping God's standards in some external way. What we cannot fake is the resulting, distinctive aroma of pleasure to God.

In the home, where should this wholehearted obedience begin? Where should the aroma originate? Jesus taught us, with regard to individuals, that cups must be cleaned from the inside out. If we apply this principle to the home, we should see that the "inside" of a family is, of course, the relationship between husband and wife, as they self-consciously imitate the relationship of Christ and the church. John Bunyan once exhorted husbands to be "such a believing husband to your believing wife that she may say, 'God has not only given me a husband, but such a husband as preaches to me every day the way of Christ to His church.'" The health of all other relationships in the home depends upon the health of this relationship, and the key is found in how the husband is treating his wife. Or, put another way, when mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

You get the idea. I am so thankful for Andy, my dear husband. God blessed me incredibly in giving us to each other. He really does love me unconditionally and sacrifically, a wonderful example of how Christ loves the church. I feel totally loved and accepted in the beloved. Because of this, I am so motivated to treat him with respect and do all I can to serve him and make him happy. That reminds me of a young man who was in our small group who told us the best piece of advice he ever got was at his wedding. A friend of his whispered in his ear as he stood in the receiving line: "don't forget: happy wife, happy life!"

So as much as I like to burn the vanilla coffee candle, the much greater challenge is to constantly check my attitude and heart before the Lord. Is the aroma of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control permeating our home?